Alcoholism And Relationships: Should You Stay Or Go?

Being in a relationship with an alcoholic can be emotionally and physically draining. Alcoholism can lead to job loss, financial problems, and strained relationships. It can be challenging to remain in a partnership with an alcoholic as you may experience a lack of support, respect, and love from your partner. Additionally, there is an increased risk of verbal, emotional, physical, or sexual abuse. If you are considering staying in a relationship with an alcoholic, it is important to seek professional help and ensure your own physical and mental well-being. While it may be difficult to leave an alcoholic partner, it may be necessary for your health and safety. Ultimately, the decision to stay or leave depends on various factors, including the willingness of the alcoholic to seek help and the impact of their addiction on the relationship and your life.

Emotional and physical safety

Being in a relationship with an alcoholic can be emotionally and physically draining. Alcoholism can cause a person to compulsively drink to the point where it interferes with their daily life, including their ability to maintain positive and healthy relationships. This can lead to feelings of resentment, bitterness, and helplessness in the relationship. Alcoholism can also cause financial problems, as money that could be spent on necessary items or bills is instead spent on alcohol. This can lead to financial instability and even homelessness.

Alcoholism can also take a serious toll on a person's health, increasing the risk of liver damage, heart disease, cancer, and other health problems. If your partner is often drinking and driving, they are also putting themselves and others at risk of a car accident. Alcoholism can also lead to legal problems, such as charges of assault if they get into a fight while drunk.

It is important to remember that you cannot force your partner to change. They need to be willing to commit to making changes and seek professional help for their alcoholism. If your partner is committed to getting help and making changes, you may choose to stay and support them on their recovery journey. However, if they refuse to acknowledge the problem or seek treatment, it may be best to consider leaving the relationship.

If you choose to stay, it is crucial to set boundaries and focus on your own physical and mental health, as well as that of any children or other household members. Seek outside support from trusted friends, family, or support groups, and consider seeing a therapist to ensure you have the necessary support to maintain your own health and well-being.

Financial strain

Alcoholism can lead to financial strain in a relationship. If your partner is spending a significant amount of money on alcohol, they may not be able to contribute to shared finances, such as paying rent or bills. This can cause a strain on the relationship as the other partner may have to assume the provider role. Additionally, an alcoholic partner may lose their job due to alcohol abuse, leading to further financial instability and pressure on the other partner to become the family breadwinner.

Alcoholism can also lead to a lack of financial planning and irresponsible spending. An alcoholic may lie or steal from their loved ones to fuel their habit, and they may not prioritize financial responsibilities. This can create a sense of financial insecurity for both partners and lead to arguments and resentment.

The financial strain caused by alcoholism can have a significant impact on the emotional and mental well-being of both partners. The partner struggling with alcoholism may feel shame, guilt, or anxiety about their financial contributions, while the other partner may experience stress, worry, and resentment. It is important for both individuals to seek support and prioritize self-care during this challenging time.

If you are considering staying in a relationship with an alcoholic, it is crucial to address the financial issues caused by their addiction. This may involve creating a budget, seeking financial counselling, or encouraging your partner to seek professional help for their alcoholism. It is important to remember that your partner must be willing to make changes and commit to their recovery for any financial issues to improve.

While it is possible to have a healthy and happy partnership with an alcoholic, it requires both individuals to be committed to addressing the issues caused by alcoholism, including financial strain. It is essential to set boundaries, practice self-care, and seek professional help if needed. Ultimately, the decision to stay or leave depends on various factors, including the willingness of the partner with alcoholism to seek treatment and make positive changes.

Enabling behaviour

Enabling an alcoholic can prevent them from facing the reality of their addiction and may delay their recovery. It is important to set boundaries and communicate your expectations clearly. This may involve expressing your desire for them to seek treatment and outlining the consequences if they refuse. While it may be difficult, allowing your loved one to confront the consequences of their addiction can be a crucial step towards their recovery.

Detachment with love, as advocated by Al-Anon, emphasises the importance of caring enough to allow your loved one to learn from their mistakes. It also involves taking responsibility for your own recovery and making decisions without trying to control the alcoholic's behaviour. Ultimately, you cannot force someone into recovery, but by setting boundaries and prioritising your well-being, you can work towards a healthier dynamic.

If you are in a relationship with an alcoholic, it is crucial to seek professional help to ensure the safety and well-being of both partners. This may involve individual or couples counselling, support groups, or other forms of treatment. Remember, the decision to stay or leave the relationship depends on various factors, including the alcoholic's willingness to address their addiction and make positive changes.

While it is possible to have a healthy relationship with an alcoholic, it requires professional support and a commitment to addressing the addiction. Without intervention, enabling behaviour can perpetuate a cycle of addiction and codependency, leading to negative consequences for both partners.

Treatment and recovery

Alcoholism is a disease that causes a person to compulsively drink to the point where it interferes with their daily life. Treatment and recovery from alcohol use disorder are possible, but it is a lifelong process with potential setbacks. If you or your partner is struggling with addiction, it is important to seek professional help.

If your partner is committed to getting help and making a change, you may choose to stay and support them on their recovery journey. This can be challenging, and it's important to take care of yourself and respect your own boundaries. You can support your partner by being communicative, respectful, and encouraging. It's also crucial to understand the disease of addiction and the effects of alcohol on the brain and body.

Open and honest communication is essential. Talk to your partner about the effects of alcohol on their life and why they decided to stop drinking. Be mindful of their triggers and respect their boundaries. It's also important to listen to their concerns and address them in an honest and empathetic way.

There are various treatment options available, including inpatient and outpatient programs, support groups, and therapy. The SAMHSA National Helpline is a free and confidential service that provides referrals to local treatment facilities, support groups, and community-based organizations. They also offer a text messaging service, HELP4U, for confidential treatment referrals.

Remember, recovery is a journey, and repairing damaged relationships takes time and effort. It's important to be patient and understand that your partner's sobriety may not instantly repair all the issues caused by their drinking. However, with professional help and mutual support, positive change is possible.

Self-care and support

Seek Professional Help

If your partner is unwilling to address their alcohol use disorder, consider seeking help from a professional interventionist or counsellor. They can help you determine the appropriate level of care for yourself and your family, and provide guidance on how to support your partner's recovery. Many people also find support groups such as Al-Anon and Co-Dependents Anonymous beneficial, offering a safe space to discuss the impact of alcoholism on their lives.

Prioritise Self-Care

Taking care of yourself is essential. This may include setting boundaries, such as not providing excuses or enabling your partner's drinking. Be mindful of triggers for relapse, including stressors like financial worries or relationship troubles. While supporting your partner, remember to honour your own needs and boundaries, and seek emotional support if needed.

Communication

Clear, respectful, and compassionate communication is vital. Be open and honest about the impact of your partner's drinking on yourself and your relationship. Express your concerns without blame or judgement, and encourage your partner to seek help.

Safety

Alcoholism can lead to dangerous situations, such as driving under the influence. If you have children, it is crucial to protect them from unacceptable behaviour and the potential risks associated with a parent's alcoholism. This may include keeping them away from your partner when they are under the influence.

Treatment Options

Alcohol addiction is a legitimate medical condition that can improve with treatment. Encourage your partner to seek professional help, such as rehab or recovery programs. Treatment options may include counselling, medication, and support groups. Remember that recovery is a journey, and relapse may occur. Provide encouragement and practical support, but also be mindful of your own well-being.

Frequently asked questions