How To Help A Friend Abusing Alcohol

Alcohol abuse and addiction, also known as alcohol use disorder (AUD), can affect not only the person drinking but also their loved ones. It can be challenging to identify alcohol abuse, especially when it comes to distinguishing social drinking from excessive consumption. However, recognising the warning signs is crucial as it can help intervene before the problem becomes severe. If you suspect that your friend is abusing alcohol, it is important to talk to them honestly and directly, expressing your concern and offering support. You can encourage them to seek professional help, accompany them to appointments or meetings, and provide emotional encouragement throughout their recovery journey. Remember to also take care of yourself during this difficult time and seek support from trusted friends, support groups, or a therapist if needed.

Recognising the signs of alcohol abuse

One of the most immediate signs of high blood alcohol concentration is slurred or incoherent speech. If you notice that someone is struggling to form words or is talking in a way that is noticeably slower and less articulate than usual, this may be a clear sign that they have been drinking excessively. Alcohol also dilates the blood vessels in the eyes, causing them to appear red or bloodshot.

Other signs of alcohol abuse include isolation from family and friends, strained relationships, and employment and financial issues. Someone abusing alcohol may also exhibit signs of irritability and extreme mood swings, make excuses for drinking, and choose drinking over other responsibilities and obligations.

Alcohol abuse can also cause physical changes to the body, such as building a tolerance to alcohol, meaning that one needs to drink increasingly higher amounts to feel 'drunk'. Alcohol abuse can also lead to the appearance of withdrawal symptoms, such as trouble sleeping, shakiness, restlessness, nausea, sweating, a racing heart, or even seizures.

If you are concerned that a friend is abusing alcohol, it is important to talk to them honestly and encourage them to seek help. You can offer to accompany them to doctor's appointments, group meetings, or counselling sessions, and provide them with the phone number of a local AA group. Remember that recovery is an ongoing process, and your friend will need your ongoing support and patience.

Knowing how to talk to your friend

Alcohol abuse and addiction, or "alcohol use disorder" (AUD), can affect not just the person drinking but also their families and friends. It can be difficult to distinguish between social drinking and alcohol abuse, but it's important to be able to recognize the warning signs of alcohol abuse. These can include slurred speech, bloodshot or glassy eyes, isolation, strained relationships, and employment and financial issues.

If you suspect that your friend is abusing alcohol, it's important to talk to them about it. Here are some tips on how to approach this difficult conversation:

• Seek support for yourself first: Dealing with a friend's alcohol abuse can be emotionally taxing and stressful. It's important to have your own support system in place before trying to help your friend. Consider turning to trusted friends, a support group, your faith community, or a therapist. Joining a support group specifically for friends and family of people with AUD, such as Al-Anon, can be a great source of comfort and provide you with tools for coping. Taking care of yourself is crucial so that you can provide love and support to your friend without feeling burnt out.
• Educate yourself about AUD: Learn about the signs and symptoms of AUD to better understand what your friend may be experiencing. This can empower you to have challenging conversations with your friend and help you identify when professional help is needed.
• Make a plan for the conversation: Write down the main points you want to discuss to help you stay focused during the conversation. Express your concerns about your friend's drinking using "I" statements, such as "I've noticed that after you've been drinking for a while, I see a more argumentative side of you." Focus on how their drinking affects you and how you are impacted by their alcohol use.
• Choose the right time: Timing is important when addressing your friend's alcohol use. Look for moments when your friend may be more receptive to discussing their drinking, such as when they express concern about their drinking habits or when they are struggling with negative consequences.
• Encourage positive activities: Suggest fun and interesting activities that can help take your friend's mind off drinking. Encourage hobbies that promote sobriety and provide a sense of accomplishment.
• Offer concrete support: Let your friend know that you are there for them and will support them in exploring treatment options. Offer to accompany them to doctor's appointments, group meetings, or counselling sessions. Help them find a medical or mental health professional specializing in addiction. Provide them with the contact information for local support groups like Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) or Narcotics Anonymous (NA).
• Set boundaries: Establish clear boundaries to show your friend that their behaviour has consequences and to protect your well-being. For example, decide that you will not lend them money for alcohol or be available for late-night calls when they are drunk. Communicate these boundaries directly and let them know that you will no longer enable their addiction but will support their recovery efforts.
• Be patient and non-judgmental: Remember that denial is a common symptom of alcoholism. If your friend is not ready to admit they have a problem, don't take it personally. Let them know that you will be there for them when they are ready to seek help.
• Expect relapse: Relapse is a normal part of the recovery process and doesn't signify failure. If your friend relapses, encourage them to modify their treatment plan and remind them that addiction is a treatable condition.

Setting boundaries

It is also important to encourage positive activities and hobbies. Motivate your friend by engaging in fun activities together, helping them associate sobriety with enjoyable experiences. Be supportive and remind them of their courage in fighting addiction. Offer to accompany them to doctor's appointments, group meetings, or counselling sessions. Help them find a medical or mental health professional specialising in addiction. You can also encourage them to make a concrete plan for their recovery, detailing the changes they will make.

Remember that recovery is an ongoing process that requires time and patience. Your friend will face new challenges as they navigate life without alcohol and address the underlying issues that led to their abuse. Your ongoing support and love are crucial during this journey. However, don't forget to take care of yourself as well. Join support groups like Al-Anon or seek counselling to ensure you have the necessary support during this stressful time.

If your friend is in denial about their problem, don't take it personally. Denial is a common symptom of alcoholism. Plant the seed of recovery by expressing your concern and willingness to help, and let them know that you will be there when they are ready. You can also provide them with the phone number of a local AA group. Remember, change can only happen when your friend is willing and ready.

Encouraging positive activities

Alcohol abuse and addiction, also known as "alcohol use disorder", affects not only the person drinking but also their families and loved ones. It can be difficult to identify and distinguish the signs of alcohol abuse, and it can be harder to spot a problem compared to the warning signs of drug abuse. However, it's important to be able to recognize the potential warning signs of alcohol abuse if you think your friend might have a problem.

Offer Emotional Support and Encouragement

Let your friend know that you are there for them and that you value your friendship. Express your concerns in a caring and non-judgmental way, and listen to them without being argumentative or accusatory. It's important to remain patient and supportive throughout their recovery journey.

Help Them Seek Professional Help

Encourage your friend to seek professional help by accompanying them to doctor's appointments, group meetings, or counseling sessions. Offer to provide a ride to meetings of groups such as Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) or Narcotics Anonymous (NA). If they hesitate to admit they have a problem, suggest a formal assessment by a healthcare professional who specializes in substance abuse.

Develop a Support Network

Encourage your friend to build a support network of positive influences and people who can uplift them. This can include family members, friends, counselors, other recovering alcoholics, healthcare providers, or people from their faith community. Support groups like AA can provide ongoing encouragement, comfort, and guidance during their recovery.

Encourage Healthy Coping Mechanisms

Alcohol abuse is often an attempt to manage stress. Help your friend find healthier ways to cope with stress, such as exercising, meditating, or practicing breathing exercises and other relaxation techniques. Encourage them to develop new hobbies, volunteer activities, or meaningful work that gives them a sense of purpose and fulfillment.

Avoid Enabling Behaviors

While supporting your friend, it's important to set clear boundaries. Don't offer alcohol when they visit, lend money if that's a recurring issue, or accept late-night calls when they are drunk. Instead, focus on encouraging their sobriety and helping them avoid triggers.

Focus on Self-Care

As a friend supporting someone with an alcohol abuse problem, it's crucial to also take care of yourself. Don't neglect your own needs and well-being. Join support groups like Al-Anon, which provides support for families and loved ones of people struggling with alcohol abuse. These groups can offer comfort, guidance, and new tools for coping with the challenges you may face.

Remember, recovery from alcohol abuse is a gradual process, and your friend will need ongoing support and encouragement. By encouraging positive activities and providing a supportive presence, you can make a significant difference in their journey towards healing.

Seeking support for yourself

Alcohol abuse and addiction can affect not only the person drinking but also their families and loved ones. It can be distressing to witness a loved one's drinking and the deterioration of your relationship with them. It is important to remember that you are not alone in your struggle. Alcoholism and alcohol abuse affect millions of people from all walks of life. While you cannot do the hard work of overcoming addiction for your loved one, your patience, love, and support can play a crucial role in their long-term recovery. Here are some ways to seek support for yourself:

• Turn to trusted friends, family, or your faith community for support: It is important to have people you can talk to openly and honestly about what you are going through. Sharing your feelings with others can help you feel less alone and provide you with valuable emotional support.
• Join a support group: Consider joining a support group specifically designed for friends and family members of people struggling with alcohol abuse, such as Al-Anon or SMART Recovery for Friends and Family. Listening to others facing similar challenges can provide comfort and help you develop new coping strategies.
• Seek professional help: Consider beginning individual counselling or therapy with a mental health professional. A therapist or counsellor can provide you with a safe and non-judgmental space to process your feelings and emotions related to your friend's alcohol abuse. They can also help you develop healthy coping mechanisms and strategies to support your friend's recovery effectively.
• Encourage positive activities: Engage in activities that bring you joy and help you relax. Self-care is crucial during this stressful time. Make sure to schedule time for yourself, maintain your health, and do things that make you happy. Your friend's recovery may be a long process, so maintaining a healthy balance in your life is essential.
• Set boundaries: It is important to set clear boundaries with your friend to protect your well-being. Communicate your boundaries directly and let your friend know that you care about them but will no longer enable their addiction. For example, you may decide not to give them money for alcohol or see them when they are under the influence.
• Educate yourself: Learn more about alcohol abuse, addiction, and recovery. This can help you better understand what your friend is going through and empower you to have challenging conversations. Understanding the treatment options can also help you support your friend in finding the right program for their needs.

Remember, seeking support for yourself is crucial. Taking care of your own needs will help you provide more effective support to your friend during their recovery journey.

Frequently asked questions