Managing Alcoholism: Strategies For Out-Of-Control Drinking

how to handle an out of control alcoholic

Alcoholism is a serious condition that can have a significant impact on the lives of both the affected individual and their loved ones. Living with an alcoholic partner or family member can be emotionally draining, and it can be challenging to know how to help them. It's important to remember that you didn't cause their drinking, and you can't control or cure it. However, there are several steps you can take to support them and encourage them to seek professional help.

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Educate yourself about alcohol addiction

Educating yourself about alcohol addiction is crucial when dealing with an out-of-control alcoholic. Here are some key aspects to focus on:

Understanding Alcohol Use Disorder (AUD)

Alcohol Use Disorder, often referred to as alcoholism, is a common medical condition characterized by an individual's inability to stop drinking despite the negative consequences on their health, safety, and relationships. It's important to recognize that AUD is not a choice or a character flaw but a chronic condition that can affect anyone. Understanding the nature of AUD can help remove the stigma associated with it and empower those affected to seek help.

Diagnostic Criteria and Severity

Educate yourself on the diagnostic criteria for AUD. The severity of AUD can vary, and it is typically classified as mild, moderate, or severe based on the number of criteria an individual meets. Understanding these criteria can help you gauge the severity of your loved one's condition and make more informed decisions about their care.

Withdrawal Symptoms and Detox

Learn about the physical and psychological withdrawal symptoms associated with alcohol addiction. Withdrawal can be a challenging and dangerous process, and understanding these symptoms can help you prepare and provide support during this critical phase. Detoxification is often the first step in recovery and involves cleansing the body of alcohol and its toxins.

Treatment Options

Familiarize yourself with the various treatment options available for AUD. This includes both inpatient and outpatient programs, behavioral therapy, support groups, and medication-assisted treatment. Research the different types of therapies, such as cognitive-behavioral therapy or group counseling, and learn about the medications used to manage cravings and reduce alcohol's reinforcing effects, such as naltrexone and acamprosate. Additionally, explore local resources, such as support groups, rehabilitation centers, and addiction specialists in your area.

Self-Care and Support for Caregivers

Caring for an individual with an alcohol addiction can be emotionally draining and stressful. It is crucial to prioritize self-care and seek support for yourself. Join support groups specifically designed for loved ones of alcoholics, such as Al-Anon or Alateen, where you can connect with others who understand your situation. Practicing stress management techniques, such as exercise and relaxation, is essential for maintaining your physical and mental well-being. Remember, taking care of yourself first enables you to provide more effective support to your loved one.

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Plan an intervention

Planning an intervention for a loved one who is struggling with alcohol abuse can be challenging, but it is a courageous step towards helping them recognise that they have support and that real help is available. Here is a step-by-step guide to planning an intervention:

Step 1: Get Help

The first step is to seek professional help. Contact a professional interventionist, social worker, therapist, or a doctor who specialises in addiction. These specialists can provide guidance and support throughout the process, ensuring that the intervention is structured and effective.

Step 2: Form an Intervention Team

If you choose to involve others, it is important to carefully select a small group of family and friends who are dedicated to helping your loved one. Ensure that the group consists of people whom your loved one likes and respects. It is crucial to maintain a supportive and non-judgmental attitude, as your goal is to encourage your loved one to seek help.

Step 3: Make a Plan

Planning is critical to the success of the intervention. Choose a quiet and private location, free from distractions, to ensure a serious conversation can take place. Decide on a time when your loved one is likely to be sober, perhaps first thing in the morning, and schedule it when they are available.

Step 4: Gather Information and Prepare Statements

Each participant should prepare a personal, compassionate statement expressing their concern and desire for the loved one's recovery. It is important to focus on the impact of the alcohol use on you, rather than accusing or blaming. Share what you have noticed about their drinking habits, and then follow up with questions or a discussion about the pros and cons of their drinking. This approach is called "motivational interviewing," helping them find their own reasons to change.

Step 5: Offer Help and Set Boundaries

During the intervention, once everyone has expressed their feelings and concerns, it is important to present concrete steps for seeking treatment. Research treatment facilities and programmes in advance so that you can provide options to your loved one. Assure them of your support, and let them know that seeking help is a courageous step towards recovery. If they refuse to seek help, it is important to set boundaries and uphold any statements made during the intervention.

Remember, it may take time for your loved one to accept help, and it is important to respect their autonomy and avoid arguing or venting anger. Stay in their life, as long as it is safe for you to do so, and keep trying.

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Discuss the impact of their drinking

Alcohol addiction is a chronic relapsing disorder characterised by compulsive alcohol drinking, a loss of control over intake, and the emergence of a negative emotional state when alcohol is not available. Alcohol use disorder (AUD) is a condition characterised by an impaired ability to stop or control alcohol use despite adverse social, occupational, or health consequences.

The impact of drinking on an individual with AUD can be severe and far-reaching. As individuals continue to drink alcohol over time, changes may occur in the structure and function of their brains. These changes can compromise brain function and drive the transition from controlled, occasional use to chronic misuse, which can be difficult to control. The changes can endure long after a person stops consuming alcohol and can contribute to relapse.

The negative feelings associated with alcohol withdrawal are thought to arise from two sources. Firstly, a diminished activation in the reward systems of the basal ganglia makes it difficult for people to experience the pleasures of everyday living. Secondly, an increased activation of the brain's stress systems in the extended amygdala contributes to anxiety, irritability, and unease. At this stage, the person no longer drinks alcohol for the pleasurable effects but rather to escape the negative feelings caused by alcohol withdrawal.

The impact of drinking on an individual with AUD can also have social and occupational consequences. Living with a partner who has AUD can be emotionally draining and challenging, as the non-alcoholic partner may have to pick up more responsibilities and worry about the health and future of everyone in the household. It is important to remember that the alcoholic cannot control their drinking, so it is unlikely that anyone else will be able to change it. However, there are ways to support an individual with AUD, such as carrying out research to gain a better understanding of alcohol addiction, encouraging them to seek professional support, and having conversations with them about the impact of their drinking when they are sober.

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Suggest treatment options

It is important to remember that people with alcohol use disorder (AUD) can benefit from treatment and that change is possible. Treatment options will depend on the severity of the condition, which can be mild, moderate, or severe. A healthcare provider will be able to determine the severity of the condition and recommend treatment options accordingly.

Inpatient Treatment

For severe cases, inpatient medical treatment or residential rehabilitation may be recommended. This involves staying at a treatment facility and receiving round-the-clock care.

Medication

Medication can be used to help reduce cravings and prevent a return to drinking. The U.S. Food & Drug Administration has approved naltrexone and acamprosate for the treatment of AUD. Topiramate and gabapentin can also help decrease cravings.

Behavioural Treatment

This type of treatment involves working with addiction counsellors or psychologists to change drinking behaviour through counseling. It can help individuals identify triggers and develop strategies to avoid or manage them.

Support Groups

Support groups such as Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) provide peer support for people quitting or cutting back on their drinking. These groups offer a sense of community and understanding, and can be a valuable layer of support in addition to treatment led by healthcare providers.

Referral Services

There are free and confidential referral services available, such as SAMHSA's National Helpline, that can provide information and referrals to local treatment facilities, support groups, and community-based organizations. These services can help individuals and families find the right treatment options and support.

Online Tools

Online tools such as the NIAAA Alcohol Treatment Navigator® can help individuals find qualified treatment providers near them.

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Take care of your own mental health

Living with an alcoholic partner or family member can be emotionally and physically draining. It is important to take care of your own mental and emotional health. Here are some ways to do that:

Educate yourself about alcohol addiction and substance use disorders. Understanding the diagnostic criteria, withdrawal symptoms, detox, and treatment options can provide you with empathy for your loved one's experience and give you solid data to aid discussions and decisions. Knowing what your loved one is going through can help you prepare for the future and keep an eye out for signs of potential overdose. It can also help you to recognise any attempts to deceive or undermine you.

Seek support for yourself. Confronting someone about their heavy drinking can be hard on you, too. Talk to a trusted friend, counsellor, or spiritual leader about what you are going through. Organisations like Al-Anon, Nar-Anon, and Alateen have networks across the country and online to support those dealing with a loved one's heavy drinking. SAMHSA's National Helpline is a free, confidential, 24/7, 365-day-a-year treatment referral and information service in English and Spanish for individuals and families facing mental and/or substance use disorders.

Don't let it consume you or let negative feelings get to you. Their drinking isn't your fault. You may feel tempted to control your partner's drinking or enable their behaviour, but remember that you did not cause their drinking, and you cannot control or cure it.

Take a step back from time to time. It's critical to look at your own emotions and needs before you can take steps to help your loved one.

Prepare a plan for when your loved one is ready to get help. Look for local Alcoholics Anonymous meetings, find counsellors that fit their insurance plan, and research treatment facilities. Offer to give them a ride if they need one.

Frequently asked questions

You cannot control or cure their drinking. Focus on taking care of your emotional and mental health and seek support from friends, counsellors, or support groups.

You can provide information and support to make it easier for them to seek recovery. Educate yourself about alcohol addiction and treatment options. Have a calm conversation with them when they're sober, and let them know the impact their drinking is having on you and others.

You can suggest a routine check-up appointment with a doctor, as they can recommend courses of action and provide a wake-up call. Educate yourself about the effects of alcohol and the signs of misuse so that you can present your concerns in a way that might help them see things more clearly.

Enabling behaviour involves covering for the alcoholic or making excuses for them, such as calling their workplace and saying they are sick when they are intoxicated. It also includes bailing them out of jail for a DUI or minimising the impact of their drinking on the family.

An intervention provides a place and time to deliver ultimatums and allow the family to express their concerns and emotional pain. It can be an effective approach to helping your loved one see the issues they are facing.

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