Men: Transform Your Relationship With Alcohol

Alcohol can have a range of negative impacts on your body, from impairing sleep, causing weight gain, exacerbating anxiety, and even changing your personality. Alcohol is also a leading cause of hypertension, which can lead to heart attacks and strokes, and is linked to multiple cancers. The good news is that you can take control of your drinking and change your relationship with alcohol. This may involve seeking professional help, reading self-help literature, or joining support groups. Taking a break from drinking, such as participating in Dry January, can bring lasting physical and mental health benefits, including improved liver and gut function, better sleep quality, and reduced cardiovascular risk factors. It's important to be realistic about the changes you'll need to make and set boundaries with those around you who still drink.

Recognise the situations in which you tend to drink more than intended

Recognising the situations that lead you to drink more than intended is an important step in changing your relationship with alcohol. Firstly, it is a good idea to record your drinking habits for a few weeks. This can be done using a drinking journal or a free app like Try Dry. By recording your drinking, you can identify patterns and triggers that lead to excessive drinking. This awareness will enable you to make a plan for dealing with these situations differently in the future.

Social situations and peer pressure are common factors that can influence drinking habits. Reflect on the people you spend time with and the impact of alcohol on your relationships. If you usually drink with certain friends, consider creating some distance from them during the initial phases of reducing your alcohol intake. It can be challenging when your social circle doesn't support your decision to cut down on drinking, and you may need to set boundaries and prioritise your needs. However, involving your loved ones in your alcohol-free journey can also be beneficial. For example, participating in activities that don't involve alcohol, such as rock climbing or mocktail-making, can create opportunities to spend quality time together with a clear head.

Stress and anxiety are also common triggers for excessive drinking. Alcohol is often used as a coping mechanism during difficult periods, such as the pandemic, when people faced financial worries, homeschooling, and isolation. Recognising these triggers can help you develop healthier coping strategies, such as exercise, meditation, or connecting with supportive friends and family.

Additionally, consider the physical impact of alcohol on your body. Alcohol affects sleep quality, hydration, blood sugar levels, liver function, and gut health. Understanding the negative consequences of alcohol on your physical health can be a powerful motivator to reduce your intake.

By identifying the situations and triggers that lead to excessive drinking, you can develop strategies to manage them effectively and change your relationship with alcohol.

Understand the impact of alcohol on your body and mind

Alcohol can affect any part of your body, and excessive alcohol use increases your risk of developing a disease, getting injured, or dying sooner. The more you drink, the greater the risk of harmful health effects.

Excessive drinking can harm your liver and other organs as it moves through the body. Just three consecutive days of drinking will increase the levels of fat on your liver, and alcohol-related fatty liver disease develops in 90% of people who drink more than 40g of alcohol (approximately two pints of beer or two glasses of wine) per day. The build-up of acetaldehyde from ethanol in the liver can cause fat deposits. Alcohol is also a leading cause of hypertension, which can lead to heart attacks and strokes, and multiple cancers. Even those who have no more than one drink per day have an increased risk of developing cancer.

Excessive alcohol use can also disturb the endocrine system, disrupting the hormones that help maintain the body's stability and health. These disturbances can contribute to endocrine-related health conditions, including thyroid diseases, abnormal cholesterol levels in the blood, reproductive dysfunction, and stress intolerance. Heavy drinking may also increase the risk of developing type 2 diabetes due to increased body weight, blood triglyceride levels, or blood pressure, and decreased insulin sensitivity.

Alcohol also affects the peripheral nervous system, which comprises the nerves outside the brain and spinal cord. Alcohol misuse is linked to peripheral neuropathy, which can cause numbness in the arms and legs and painful burning in the feet. Alcohol-related nerve damage may also cause heart arrhythmias, postural or orthostatic hypotension, diarrhea, and erectile dysfunction.

In addition, alcohol can contribute to a "leaky gut," allowing toxins into the body, changing the composition of the microbiota in the gastrointestinal (GI) tract, and increasing the risk of colorectal cancer. Alcohol can damage the epithelial lining of the GI tract, promote inflammation, and cause GI bleeding. Recent studies have also shown that addiction to substances like alcohol may be driven by the beneficial bacteria in our gut, alongside our gut hormones. Excess alcohol might affect our gut bacteria, which in turn might alter our behavioural patterns and prompt us to drink more.

Alcohol also inhibits glutamate, an excitatory neurotransmitter, resulting in a double dose of relaxation. It also stimulates dopamine, the hormone released by doing pleasurable things. Studies have shown that the dopaminergic systems of alcohol-dependent brains are altered, and the more dopamine that is released, the greater the motivation for alcohol will be. The capacity to make good judgments may be further impaired by the disrupting effect of alcohol on the prefrontal cortex, the rational, decision-making part of the brain.

Set boundaries with friends and family who still drink

Setting boundaries with friends and family who still drink is an essential component of self-preservation. Without boundaries, you may find yourself consumed by the needs of the drinker. It is challenging to start setting boundaries when there has been a lack of boundaries in the past. However, it is important to remember that boundaries are not about trying to control someone or make them change. Instead, they are about establishing how you want to be treated and creating a path to healthy relationships.

The first step is to be clear about what boundaries you need. Writing down your boundaries and the reasons for setting them can help you gain clarity and reinforce your boundaries. Having a list of behaviours that you consider unacceptable can be useful when establishing the boundaries that you need. For example, your boundary might be that you leave as soon as your friend or family member has one drink, or you might feel okay as long as they are drinking wine, but as soon as whiskey is poured, you leave. Many people set boundaries around not engaging in arguments or discussing certain topics when their loved one is intoxicated.

When setting and enforcing boundaries, try to remain calm and concise. Stick to the facts without overexplaining, blaming, or becoming defensive. You must become comfortable with using the word "no." You do not need to explain or apologize; a simple "no" or "no, thank you" should suffice. It is important to maintain your boundaries and take action if these boundaries are broken. People struggling with addiction will try to bend these boundaries, so setting clear consequences and acting on these consequences when boundaries are crossed will help hold your loved ones accountable and protect you.

Seeking support from friends and family can be helpful when setting boundaries for a loved one who is struggling with an addiction. Friends can help by engaging in conversations, spending quality time with you, and helping you solve issues. They can also attend support groups with you, such as Al-Anon. Remember that addiction is a family disease and affects not only the addict but also the loved ones around them.

Track your drinking with a journal or app

If you're looking to change your relationship with alcohol, one of the first steps is to understand your drinking habits. A journal or an app can be a great way to do this.

DrinkControl: Alcohol Tracker

The DrinkControl app is a great way to track what, when, and how much you drink. It helps you stay accountable and notice patterns in your drinking habits. The app is non-judgmental and keeps your data private, storing it only on your device. It also helps you stay within moderate (low-risk) alcohol limits and can help you cut back, stick to certain days, or simply be more mindful.

MyDrinkaware App

The MyDrinkaware app helps you track your alcohol consumption, calculate units and calories, and set goals to moderate your drinking. It can help you plan ahead, make realistic lifestyle changes, track progress, and celebrate your wins. You can also track your sleep quality to see how it improves as you cut down on drinking. The app allows you to log drinks by type, size, and quantity.

Drinking Tracker Cards

If you prefer a more analogue approach, the NIAAA offers printable drinking tracker cards. The 4-week tracker card is a simple calendar where you mark down each drink, helping you slow down your consumption. The drinking analyzer card helps you examine the causes and consequences of your drinking patterns.

Seek professional help if you are unable to cut back

If you are unable to cut back on alcohol, it may be time to seek professional help. This is a courageous step towards improving your health and well-being. Here are some steps you can take to access professional support:

Recognise the signs: It's important to be aware of the signs that indicate a need for professional help. If you experience difficulties controlling your drinking, intense cravings, or continue drinking despite negative consequences, you may be struggling with alcohol use disorder (AUD). AUD is characterised by a loss of control over alcohol consumption, and it affects approximately 1 in 10 Americans aged 12 and older. Recognising these signs is the first step towards seeking appropriate help.

Reach out for support: You don't have to go through this alone. Consider reaching out to a trusted friend or family member who can provide emotional support and encouragement. They can also help you find professional resources and accompany you on your journey towards reducing alcohol consumption.

Connect with a helpline: There are dedicated helplines specifically designed to support individuals facing alcohol-related challenges. For instance, SAMHSA's National Helpline (1-800-662-HELP or 4357) is a free, confidential service available 24/7 in English and Spanish. They provide referrals to local treatment facilities, support groups, and community-based organisations. Text-based services, such as their HELP4U text messaging service, are also available for those who prefer this mode of communication.

Consult a healthcare provider: Consider scheduling an appointment with your primary care provider. They can offer guidance, treatment referrals, and medications to support your journey. They will also be able to tailor their advice to your individual needs and circumstances.

Explore treatment options: Treatment for alcohol problems can take various forms, including behavioural treatments and medications. Mutual-support groups, such as Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) or 12-step programs, provide valuable peer support and can be combined with professionally led treatments. It's important to find a treatment program that suits your needs and addresses any co-occurring mental health issues.

Prepare for setbacks: It's important to remember that setbacks are common during the recovery journey. Don't view a return to drinking as a failure, but rather as a temporary setback. Seek ongoing support to prevent relapses and develop skills to avoid and overcome triggers, such as stress, that may lead to drinking.

Remember, seeking professional help is a sign of strength and a crucial step towards improving your relationship with alcohol. You deserve a healthy and fulfilling life, and taking this step will empower you to achieve it.

Frequently asked questions