Confronting Alcoholism: Strategies For Dealing With Uncontrolled Drinking

Living with an alcoholic can be emotionally and physically draining, and it can be challenging to know how to help them without neglecting your own needs. Alcoholism is a progressive disease, and it's important to remember that you can't control or cure your loved one's drinking. However, there are ways to support them and encourage them to seek professional help. Educating yourself about alcohol addiction and its treatment options can provide you with empathy and solid data to aid discussions and decisions. It's also crucial to take care of your emotional and mental health by seeking support from friends, counsellors, or support groups.

Educate yourself about alcohol addiction and withdrawal symptoms

Alcohol addiction, also known as alcohol use disorder (AUD), is a progressive disease that gets worse over time until the person suffering from it seeks help. It is characterised by an inability to control one's drinking despite negative consequences. AUD is the most common substance use disorder in the US, affecting 28.8 million adults. Heavy drinking is defined as five or more alcoholic drinks per day or 15 or more per week for men, and four or more drinks per day or eight or more per week for women.

Withdrawal symptoms can occur when a person with AUD stops or significantly decreases their alcohol intake. These symptoms can range from mild to severe and life-threatening, and they typically begin within six to 24 hours of the last drink. Mild symptoms include headache, mild anxiety, insomnia, nervousness, irritability, excessive sweating, upset stomach, heart palpitations, increased blood pressure, increased heart rate, and tremors. More severe symptoms include hallucinations, delirium tremens (DTs), and seizures. DTs can be fatal, so it is important to seek medical help if experiencing any concerning symptoms of alcohol withdrawal.

The severity and length of alcohol withdrawal vary based on several factors, including the amount and duration of alcohol consumption. Symptoms typically peak within 24 to 72 hours after the last drink and begin to resolve, but some may linger for weeks or even months. It is important to be prepared for withdrawal symptoms and to seek professional support, as withdrawing from alcohol can be dangerous. Talking to a doctor or specialist beforehand can help manage expectations and create a plan for treatment.

To educate yourself about alcohol addiction and withdrawal symptoms, you can research the effects of alcohol, signs of alcohol misuse, and treatment options. This knowledge can help you identify concerning behaviours and support your loved one in seeking professional help. It is also important to take care of your own emotional and mental health by seeking support from friends, counsellors, or support groups such as Al-Anon.

Prepare a plan and research treatment options

Dealing with a loved one's alcohol problem can be emotionally and physically draining. It is important to remember that you cannot fix the problem or change their behaviour. However, there are ways to help relieve the pressure and support your loved one on their path to recovery.

Prepare a plan

First, it is important to understand that alcoholism is a progressive disease that gets worse over time. Therefore, it is crucial to take action as soon as possible. If your loved one is incapable of being honest with themselves, they are unlikely to be honest with you. Thus, it is important to focus on the situation as it is today and not let past disappointments and mistakes affect your choices.

If you have been covering up for your loved one, it may seem daunting to confront them about their drinking. However, it is important to be honest and direct in your conversation. Educate yourself on alcohol addiction and the effects of alcohol so that you can explain the types of behaviour that are worrying you. It is recommended to have this conversation when your loved one is sober, as they are more likely to listen and there is less risk of triggering strong emotions.

Research treatment options

There are various treatment options available, and it is important to research and understand these options before deciding on a course of action. Behavioural treatments, medications, and mutual support groups are some of the common approaches to treating alcohol use disorder (AUD).

Behavioural treatments are led by healthcare providers and aim to change drinking behaviour through counselling. Medications can be prescribed by a primary care provider or other healthcare provider to help reduce drinking and prevent relapse. Mutual support groups, such as Alcoholics Anonymous (AA), provide a community of people with similar goals and experiences. These groups can be highly effective in achieving abstinence, especially when combined with clinical interventions such as twelve-step facilitation treatment.

In addition to these options, there are intensive outpatient, partial hospitalization, residential, and intensive inpatient programs available. Online self-guided programs and e-health tools have also been shown to be effective in helping people overcome alcohol problems.

Remember, there is no one-size-fits-all solution, and what works for one person may not work for another. It is important to gather as much information as possible about the various treatment options and providers before making a decision.

Take care of your emotional and mental health

Dealing with an out-of-control alcoholic can be emotionally and mentally draining. Here are some ways to take care of your emotional and mental health in such a situation:

Understand the situation

Alcoholism is a progressive disease that gets worse over time until the person suffering from it seeks help. It is important to understand that the person suffering from alcoholism cannot control their drinking, and it is not your job to cure them. Their drinking is not your fault, and you should not feel guilty or responsible for their behaviour.

Take a step back

While it is natural to want to help your loved one, it is important to also take a step back and focus on yourself and your own needs. Do not let negative feelings consume you, and remember to free yourself from blame.

Seek support

Confronting someone about their drinking can be difficult, and it is important to have a support system in place for yourself as well. Talk to a trusted friend, counsellor, or spiritual leader about what you are going through. Organisations like Al-Anon, Nar-Anon, and Alateen have networks to support those dealing with a loved one's drinking problem. You can also reach out to a mental health professional to speak about your stress and what you are going through.

Educate yourself

Educate yourself about substance use disorders, including the diagnostic criteria, withdrawal symptoms, detox, and treatment options. This can provide you with empathy for your loved one's experience and help you make informed decisions.

Prepare a plan

Have concrete next steps ready if your loved one is ready to get help. Look for local Alcoholics Anonymous meetings, find counsellors that fit their insurance plan, and research treatment facilities. Offer to give them a ride if they need one.

Stay connected

Continue to do things you enjoy together and encourage their hobbies and healthy friendships. It is important to stay connected and supportive while they work on themselves and seek treatment.

Time your conversation with the alcoholic person right

Timing your conversation with an alcoholic person right is crucial. It is advised to avoid talking to them when they are drunk, as they are unlikely to take in what you have to say. Alcohol and anger are often linked, so they may become defensive or angry, making the situation more challenging. Instead, have the conversation when they are sober and in a calm state of mind.

It is also important to recognise that a crisis situation, such as a DUI, losing their job, or going to jail, can sometimes be the turning point for an alcoholic to admit they have a problem and seek help. Therefore, it may be best to refrain from "rescuing" them from these situations, as difficult as it may be, so that they can reach out for help themselves.

Before having the conversation, it is recommended to do your research and gain a good understanding of alcohol addiction, withdrawal symptoms, detox, and treatment options. This knowledge will help you explain the behaviours that are worrying you and recognise any attempts to deceive or undermine you. You can also look into the addiction treatments available in your area so that you can present them with concrete next steps and professional support if they decide to seek help.

Additionally, consider preparing a plan of action for yourself. This could include seeking support from trusted friends, counsellors, or support groups specifically for those dealing with a loved one's drinking problem, such as Al-Anon, Nar-Anon, and Alateen. Taking care of your emotional and mental health is crucial, as confronting someone about their drinking can be challenging and emotionally draining.

Don't enable their behaviour or cover up for them

Alcoholism is a progressive disease that gets worse over time. It is important to remember that you did not cause their drinking, you cannot control it, and you cannot cure it.

Enabling an alcoholic partner or family member involves covering up for them or making excuses for their drinking. For example, calling their workplace and telling their boss that they are sick when they are actually intoxicated or hungover, bailing them out of jail for a DUI, minimising the impact of their drinking on the family, or pretending the problem doesn't exist. Enabling can delay the decision to get help and plays into the alcoholic's denial.

Instead, it is important to allow natural consequences to occur, as this can push the person towards admitting they have a problem and seeking help. For example, if their drinking has led to a DUI, losing their job, or going to jail, it can be difficult to accept that the best thing to do is nothing. However, a crisis can be a wake-up call and sometimes the only way for the person to finally admit they need help.

It is also crucial to take care of your own emotional and mental health. Confronting someone about their drinking can be challenging, and it is important to seek support for yourself as well. Talk to a trusted friend, counsellor, or spiritual leader, or reach out to support groups such as Al-Anon Family Groups.

Frequently asked questions