Mason Delacroix
Planning a funeral for a loved one can be a difficult task, especially when the deceased struggled with alcoholism. While some funerals are sad occasions, others take on a celebratory tone, honouring the life of the deceased. If you're planning a funeral for an alcoholic, there are several factors to consider, from the type of drinks served to the overall atmosphere and tone of the event. It's important to create a supportive environment for mourners while also respecting the wishes of the deceased. In addition, practical considerations such as the method of burial, associated costs, and adhering to the deceased's final wishes should be taken into account. This paragraph aims to introduce the topic of planning a funeral for an alcoholic, acknowledging the unique challenges and emotional weight that such an undertaking entails.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Purpose | To celebrate the life of the deceased and create a relaxed environment where friends and family can share stories and memories. |
| Location | Funeral homes often have spaces suitable for a party-style funeral, with the body present. Alternatively, a memorial service can be held elsewhere, with drinks and a more relaxed atmosphere. |
| Food and Drink | Consider dietary restrictions and preferences. If serving alcohol, ensure it is served in a reasonable range and accompanied by non-alcoholic options and food or snacks. |
| Floral Arrangements | Choose flowers with specific meanings, such as lilies, peace lily plants, roses, and carnations, or the deceased's favorite flowers. |
| Memorabilia | Display meaningful objects such as trip mementos, collectibles, or sports memorabilia at the entrance or create small photo books or booklets with the deceased's creative works or life advice as party favors. |
| Music | Play the deceased's favorite songs. |
| Speeches | Designate a few people to share stories or open the floor to anyone who wants to speak. Request speakers to focus on happy stories. |
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What You'll Learn
Funeral reception food and drink
Funeral receptions are usually held just after the funeral service or the graveside service. They are designed to provide the comfort of food and drink, along with a more informal atmosphere in which mourners and the grieving family can talk, share support, and share encouragement after the death of a loved one.
If you are hosting a funeral reception, it is important to plan the menu carefully. Consider any dietary restrictions and ensure there are enough options to accommodate everyone. It is also important to have plenty of non-alcoholic beverages on hand, as some guests may not be drinking.
When it comes to food, there are a variety of options to choose from. Finger foods are a popular choice for funeral receptions as they allow visitors to come and go as necessary while still enjoying a bite to eat. Some ideas for finger foods include:
- Sandwiches
- Sliders
- Cookies
- Cinnamon rolls
- Brownies
- Chips
- Fruits like watermelon
- Pretzels
- Nuts
If you are looking for something more substantial, you could consider a potluck-style meal where everyone brings a dish to share. This could include dishes like:
- Casseroles
- Pasta salads
- Baked dishes
- Salads
In terms of drinks, it is generally advised to avoid serving alcohol at a funeral reception unless it is a small private gathering with friends and family. Even in these settings, it is best to set a limit on alcohol consumption. Instead, offer a variety of non-alcoholic drink choices such as coffee, hot and cold tea, sodas, juices, and water.
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Celebrating the deceased's life
When planning a funeral, it is important to consider whether it will be a celebration of the deceased's life. This can be a great way to honour their memory and bring people together. Here are some ideas to make the funeral a celebration:
Choose a suitable venue
Many modern funeral homes offer vibrant and comfortable spaces that are perfect for a celebration of life. Shop around for a local funeral home that has the right facilities for the party you envision. Alternatively, you can hold a memorial service elsewhere, inviting guests to your home or another location to spend time together and share memories of the deceased.
Serve food and drinks
Food and drinks are essential for a celebration. Consider the deceased's preferences and offer their favourite dishes or family recipes. You can use a caterer or have friends and family cook. A potluck-style meal can be a fun and casual option. Ensure you accommodate all dietary restrictions and provide a variety of non-alcoholic beverages. If you choose to serve alcohol, be mindful of consumption levels and consider setting a limit.
Share memories and stories
Encourage friends and family to share their favourite memories and stories about the deceased. Designate a few people to speak or open the floor to anyone who wishes to share. Focus on happy stories and celebrate the life well lived. If possible, wait a while before holding the gathering so that the grief of guests is not too raw.
Create meaningful party favours
Provide guests with memorable keepsakes that honour the deceased. Consider small photo books featuring memorable pictures, printed copies of their creative works, or a booklet of their best life advice. These tangible items will help guests remember and grieve while celebrating the deceased's life.
Play their favourite songs
Music can be a powerful way to celebrate the deceased's life. Play their favourite songs or a playlist that reflects their personality and tastes. This can add a personal touch to the event and create a joyful atmosphere.
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Grief and alcohol abuse
Dealing with grief can be extremely challenging, and many individuals turn to alcohol to numb the pain, sadness, and grief that they are experiencing. Grief can weigh heavily on a person, and it can be overwhelming for some to come to terms with their loss. While alcohol can feel like an easy relief, it can actually perpetuate your grief. This is because alcohol functions as a depressant in the body, slowing down the central nervous system and the brain. This makes it harder for people to process their emotions and can leave their feelings unresolved.
Alcohol as a Coping Mechanism
For many, drinking after experiencing a negative feeling is a way to take the edge off. It's easy to rationalize that a drink can help someone relax and even fall asleep. However, once a person starts drinking for a specific reason, be it grief, depression, or anger, it can easily lead to alcohol abuse and addiction. The habit often starts innocently enough, and it can be difficult to take the drink away from someone who is mourning.
Treatment for Alcoholism and Grief
When dealing with alcoholism and its underlying causes, finding treatment for the addiction is only the first step. Without coming to terms with the root cause of alcoholism, the person suffering will likely struggle in the future. This means finding a rehab or treatment center that understands your grief and can address both concerns. It is imperative to express all of your emotions during the grieving process so that healing can occur. If grief isn't properly addressed, relapse is common.
Alcohol at Funerals
When planning a funeral, you may be considering whether to serve alcohol. Alcohol can help some people stay calm and in control of their feelings during a difficult service. However, it is important to be mindful of friends or relatives who behave poorly after drinking. In most cases, it is best to avoid serving alcohol at a funeral reception unless it is a small private gathering. Even in these settings, it is advisable to set a limit on alcohol consumption.
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Funeral costs
Planning a funeral can be an emotionally challenging time, and costs can quickly spiral out of control. The average funeral costs between $7,000 and $12,000, but prices can vary widely depending on the specific services and items chosen.
The Funeral Rule allows funeral providers to charge a basic services fee, which covers funeral planning, securing permits and death certificates, preparing notices, sheltering remains, and coordinating arrangements with third parties. This fee does not include charges for optional services or merchandise.
One of the most expensive items is often the casket, with average caskets costing over $2,000, and some selling for as much as $10,000. Caskets are traditionally sold by funeral homes, but third-party dealers are becoming more common. The Funeral Rule requires funeral homes to accept a casket purchased elsewhere without charging an additional fee.
Other significant costs to consider are burial plots, embalming, transportation of the remains, use of the funeral home for viewing and ceremonies, and cash advances for goods and services purchased from outside vendors, such as flowers, obituary notices, and clergy services.
To control costs, it is recommended to plan ahead, compare prices from multiple funeral homes, and decide which services and items are essential and which can be forgone. Pre-planning can help relieve loved ones of the financial burden and ensure your final wishes are honoured.
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Floral arrangements
When choosing flowers for a funeral, it is important to consider the preferences and personality of the person being remembered. Flowers in their favourite colours or varieties that hold special meaning can add a personal touch. For example, cut lilies, peace lily plants, roses, and carnations are popular choices for funeral flower arrangements.
There are various types of funeral flower arrangements to choose from, including:
- Standing sprays: These are floral sprays that stand on an easel and are designed to be viewed from one side. They are a popular choice for funeral services as they are a tribute to the deceased.
- Baskets: Floral bouquets delivered in baskets are ideal for a tabletop display and can be sent directly to the family's home.
- Wreaths: Graceful wreaths can be displayed during the service or sent to the family's home.
- Memorial plants: Living plants can offer comfort beyond the service and are a thoughtful way to commemorate the deceased.
The cost of funeral flowers can vary, but most people spend around $50 to $80 on arrangements. More intricate floral tributes will be more expensive, depending on the types of flowers used and whether they are in season.
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Frequently asked questions
It is up to you. Alcohol can help lighten the mood and bring people together, but it may be inappropriate for some guests. If you choose to serve alcohol, ensure there are non-alcoholic options and food or snacks as well.
Consider the dietary restrictions of your guests and ensure there are enough options for everyone. You can use a caterer, or ask friends and family to cook.
You may want to organise a funeral reception after the service, where people can gather to share food, drinks, and memories of the deceased. You could also create a display of meaningful objects, such as trip mementos, collectibles, or sports memorabilia.
You could plan a party-style funeral with music, dancing, and speeches. Friends and family can share their favourite memories, and you can send guests home with a small photo book or booklet featuring the deceased's best life advice.
