Coping With Alcoholism: Supporting Your Loved One's Recovery Journey

Alcohol misuse can be challenging for both the individual and their loved ones. It is important to remember that you are not alone in this situation and that there are steps you can take to support your loved one and cope with their alcoholism. This may include seeking professional help, attending support groups, and learning more about the disease of addiction. It is also crucial to focus on your own needs and well-being during this difficult time.

Understand the signs of alcohol misuse

Alcohol use disorder is a persistent medical illness characterised by the compulsive use of alcohol despite the negative consequences for one's brain, body, and overall life. It is important to understand the signs of alcohol misuse to help your loved one address their drinking problem.

Firstly, it is important to recognise that there is no specific amount of alcohol that indicates a person has an alcohol use disorder. Instead, it is defined by how drinking affects your loved one's life. For example, if your loved one is regularly neglecting their responsibilities at home, work, or school because of drinking or recovering from drinking, this could be a sign of a drinking problem. Other signs include frequently binge drinking or drinking more than intended, lying about or trying to cover up alcohol consumption, and blacking out or being unable to remember what they said or did while drinking.

Additionally, if your loved one is drinking to cope with stress, deal with difficulties, or avoid negative feelings, this could indicate a problem. Alcohol misuse can cause stress and worry for friends and family, and it can be challenging to communicate your concerns effectively. It is important to talk about your worries when the person is sober and express how you feel, for example, "I am concerned about your drinking". Providing facts and information about the effects of alcohol can also be helpful.

Furthermore, be prepared for relapses but do not blame yourself. Help your loved one plan how to avoid triggers, deal with cravings, and cope in social situations with pressure to drink. Encourage them to find healthier ways to cope with stress and rebound from setbacks without relying on alcohol. Offer concrete next steps for treatment, such as local Alcoholics Anonymous meetings, counsellors, or treatment facilities, and seek support for yourself as well through friends, family, or counselling groups.

Help them find healthier coping mechanisms

Alcohol use disorder (AUD) or alcoholism is a difficult condition to overcome. It is characterised by unhealthy drinking patterns and a neurological dependence on alcohol. People with AUD may be unable to control their drinking, often think about alcohol use, and continue to drink even when it impacts their daily life. It is important to understand that a person with AUD may feel ashamed of their drinking habits and may try to hide them. They may also lose interest in activities they once enjoyed, hobbies they cultivated, and may stay away from friends, family, and social gatherings.

If your loved one is struggling with AUD, it is important to help them seek treatment and support them on their path to recovery. Here are some ways to help them find healthier coping mechanisms:

• Identify triggers and learn how to avoid them: This is an important part of relapse prevention. Suggest strategies such as removing alcohol from their home, avoiding events or places associated with alcohol, and removing unsupportive people who encourage them to drink from their network.
• Encourage self-care: Encourage your loved one to practice self-care by getting enough sleep, eating well, exercising regularly, meditating, and engaging in positive self-talk. These activities can help reduce stress and prevent relapse.
• Build a support network: Help your loved one build a solid support system, as their motivation for recovery often hinges on the encouragement and support they receive from others. Encourage them to join non-drinking activities, mutual-help groups, and make amends with those who have supported them.
• Encourage healthier coping mechanisms: Help your loved one address the underlying problems that led them to drinking. Encourage them to find healthier ways to cope with stress and rebound from setbacks without relying on alcohol. Suggest activities such as exercising, confiding in others, meditating, or adopting other relaxation practices.
• Prepare for relapses: Understand that relapses are common in recovery and may be a part of your loved one's journey. Help them plan how to avoid triggers, deal with cravings, and cope in social situations with pressure to drink. Encourage them to distract themselves when cravings hit, such as by calling someone, going for a walk, or riding out the urge.
• Seek professional treatment: Alcohol dependence can lead to serious consequences such as health problems, legal issues, and difficulties at work or school. Encourage your loved one to seek treatment early on to improve their chances of success. Cognitive-behavioural therapy, motivational enhancement therapy, and contingency management approaches are some effective treatment options.

Prepare for relapses

It is important to prepare for relapses when a loved one is dealing with alcoholism. Relapses are common in recovery, and it is not your fault if they occur. You should not blame yourself or your loved one if a relapse occurs. Instead, focus on the fact that substance use disorder is a disease that changes the brain. Understand that your loved one is likely already feeling a lot of shame, and adding to it will not be helpful.

To prepare for relapses, help your loved one plan how they will avoid triggers to drink, deal with alcohol cravings, and cope in social situations where there is pressure to drink. You can help them find ways to distract themselves when cravings hit—for example, by calling someone, going for a walk, or riding out the urge. However, remember that they are ultimately responsible for their sobriety.

Create an environment that is conducive to sobriety by removing alcohol-related items from your home, encouraging your loved one to try out new hobbies and activities, and being there to listen when they are experiencing cravings or difficult moments. Understand that triggers can rear their ugly heads at any moment and be aware of the warning signs of an oncoming relapse, such as withdrawing from social interactions or experiencing alcohol withdrawal symptoms.

If a relapse occurs, express your feelings to your loved one in a way that doesn't cast blame. For example, instead of saying, "How could you do this to me?" try saying, "I feel sad and frustrated, and I'm worried about your life and our family." Remind your loved one of the incredible progress they have made and make sure they don't let one minor blip undo everything they have achieved. Help them identify the reasons that led to the relapse, develop healthy coping skills, and create a detailed relapse prevention plan for moving forward.

Seek support for yourself

Alcohol misuse often doesn't just affect the person drinking, but also those around them. It can be stressful, exhausting, draining, and terrifying to witness a loved one's alcohol misuse. It is important to seek support for yourself, and there are many ways to do so.

Firstly, it is important to remember that you cannot fix, cure, or control a person who has problems related to alcohol use. Alcohol use disorder is a treatable, persistent medical illness, and it is not your job to solve it. Instead, focus on your own needs and well-being. This will increase your ability to help your loved one and yourself.

Secondly, educate yourself on the effects of alcohol and the signs of alcohol misuse. This can help you feel more in control and better equipped to handle the situation. It will also help you communicate your concerns more effectively to your loved one.

Thirdly, seek emotional support from friends, family, community, or counselling groups. Organisations like Al-Anon, Nar-Anon, and Alateen have networks to support those dealing with a loved one's heavy drinking. Talking to a trusted friend, counsellor, or spiritual leader can also provide you with valuable support and guidance.

Finally, consider seeking professional help. Consult a professional drug and alcohol interventionist to create a plan for your loved one's recovery and address the impact of their addiction on you and your family. Professional help can also include therapy, counselling, and support groups. These resources can provide you with valuable tools to cope with your loved one's addiction and learn more about the disease of addiction.

Don't try to fix, cure or control them

It is important to remember that you didn't cause your loved one's alcoholism, you cannot control it, and you cannot cure it. Trying to fix, cure, or control your loved one's drinking will only lead to frustration and burnout for yourself. Here are some reasons why:

You didn't cause it

Alcoholism is a complex disease that is influenced by a combination of genetic, environmental, and lifestyle factors. It is not your fault if your loved one develops an alcohol use disorder. Feeling responsible for their drinking will only lead to unnecessary guilt and shame. Instead, focus on what you can control: your own actions and reactions.

You can't control it

You cannot force your loved one to stop drinking or control their behaviour. Trying to do so will only lead to power struggles and resentment. It is important to respect your loved one's autonomy and allow them to make their own choices, even if you don't agree with them. This can be difficult, especially if you are concerned about their health and safety. But it is important to remember that you are not responsible for their actions.

You can't cure it

Recovery from alcoholism is a complex process that requires professional treatment and personal commitment. You cannot cure your loved one's alcoholism, no matter how much you may want to. Trying to do so can be exhausting and frustrating.

Frequently asked questions