Vivian Marlowe
Alcoholism is a chronic and progressive disease that requires a lifetime commitment to sobriety. It is a complex medical disorder with many interrelated biological and environmental causes. While seeking treatment can be intimidating, recovery is a lifelong process that can dramatically change an individual's goals, expectations, behaviour, and even personality. As a result, it is critical to understand the difficulties that a newly recovering alcoholic may encounter and how to provide support.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Recovery is a lifelong process | Requires ongoing treatment and management |
| Recovery changes individual's goals, expectations, behaviour, and personality | Support from loved ones is critical |
| Relapse is common | May occur due to stress, anger, loneliness, boredom, or conflict |
| Recovery is not linear | Extreme mood swings are common |
| Encourage healthy eating and hydration | |
| Encourage meditation and stress relief techniques | |
| Support groups and therapy can be beneficial | |
| Open lines of communication are important | |
| Avoid triggers and create a sober living space |
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What You'll Learn
Understand the challenges of recovery
Understanding the challenges of recovery is an important part of supporting a loved one through their journey. Alcohol use disorders are complex medical disorders with many interrelated biological and environmental factors. While recovery will improve the problems caused by addiction, many will still be present during recovery.
One of the biggest challenges is the risk of relapse, which is often greatest in the first months after rehab. Relapse is a return to previous levels of alcohol use and research indicates that approximately 66% of people who enter treatment for an alcohol use disorder experience it at some point in their lives. It is often caused by negative emotional states, conflict with others, and social pressures. It is important to understand that relapse may be a part of recovery, and that it does not mean that all progress has been lost.
Another challenge is the presence of mood swings and negative emotions. When someone with an alcohol use disorder starts sobriety, it is common to experience extreme mood swings and emotions such as anxiety, depression, anger, guilt, and shame. These emotions are normal and expected, and usually pass within days. However, they can be difficult for both the recovering addict and their loved ones.
Recovery can also be challenging because it requires a lifelong commitment to sobriety. This means that the person must learn to have fun and enjoy activities that are drug and alcohol-free. It can be helpful to return to old hobbies and pastimes that were enjoyed before the addiction.
Finally, recovery can be challenging because it often requires the person to confront underlying issues that were masked by addiction. This can be difficult and painful, and it can take time to address these issues and learn new coping mechanisms.
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Support without enabling
When a loved one is recovering from alcoholism, it is important to support them without enabling their addiction. Here are some ways to do that:
Understand the Enabling Behaviour
Enabling is toxic behaviour that hurts alcoholics and drug addicts. Enabling differs from helping when you shield the person from the consequences of their drinking. For example, hiding or dumping bottles, taking over their responsibilities, or offering financial assistance when they lose their job or get into legal trouble because of their drinking. Enabling can also lead to serious legal problems. It is important to understand what enabling looks like to avoid it and provide meaningful support to your loved one.
Set Clear Boundaries
Setting boundaries is a crucial aspect of supporting a recovering alcoholic without enabling them. Boundaries communicate that you love your loved one but do not condone their addiction or unhealthy behaviours. It is important to have clear boundaries about what is acceptable and unacceptable in your relationship and living space. For example, you can set boundaries around alcohol consumption, such as not allowing alcohol in your home or around certain family members.
Encourage Healthy Coping Mechanisms
During recovery, a person will have to deal with uncomfortable feelings and emotions that they previously masked with alcohol. It is important to encourage your loved one to find healthier ways to cope with stress and rebound from setbacks. This could include stress relief techniques such as meditation, which can help manage negative emotions, anxiety, and depression. Encourage them to talk to someone and work through what's bothering them. You can also suggest healthy lifestyle changes, such as eating a nutritious diet and staying hydrated, which can help reduce alcohol cravings and support the recovery process.
Seek Professional Help
Encourage your loved one to seek professional help and support them in accessing it. Offer to accompany them to doctor's appointments, group meetings, or counselling sessions. You can also suggest they call a helpline for advice. Recovery is an ongoing process, and your loved one will need guidance and new coping skills to maintain sobriety. It is important to remember that you cannot force them to stop using alcohol, but you can encourage them to seek treatment and support their journey.
Take Care of Yourself
Supporting a loved one through recovery can be challenging, and it is important to also take care of yourself. Make time for self-care and engage in activities that you enjoy. Remember that you cannot fix or control your loved one's addiction; they must want to change. By taking care of yourself, you can also model healthy behaviours and set boundaries that support your loved one's recovery.
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Prepare for mood swings and cravings
When someone with alcohol use disorder starts sobriety, it’s common to experience extreme mood swings. You might go from seeing your loved one completely fine one day to feeling terrible the next. The recovery process is not linear, so be prepared for some setbacks. Don't panic. Mood swings won't last forever, and they usually pass within days. Take care of yourself and encourage your loved one to do the same. Make sure you both eat well and get enough rest. Eating a healthy diet is essential for a recovering alcoholic. Eating foods with a low glycemic index, such as fruits and vegetables, can help to keep blood sugar levels stable and minimize alcohol cravings. Drinking plenty of water can also help flush toxins from the body and reduce food cravings.
It is important to encourage your loved one to talk to someone. If they can work out what's bothering them, they have a better chance of dealing with mood swings or low mood. Therapy can be an effective technique for managing mood swings in recovery as it can help someone better understand their thoughts and feelings. Mental health experts such as psychologists, counselors, and addiction specialists can provide individualized treatment plans that will help manage symptoms and promote long-term recovery. Support groups can also be a valuable resource for individuals in recovery by providing a source of social support and accountability.
Exercise, meditation, and spending time with friends are all great ways to help regulate emotions and reduce stress. Additionally, it may be beneficial for someone in recovery to establish daily routines as this will help structure the day and provide a sense of comfort.
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Help them find new coping mechanisms
Alcoholism is a complex issue and recovery is a lifelong process that dramatically changes things for the person in recovery on a daily basis. Alcohol use floods the brain with dopamine, and over time the brain slows down its production of this "feel-good" enzyme, resulting in intense cravings for more alcohol. This means that even after physical cravings for alcohol subside, the mental obsession rarely does.
Recovering alcoholics need to find new coping mechanisms to replace their old habit of turning to alcohol. They need to find a way to restore their brain's natural balance with healthful, productive activities. This can be extremely challenging as alcohol is the most popular form of drug consumption in society, and its prevalence in everyday life means the temptation to drink is extremely high.
Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) can be an effective treatment for alcohol problems. It can take place one-on-one with a therapist or in small groups. This form of therapy focuses on identifying the feelings and situations that contribute to heavy drinking and managing stress that can lead to a return to drinking. The goal is to change the thought processes that lead to alcohol misuse and to develop the skills necessary to cope with everyday situations that might trigger alcohol misuse.
Group therapy is another important part of treatment. Patients who participate in groups tend to feel less isolated and experience better social support. Support groups like Al-Anon, Alcoholics Anonymous (AA), or AA/NAA can help people cope with the issues surrounding addiction and brace themselves for personality changes after getting sober.
There are also some general strategies that can help a recovering alcoholic cope with life's challenges. These include avoiding triggers and stressful situations, removing addictive substances from the home, and avoiding social gatherings where substance abuse will occur. It is also important to build a support network of sober friends and focus on new aspects of life.
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Look after yourself
It is important to look after yourself while supporting a loved one through recovery. Recovery is a lifelong process that can be challenging, and it is normal to experience a mix of thoughts and emotions as a partner of someone newly in recovery. Patience and stamina are required, and it is important to prepare yourself for the road ahead.
Firstly, it is crucial to set clear boundaries and focus on your own needs. This is a good time to reflect on any enabling behaviours that may have contributed to the addiction and to stop them. For example, lying to cover up your loved one's addiction, taking on extra tasks, or avoiding conflict.
Self-care is essential. Ensure you are eating well, staying hydrated, and getting enough rest. Meditation can help to manage stress and negative emotions. It is also beneficial to engage in activities and pastimes you once enjoyed and spend time together in calm, pleasant activities.
Additionally, seek support for yourself. Find a support group or recovery program, either online or in-person, to connect with others who understand what you are going through. It can be helpful to have a good understanding of the various support groups available, such as Al-Anon meetings, individual therapy, or counselling. Remember, your own well-being is important, and you should not put your life on hold during your loved one's recovery journey.
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Frequently asked questions
Some common side effects of early recovery include anxiety, depression, angry outbursts, guilt, shame, and low self-esteem. Extreme mood swings are also common. It is important to note that recovery is a lifelong process that will change the individual's goals, expectations, behaviour, and even personality.
Firstly, it is important to understand that relapse may be a part of the recovery process. You can help by establishing open lines of communication and creating a plan of action. Creating a sober living space is extremely helpful in early recovery. It is also beneficial to encourage the individual to talk to someone about their feelings and to engage in stress relief techniques such as meditation.
It is important to remember that recovery from alcohol use disorder is a long journey that involves challenges. You should also be aware that poor boundaries are often formed during active addiction and may continue into the recovery process. Therefore, it is crucial to focus on your own needs and set clear boundaries. Additionally, be prepared for some setbacks and understand that the recovery process is not always linear.
