Theo Nash
Alcohol is a drug, and underage drinking is dangerous. Kids who drink are more likely to be victims of violent crime, have problems in school, and be involved in drinking-related traffic crashes. Many kids and teens try alcohol during their high school and college years, and their peers do have a lot of influence as kids get older. However, parents are role models, and studies indicate that if a parent uses alcohol, their children are more likely to drink as well. It is important to talk about alcohol use with kids early and often as they grow up, reinforcing these messages and keeping the talks going. For older kids and teens, it is important to talk about your values regarding alcohol and be clear that you do not want your child drinking alcohol. If you have an adult child struggling with alcohol use, it is natural to be concerned and want to help. Encouraging them to get help may lower their risk of serious mental and physical health problems.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Start talking about alcohol use early | Discuss alcohol when it comes up naturally, e.g., when watching TV |
| Be a good role model | Drink responsibly, be active, eat healthily, and show healthy ways to cope with stress |
| Keep the lines of communication open | Encourage your child to be honest and ask questions, listen without interrupting |
| Share age-appropriate information | Discuss the effects of alcohol on the body, the risks of underage drinking, and how it can impact their future |
| Teach them to think and act independently | Help them work through different scenarios, such as refusing a drink at a party |
| Set clear rules and expectations | Explain that drinking is not allowed, and there will be consequences, e.g., losing driving privileges |
| Encourage healthy alternatives | Help them find fun activities and ways to cope with stress that don't involve alcohol |
| Be aware of warning signs | Look for changes in friends, behavior, dress, attitude, mood, and grades |
| Get professional help if needed | Encourage your child to seek help from a doctor or therapist |
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What You'll Learn
Be a good role model by drinking responsibly or not at all
Parents and caregivers are the number one reason that kids don't drink. Research shows that kids are aware when adults are drinking and even understand why. Kids start forming opinions about drinking alcohol as early as age 8, based on what they see adults doing. Therefore, it is important to be mindful of your drinking habits and how you can model healthy choices for kids.
If you choose to drink, do so in moderation. Kids will notice if you are drinking heavily, which is defined as 15 or more drinks per week for men and 8 or more drinks per week for women. You can also cut down on how often kids see you drink by waiting until after their bedtime. Alternating alcoholic drinks with non-alcoholic beverages like fizzy water is another way to model moderation.
Being a positive role model also means not using alcohol as a stress reliever and never driving after drinking. Explain to your child that drinking can damage a growing body and increases the risk of drinking problems later in life. For example, drinking before the age of 21 is illegal, and it can lead to long-term brain changes and a higher risk of addiction later on.
It's important to have regular, honest talks with your kids about alcohol to help them make good decisions. Keep the lines of communication open and be a good listener, especially during the teen years when peer pressure is high. Share age-appropriate information about the risks of alcohol and let your child know they can always call or text you for a ride, no questions asked.
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Discuss the dangers of alcohol with your kids
As a parent, it is important to discuss the dangers of alcohol with your kids early and often as they grow up. Here are some suggestions on how to approach these conversations:
Choose an Appropriate Time and Make it a Conversation
Select a time when both you and your child are relaxed and feeling open to a discussion. It is important to make it a conversation, not a lecture. Ask open-ended questions to encourage dialogue and try to understand their perspective. Find out what your child already knows about alcohol and what they think about it.
Share Facts and Correct Misinformation
Alcohol is a powerful drug that slows down the body and mind. Explain that it impairs coordination, slows reaction time, and affects vision, clear thinking, and judgment. Debunk the myth that beer and wine are safer than distilled spirits by explaining that they all contain the same amount of alcohol and have similar effects on the body. Also, clarify that drinking can damage a growing body and increase the risk of drinking problems later in life.
Discuss Portrayals in Media
Watch TV shows and movies with your child and talk about how alcohol is portrayed. Discuss how advertisements often associate alcohol with having a good time, while ignoring the negative emotions it can induce, such as sadness or anger. This can lead to a conversation about peer pressure and how they can navigate such situations.
Set Rules and Expectations
Be clear about your expectations, such as not wanting them to drink alcohol at all, and the frequency of check-ins when they are away from home. If your teen drives, emphasize that drinking any amount of alcohol and driving is unacceptable. Consider a family contract that states no drinking and driving, with consequences for breaking the rules.
Be a Good Role Model
Kids often learn from observing their parents. Set a positive example by drinking responsibly, not using alcohol as a stress reliever, and never driving after drinking. Show them that there are other ways to deal with stress and emotions. If you have alcohol problems in your family, share this information with your teen, as it increases their risk of developing a similar issue.
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Encourage your kids to make their own decisions
As a parent, you are the biggest influence on your child's values and decisions about drinking alcohol. It is important to talk to your kids about alcohol early and often as they grow up. Even if your kids seem to be ignoring you, studies show that parents really do influence teens' behaviors.
It is important to develop open, trusting communication between you and your child to help them avoid alcohol use. Encourage conversation and let your child talk about whatever interests them. Listen without interrupting and give your child a chance to teach you something new. Ask open-ended questions and encourage your teen to tell you how they think and feel about the issue you are discussing. Control your emotions and try not to respond with anger. Instead, acknowledge your feelings in a constructive way.
It is also important to set a good example for your kids. Drinking responsibly or not drinking at all, being active, and eating healthy are some ways to do this. If you have alcohol problems in your family, make sure your teen knows this could make them more likely to develop an alcohol problem. Help them understand the dangers of drinking and how it can affect their growing body and increase the risk of drinking problems later in life. Explain that drinking can hurt athletic performance and lead to long-term brain changes.
You can also give your child an "out" by using yourself as the "bad guy" and empowering them to say "no thanks" when offered alcohol. Let them know they can always call or text you for a ride home, no questions asked. Help your kids find their strengths and focus on what they do well. Teach them the importance of thinking and acting as individuals and that not everyone is drinking alcohol, even though this may be their common misconception.
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Be open to conversations about alcohol with your kids
It is important to have open and honest conversations about alcohol with your kids. This can help them develop a sensible relationship with alcohol and keep them healthy, happy, and safe. Here are some tips to help you navigate these conversations:
Start Early and Talk Often: Begin talking about alcohol use with your kids from a young age and continue the conversation as they grow up. Preschoolers may not need a lot of information, but you can start by setting a good example and answering their questions simply and honestly.
Share Age-Appropriate Information: Tailor your conversations to your child's age and share information that is appropriate for their level of understanding. For example, with younger children, you can keep the information simple by explaining that alcohol slows down the body and mind, making it difficult to make safe judgments. As they get older, you can discuss the short-term and long-term effects of alcohol on the developing brain and body.
Brainstorm Strategies: Help your teens navigate social situations where alcohol may be present. Brainstorm together and come up with strategies they can use when offered a drink at a party or when dealing with peers who are drinking. Let them know they can always reach out to you for help without fear of lecturing or punishment.
Discuss Family History: If there is a history of alcohol problems in your family, make sure your teen knows about it. Explain that a family history of alcohol misuse can increase their risk of developing similar issues.
Be a Good Role Model: Remember that parents are their children's role models, even during the teen years. Set a good example by drinking responsibly, not using alcohol as a coping mechanism, and never drinking and driving. Your actions can have a powerful influence on your child's attitudes and behaviours towards alcohol.
Encourage Open Communication: Keep the lines of communication open and create a safe space for your child to ask questions and share their thoughts and concerns. Listen as much as you talk, and avoid being judgmental or critical. This will encourage your child to be honest with you about their experiences with alcohol.
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Help your kids find fun activities that don't involve alcohol
It is important to talk about alcohol use with your kids early and often as they grow up. Preschoolers may not be ready for detailed information about alcohol, but you can set a good example by drinking responsibly, being active, and eating healthily. As kids grow older, it becomes crucial to have open and honest conversations about alcohol, sharing information that is appropriate for their age.
To help your kids find fun activities that don't involve alcohol, here are some ideas:
Bowling
Bowling alleys often offer family promotions and provide special gear for kids. It's a fun outing, especially when you invite other families to join. While bowling alleys may serve alcohol, you and your family can choose to stay sober and still have a great time.
Sports Games
If your kids love sports, treat them to a game. You can check out minor league baseball games or local high school or community recreation facility events. Supporting local teams is a fun way to enjoy sports without the presence of alcohol.
Game Nights
Host a game night at home with classic board games or card games like charades, dominoes, Pictionary, or Yahtzee. You can also break out old video games or try virtual reality games for a modern twist. Game nights are a fun way to connect with your kids and create lasting memories without involving alcohol.
Movie Nights
Organize movie nights with family-friendly films and create a fun atmosphere with popcorn and candy. Even if some characters in the movies are drinking alcohol, you can still enjoy the films without consuming any alcohol yourself.
Outdoor Activities
Engage in outdoor activities such as ice skating, snowshoeing, or sledding. These activities are more enjoyable and safer when done without alcohol. You can also pack a picnic with hot cocoa and watch the sunset at the highest point in your town.
Remember, by participating in sober activities, you demonstrate to your kids that alcohol is not necessary to have a good time. This fosters a healthy attitude toward alcohol and reinforces clear boundaries about avoiding underage drinking.
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Frequently asked questions
It is important to have conversations about alcohol with your kids early and often as they grow up. Share information that is appropriate for their age and keep the lines of communication open. Be clear about your values regarding alcohol and express that you do not want them to drink.
Underage drinking can lead to several serious problems, including an increased risk of being a victim of violent crime, having issues in school, and involvement in drinking-related traffic crashes. It can also cause long-term brain changes and increase the risk of developing an alcohol problem later in life.
Some warning signs that your child's drinking has become a problem include drinking more or longer than intended, neglecting responsibilities, sudden mood swings, secretive behaviour, and having family or school problems due to alcohol use.
It is important to set a good example by drinking responsibly or not drinking at all. Do not communicate that alcohol is a solution to problems and let your child see healthier ways to cope with stress. Encourage your child to participate in activities and find ways to have fun without alcohol.
Encourage your child to seek help and offer your support throughout the process. Express your concerns directly and listen to their thoughts without interrupting. Avoid using blame, criticism, or ultimatums, as this may cause defensiveness and frustration.
