How To Help An Alcoholic: When To Say Goodbye

Living with an alcoholic can be traumatic, damaging, and dangerous, especially if there are children in the household. If you are at the point where you are considering kicking an alcoholic out of the house, there is undeniably something wrong with your current situation. Kicking an alcoholic out of the house can be morally and legally difficult, and it is crucial to take the right steps to protect yourself, your family, and your home. If you are experiencing any form of abuse—whether physical, sexual, or emotional—this is a sign that you need to examine your situation and take action as soon as possible. Another glaring sign that indicates you should consider kicking a loved one out of the house is their unwillingness to change.

The dangers of living with an alcoholic

Living with an alcoholic can be traumatic, damaging, and dangerous. Alcoholism is a chronic, long-term disease that can lead to unpredictable moods and violent behaviour. This can put you and your household at risk, especially if there are children involved. Here are some dangers of living with an alcoholic:

Emotional and Mental Well-being

Living with an alcoholic can take a toll on your emotional and mental health. The stress and anxiety of dealing with an alcoholic can be overwhelming, and the unpredictable nature of their moods can make it difficult to know what to expect. This can lead to a constant state of worry and fear, which can negatively impact your well-being.

Physical Danger

Intoxication can lead to physical dangers as well. Alcoholics may become angry and lash out, posing a threat to those around them. They may not even realize they are behaving this way, and they may not remember once they sober up. This can create a constant state of fear and tension in the household.

Neglect and Maltreatment

If there are children in the household, they are at risk of suffering from neglect and maltreatment. Children may no longer be able to rely on the alcoholic parent, which can place undue pressure and stress on them. This can have long-lasting effects on their emotional and mental health.

Health Risks

Alcoholism is associated with various health risks, including an increased risk of developing esophageal cancer, alcohol-induced hepatitis, alcohol poisoning, cerebellar degeneration, and cirrhosis of the liver. These health complications can have serious and potentially life-threatening consequences.

If you are considering removing an alcoholic from your home, it is important to proceed carefully and seek legal advice. It can be a complex process, especially if you have emotional attachments or if the alcoholic is a family member. Remember to prioritize your safety and well-being and seek support from professionals and support groups if needed.

Legal and moral complexities of kicking them out

Kicking an alcoholic family member out of the house is a complex issue, both legally and morally. While the decision to remove someone from their home is a significant and challenging one, it may be necessary for the safety and well-being of other family members, especially children.

Legal Complexities

The legal process of evicting an alcoholic family member can be intricate and vary depending on the state and country. In most states, it is illegal to directly kick someone out of their primary residence, especially if they are co-owners, co-signers of the lease or mortgage, or have legal tenancy rights. In such cases, it is crucial to consult a lawyer to understand the specific laws and procedures in your area.

If the alcoholic family member is a spouse, divorce proceedings can lead to a judge ordering them to move out, but this may require selling the jointly owned property. Additionally, if there are children involved, the decision to kick out an alcoholic parent can impact child custody arrangements.

Moral Complexities

The moral implications of kicking out an alcoholic family member are profound. While the decision may be necessary for the safety and well-being of other family members, it can also be emotionally challenging due to the nature of familial bonds. It is crucial to balance the need to protect oneself and other vulnerable family members with the understanding that substance use disorder is a complex issue that requires support and treatment.

Navigating the Complexities

Navigating the legal and moral complexities of kicking out an alcoholic family member requires careful consideration and planning. It is essential to document the situation, gather evidence of alcohol abuse, and seek legal advice to understand your rights and options. Additionally, exploring alternative solutions, such as treatment programs and rehab facilities, can help address the underlying issues contributing to the family member's alcoholism.

Ultimately, the decision to kick out an alcoholic family member should be made with careful consideration of the legal and moral implications, prioritizing the safety and well-being of all involved.

Evidence and documentation for eviction

Evicting a family member with an alcohol addiction can be a complex and emotionally challenging process. It is important to understand the legal framework and requirements in your state or country before initiating an eviction. While the specific laws may vary, there are generally accepted steps and considerations to follow when documenting and gathering evidence for the eviction of an alcoholic family member.

Firstly, it is crucial to be aware of the applicable laws and regulations regarding eviction. This includes understanding the rights of the family member being evicted, as well as any protections they may have under the law. For example, in the United States, the Fair Housing Act (FHA) prohibits discrimination based on disability, which includes substance use disorders such as alcoholism. However, the FHA also clarifies that landlords can take action if a tenant's tenancy constitutes a direct threat to the health or safety of others or results in substantial physical damage to the property.

When documenting and gathering evidence for eviction, it is essential to have comprehensive records. Keep a detailed log of any incidents, including dates, times, and descriptions of the behaviour exhibited by the family member. If possible, obtain photographs, video footage, or audio recordings that capture the impact of their alcohol addiction on the household. For instance, this could include broken furniture, damage to the property, or evidence of their impaired state. Additionally, gather any relevant medical records or professional assessments that indicate a diagnosis of alcohol use disorder or related mental health issues.

It is also important to document the steps you have taken to address the situation. This includes evidence of attempts to support the family member through treatment or rehabilitation, such as correspondence with healthcare professionals or attendance records from therapy sessions. Additionally, demonstrate your efforts to set boundaries and enforce consequences for their behaviour. This could involve written agreements or contracts outlining expectations for their conduct while living in the household.

When presenting your case for eviction, it may be necessary to include sworn testimonies from other family members, neighbours, or professionals who have witnessed the impact of the family member's alcohol addiction. These testimonies should detail how their behaviour has caused harm or posed a threat to the health and safety of those around them. It is also essential to consult with legal professionals or seek advice from support organizations specializing in addiction and eviction laws to ensure you are following the proper procedures.

While the decision to evict a family member with an alcohol addiction is never easy, comprehensive documentation and evidence will help strengthen your case and ensure that the process is carried out in a lawful and ethical manner. Remember to prioritize your safety and well-being throughout the process, and consider seeking support for yourself as well.

Protecting minors in the house

If you are a parent concerned about your child's safety, based on your spouse's conduct and drinking, you could file for an order of protection. Divorce lawyers advise parents in this situation to broach it with their attorneys early in the process. Both court orders and negotiated agreements can stipulate alcohol abuse monitoring for one or both parents. More than 90% of custody cases are worked out by the parents, and those agreements are negotiated by the divorce attorneys representing their respective clients. The court prefers this and generally does not want to make a decision unless it feels it must in order to serve the best interests of a child.

There are many ways that a co-parent can be monitored for alcohol abuse. These requirements can be stipulated by a custody agreement negotiated by your and your partner’s respective family law attorneys or as determined by a custody order from the court. Multiple monitoring techniques may be required, and these can include court-mandated therapy with an addiction psychiatrist or another mental health professional, random testing, or remote alcohol monitoring systems. According to many divorce lawyers, court-mandated therapy is among the most common stipulations. Therapy is seen as a beneficial option that not only protects the child but helps the co-parent.

It is important to note that kicking an alcoholic family member out of the house can be morally and legally difficult, especially if you have children together. People have a right to their homes and living spaces, and kicking someone out will result in repercussions and legal ramifications. If you are dealing with a spouse or child, the situation may be more complex due to the emotional attachment involved. It is best to consult an attorney or legal professional about how to proceed, especially if you jointly own the house.

The role of family members and intervention

Living with a person suffering from alcohol use disorder (AUD) can be traumatic, damaging, and dangerous. It can be an unlivable situation, especially if there are children in the house. If you are experiencing any form of abuse—whether physical, sexual, or emotional—you should examine your situation and take action as soon as possible. Substance use disorder sufferers may also experience mental health problems, which may make them violent toward others or themselves, or prompt them to use poor judgment that could be harmful.

Making the decision to kick an alcoholic family member out of their home is a big decision. Kicking someone out can be morally and legally difficult, and it may have legal ramifications. It is crucial to take the right steps to protect yourself, your family, and your home. It is best to consult an attorney or legal professional about how to evict an alcoholic family member from your house. You may present evidence such as filmed footage, paraphernalia, pictures, or sworn testimonies about the tenant’s alcohol use. Evidence can help you strengthen your case and file an eviction notice. It is also important to learn the laws in your area before making a formal eviction notice.

Family members can play a crucial role in helping their loved ones overcome alcohol use disorder. Integrating partners and family members into AUD treatment is a highly effective way to maximize positive treatment outcomes and facilitate long-term recovery. For instance, the CRAFT approach helps concerned family members change contingencies for drinking by decreasing behaviours that protect the drinker from the consequences of their drinking, increasing positive family responses to changes in drinking, and learning how to communicate positive requests for change. The ARISE method (A Relational Intervention Sequence for Engagement) provides a series of steps that family members may use to encourage their loved one to seek treatment.

However, it is important to note that family dynamics can be complex when dealing with a loved one's alcohol use disorder. Family members may take on counterproductive roles, such as the "ally," who seeks to avoid confrontation by siding with the addict, or the "denier," who refuses to admit the existence of a problem. These roles can create diversions and internal struggles within the family, making it difficult to address the issue effectively.

Frequently asked questions