Battling Alcoholism: How To Cope With Losing Loved Ones

Alcoholism, or alcohol use disorder, is a progressive disease that can have devastating effects on the lives of both the person suffering from it and those around them. It is a common medical condition where people can't stop drinking even when it negatively impacts their health, safety, and personal relationships. The impact of losing someone to alcoholism can be traumatic, and the loved ones left behind often experience a range of emotions, including sadness, fear, and emotional pain. Dealing with the problem openly and honestly is crucial, and seeking outside help and support is essential for both the alcoholic and their loved ones.

Recognise the signs of alcohol use disorder

Alcohol use disorder (AUD), sometimes called alcoholism, is a common medical condition. People with AUD can't stop drinking, even when drinking negatively affects their health, safety, and personal relationships. AUD can range from mild to severe, and it's important to recognise the signs to get help for yourself or a loved one.

One of the key signs of AUD is a strong craving for alcoholic beverages. A person with AUD may spend a lot of time drinking or recovering from hangovers, neglecting their responsibilities at work, school, or home. They may also give up important social, recreational, or work activities due to their drinking. Additionally, they may repeatedly try to reduce their alcohol intake but fail to do so.

Another warning sign is when a person continues to drink despite alcohol negatively impacting their relationships. They may lie about or try to hide how much they're drinking and may even turn to drinking in physically hazardous situations. Their drinking may also be causing them to neglect their health, and they may continue to drink even when they have a medical condition or mental disorder that is exacerbated by alcohol consumption.

Binge drinking is another form of alcohol misuse. For men, this usually involves consuming five or more drinks within a few hours, and for women, it's typically four or more drinks in the same time frame. Binge drinking can lead to a high blood alcohol concentration (BAC) level, which is dangerous. Not everyone who binge drinks has AUD, but it is a risk factor.

If you or someone you know is exhibiting these signs, it may be time to seek professional help. Treatment for AUD often includes medication and behavioural therapy, and support from loved ones can be crucial during this journey.

Understand the impact of alcoholism on relationships

Alcohol use disorder (AUD) can have detrimental effects on relationships and lead to many negative outcomes. The impact of alcohol on relationships is widespread and can affect every single relationship a person is a part of. From partners, children, and other family members to friendships, AUD can cause a rift in intimacy, emotional availability, and trust.

Intimacy is a form of closeness or familiarity in a relationship, and AUD can damage this aspect, leading to breakups, estranged marriages, or lost friendships. Alcohol addiction can contribute to sexual dysfunction, impacting the quality of sexual intimacy between partners. Infidelity is also a factor that contributes to the quality of intimacy in a relationship. Research shows that individuals with AUD are more likely to engage in infidelity than those without.

Trust is essential for a healthy relationship, and alcohol addiction can lead to constant dishonesty, which can severely damage trust between partners. Alcohol misuse can also cause a person to become secretive and lie to their partner or family about their whereabouts, who they spend time with, and what they did during the day. This can lead to a lack of respect in the relationship, as a partner with AUD may become inconsistent and fail to meet expectations.

Alcohol addiction can also cause financial troubles, which can be a common source of strain for couples. The cost of alcohol can add up, and AUD can lead to unwise spending while under the influence. Additionally, job loss is a common issue, as frequent drinking can lead to absenteeism and decreased job performance. This can significantly impact a family's finances, as well as result in increased medical expenses due to alcohol's impact on the immune system and the potential for liver and pancreas problems.

The entire family unit is impacted when one member struggles with AUD, and children can experience negative consequences such as loneliness, depression, guilt, anxiety, and anger issues. Studies have also shown that females in relationships with males struggling with AUD experience higher rates of depression, anxiety, physical health problems, and occupational and social disruptions.

It is important to understand the impact of alcoholism on relationships to address the underlying causes and make positive changes. Helping a loved one struggling with AUD involves holding them accountable, encouraging healthier coping mechanisms, and supporting their recovery journey.

Learn how to help a loved one with alcoholism

Alcoholism and alcohol abuse affect millions of people from every walk of life. It can be tricky to help a loved one with an alcohol problem, but doing so can be rewarding for your relationship and can improve their health and well-being. Here are some ways to help a loved one struggling with alcoholism:

Educate yourself on alcohol abuse and addiction: Learn about the dangers of problematic alcohol use, as well as treatment and rehab methods. This will help you understand your loved one's situation and enable you to provide them with accurate information and resources.

Encourage open conversations: Talk to your loved one about their drinking in a calm, private, and non-judgmental setting. Express your concerns in a caring way, focusing on how their drinking affects their health and your relationship. Be prepared for denial and pushback, and don't take negative reactions personally. It may take time and multiple attempts to have a meaningful conversation.

Address underlying causes: Alcohol abuse often stems from underlying issues such as stress, boredom, loneliness, or mental health problems. Help your loved one identify these causes and find healthier coping mechanisms, such as exercise, meditation, or other relaxation practices.

Offer treatment options: Research treatment providers, doctors, counselors, inpatient rehab, and outpatient centres. Discuss the admissions process, insurance coverage, and payment plans. Provide your loved one with this information and encourage them to seek professional help.

Support their journey: Understand that overcoming addiction is hard work that your loved one must commit to themselves. You can play a crucial role by offering patience, love, and support throughout their recovery journey. Help them plan how to avoid triggers, deal with cravings, and cope with social pressure to drink.

Remember, you are not alone in this struggle. There are various resources available, such as helplines, support groups, and community organizations, that can provide guidance and assistance to both you and your loved one.

Know when to step back and let them face the consequences

Alcohol use disorder (AUD) or alcoholism can be a challenging condition to live with, both for the person affected and their loved ones. It can be incredibly difficult to watch someone struggle with addiction and the consequences it brings to their life, and it is understandable that you would want to help them. However, it is important to know when to step back and let them face the consequences of their actions.

Firstly, it is crucial to recognise that you are not responsible for curing your loved one's alcoholism. While you can provide support and encouragement, the decision to change has to come from them. Enabling their behaviour by hiding or dumping bottles, taking over their responsibilities, or offering financial assistance when they get into trouble because of their drinking may only serve to delay their realisation of the impact of their addiction.

Secondly, understand that your loved one's drinking is likely a means of coping with stress, and that giving up alcohol can, therefore, be stressful in itself. Help them find healthier ways to manage their stress, such as exercise, confiding in others, meditation, or other relaxation practices. You can also encourage them to open up about the reasons behind their drinking, as addressing these underlying causes will be crucial to their sobriety.

Thirdly, set clear boundaries and communicate them to your loved one. Let them know what behaviour you are and are not willing to accept, and be firm in enforcing these boundaries. This will help you maintain your own peace and well-being while supporting your loved one's recovery.

Finally, be prepared for relapses. Research suggests that it often takes multiple attempts for a person to successfully quit drinking. Help your loved one plan how they can avoid triggers, deal with cravings, and cope in social situations where there is pressure to drink. However, do not blame yourself if they are unable to quit on their first or subsequent attempts.

Remember, recovery from alcoholism is a journey that takes time and perseverance. By knowing when to step back and let your loved one face the consequences of their actions, you can support them in taking responsibility for their behaviour and making positive changes in their life.

Find support for yourself

Dealing with the loss of loved ones due to alcoholism is a difficult and traumatic experience. It is important to know that you are not alone and that support is available. Here are some ways to find support for yourself:

• Seek emotional support: Recognise that you are a survivor of trauma and acknowledge your feelings of sadness, fear, and emotional pain. Understand that it is normal to feel scared, angry, or confused. Allow yourself to grieve and process your emotions. Consider writing a letter to your loved one expressing your feelings, as this can be therapeutic and help you put your feelings into words.
• Reach out for help: Don't be afraid to reach out for support. Talk to trusted friends or family members who can provide comfort and understanding. Seek professional help if needed, such as therapy or counselling, to process your grief and trauma.
• Connect with support groups: Support groups, such as Al-Anon and Alateen, offer a safe and anonymous space to connect with others who have experienced similar losses. These groups can provide a sense of community, understanding, and shared experiences.
• Educate yourself: Learn about alcoholism and alcohol use disorder (AUD) to better understand the disease and its impact. This can help you recognise the signs of alcoholism and the behaviours associated with it. Understanding the disease can also help reduce any stigma or shame you may feel and empower you to support others going through similar situations.
• Practice self-care: Take care of yourself physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Engage in activities that promote relaxation and stress reduction, such as exercise, meditation, or hobbies. Maintain your social connections and seek out supportive relationships. Prioritise your own well-being and set clear boundaries to protect your peace while supporting your loved one's recovery.
• Prepare for relapses: Understand that relapse is a common part of the recovery process. If your loved one is still struggling with alcoholism, be prepared for relapses, but don't blame yourself. Help them plan how to avoid triggers, deal with cravings, and cope with social pressures to drink. Encourage them to seek professional treatment and support groups.
• Break the stigma: Share your story and talk openly about your experiences. Challenge the stigma associated with alcohol-related deaths and bereavement. By speaking up, you can help reduce the shame and judgement felt by others going through similar situations and create a more supportive environment for those affected by alcoholism.

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