Staying Sober: When Your Friends Don't

Abstaining from alcohol can be challenging, especially when your friends don't share the same commitment. It's important to remember that everyone has different reasons for their choices, and it's valid to prioritize your health and well-being. Whether it's for a month, like the popular Dry January challenge, or a long-term lifestyle choice, here are some strategies to help you navigate social situations and stick to your goal of abstaining from alcohol: decide on a non-alcoholic drink beforehand, set a time limit for your stay, bring a sober companion, have an exit strategy, focus on conversations and activities instead of drinking, and be mindful of your surroundings. These strategies can help you stay true to your decision and ensure you don't feel pressured to drink when socializing with friends.

Plan ahead: Visualise yourself at the event, steering clear of alcohol

Visualising yourself at the event, sober and happy, is a powerful way to prepare and stick to your goals. Picture yourself arriving at the party, visualise yourself getting a non-alcoholic beverage, perhaps a mocktail, and see yourself steering clear of the bar area. Imagine yourself enjoying the event, socialising, and catching up with friends. You could even visualise yourself leaving the event before others start to drink too much, if that's something you are considering.

Planning ahead in this way can help you to feel more confident and in control. It is a strategy used by many to help them achieve their goals, and it can be a powerful tool to help you abstain from alcohol. You can also plan ahead by deciding on a non-alcoholic drink you will enjoy, and perhaps bringing your own supply, or checking in advance what will be available.

You could also plan to bring a sober friend along, or ask a friend to remain sober with you. This can help you to feel less alone and provide support if you need it. If you don't feel comfortable bringing a sober friend, you could ask a supportive friend who drinks alcohol to check in with you during the event, and support you if you feel tempted.

Finally, you could plan ahead by deciding on a time limit for the event. You might decide to leave before others get too drunk, and planning this ahead of time can help you to stick to your goals. It is also a good idea to plan some alternative activities that don't involve drinking, such as meeting for breakfast, going for a walk, or joining a book club.

Support network: Bring a sober friend or leave early if tempted

Support from friends and family can be a crucial factor in helping you abstain from alcohol when your friends don't. If you're planning to attend a social event where alcohol will be present, consider asking a friend or relative to join you and remain sober during the event. Alternatively, you could invite another individual who is also refraining from alcohol, as they may be able to relate to your experience and provide mutual support.

Before attending the event, it's a good idea to have the phone number of a supportive, sober friend whom you can call if you feel tempted. Decide how long you want to stay at the event in advance, and don't be afraid to leave early if you feel your resolve faltering. You can also choose to arrive at the event a little later, so you don't feel like you need to leave early, or to avoid staying too long.

If you do choose to attend the event, it's important to have a plan in place to help you navigate the situation. Visualise yourself getting a non-alcoholic beverage, enjoying the food, and socialising with your friends away from the bar area. This way, you can focus on the company and conversation rather than your desire to drink. Holding a glass with a non-alcoholic drink can also be a helpful strategy, as it reduces the likelihood of others offering you a refill.

Remember, your support network can extend beyond your immediate friends and family. If you're comfortable, consider reaching out to a trusted confidant or a sponsor, especially if they have experience with Alcoholics Anonymous. They can provide valuable guidance and support as you navigate social situations while abstaining from alcohol.

Mocktails: Have non-alcoholic drinks and snacks to hand

Mocktails are a great way to enjoy a drink without the alcohol. They can be just as refreshing and tasty as their alcoholic counterparts and are perfect for when you're abstaining from alcohol but your friends aren't. Here are some ideas for non-alcoholic drinks and snacks to have on hand:

Pitcher Drinks

A pitcher of lemonade or iced tea is a classic choice that is easy to prepare and always appreciated. You can make it at home and switch up the recipe with additions like lime juice or frozen fruit. For a more tropical twist, try a virgin piña colada, blending coconut milk and cream with pineapple juice and ice. Or, for a fun colour-changing option, mix natural blue tea with lemonade and watch it turn from blue to purple!

Individual Drinks

For individual drinks, you can try non-alcoholic versions of classic cocktails like a negroni, margarita, or mojito. These often come in cans or bottles, making them convenient and portable. They are perfect for pairing with snacks like a crunchy mix of nuts and olives. You can also experiment with Italian sodas, combining flavoured syrup and soda water, and adding cream for a richer taste.

Snacks

When it comes to snacks, choose items that will complement your non-alcoholic drinks and satisfy your guests. Crunchy snacks like nuts, crackers, or chips can provide a nice texture contrast to the drinks. Dips such as hummus or tzatziki can add a creamy element, and fresh vegetables or pita bread can be used for dipping. For a heartier option, offer small sandwiches or sliders. Fruit is also a great choice, either on its own or blended into the drinks for extra flavour and thickness.

Remember, it's all about creating a balanced and enjoyable experience. By having a variety of non-alcoholic drinks and tasty snacks on hand, you can ensure that you and your friends can have a great time without needing alcohol.

Alternative activities: Suggest non-drinking social activities with friends

If you're looking to abstain from alcohol but your friends don't, here are some non-drinking social activities you could suggest:

Breakfast or coffee dates

Instead of meeting up for drinks, suggest catching up over breakfast or coffee. This can be a great way to start your day and spend quality time with your friends without alcohol being the focus.

Outdoor activities

Opt for outdoor adventures like hiking, cycling, or simply going for a walk together. Getting some fresh air and exercise can be a refreshing alternative to drinking and can help improve your physical and mental well-being.

Mocktail evenings

Host a mocktail evening and experiment with creating tasty non-alcoholic cocktails. You can find many recipes online or in mixology books. Your friends can bring their favourite non-alcoholic drinks, and you can provide some snacks or even bake elaborate desserts together.

Book clubs and cultural outings

Suggest starting a book club with your friends where you discuss a new book each month. Alternatively, plan cultural outings to museums, art galleries, or even alcohol-free mocktail bars. These activities provide an opportunity to connect and engage in enriching experiences without alcohol.

Exercise and sports

Engaging in physical activities with friends can be a fun way to socialise without alcohol. Join a yoga class together, play a game of tennis, or sign up for a fun run. Exercise releases endorphins and can improve your overall mood and well-being.

Remember, it's important to communicate openly with your friends about your decision to abstain from alcohol. They may be more supportive than you think and willing to participate in these non-drinking activities with you.

Track progress: Keep a record of your alcohol consumption to stay mindful

Abstaining from alcohol when your friends don't can be challenging, but tracking your progress is a great way to stay mindful and motivated. Here are some tips to help you track your alcohol consumption:

Use a Drink Diary or Tracking Tool:

Keep a drinks diary to record what you drink and when. This can be a traditional paper diary or an electronic one. There are also many apps and websites that offer tracking tools, such as MyDrinkaware, DrinkControl, and the Drinkaware track and calculate units application. These tools can help you log drinks by type, size, and quantity, and some even convert them into standard alcohol units.

Understand Alcohol Units:

The number of units in a drink depends on its size and alcohol strength. For example, a pint of strong lager typically contains 3 units of alcohol, while the same volume of low-strength lager has just over 2 units. Knowing the units will help you stay in control and aware of your consumption. Remember the recommended limit: The Chief Medical Officer recommends that people should not have more than 14 units per week, regardless of sex or gender identity.

Set Achievable Goals:

Having clear, achievable goals will help you stay motivated. Whether you want to cut down, lose weight, or go alcohol-free, set goals that are realistic for you. You can use apps like MyDrinkaware to set goals and make gradual lifestyle changes at your own pace.

Track Your Progress:

Visual aids and charts can help you see your progress over time. Many apps provide simple charts and data comparisons to help you understand your drinking habits and see the positive changes you're making. You can also use your drink diary to periodically review your consumption patterns and identify any triggers or trends.

Combine with Other Strategies:

Tracking your alcohol consumption is a great start, but combining it with other strategies can improve your chances of success. This might include seeing a doctor for medical advice and a withdrawal plan, building a support network of friends and family, or finding alternative activities or drinks when you're with your friends.

Remember, it's okay to seek help and support if you need it. Reducing or quitting alcohol can be challenging, but it can also bring about significant improvements in your life.

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