Coping With Alcoholic Abuse: Strategies For Support

Alcohol abuse can be a difficult issue to navigate, especially when it involves a loved one. It can be emotionally painful to witness a partner, family member, or friend fall victim to alcohol abuse, and the stress and worry about their health and well-being can take a toll. It is important to remember that abuse is never acceptable, and you have the choice to not tolerate it. Alcohol use disorder (AUD) is a diagnosable medical condition that can be mild, moderate, or severe, and it is characterized by compulsive alcohol use despite negative consequences. If you are coping with abuse by an alcoholic loved one, there are several steps you can take, including seeking professional help, attending support groups, and focusing on self-care.

Seek professional help and support groups

Dealing with an alcoholic's drinking problem can be emotionally draining and take a toll on your health and well-being. It is important to have people you can talk to openly and honestly about what you are going through. Seeking professional help and support groups can be a good way to cope with abuse by an alcoholic loved one.

Seeking Professional Help

Professional help is recommended through support groups, therapy, counselling, and intervention. A consultation with a professional drug and alcohol interventionist is the first step towards creating a plan for you and your family members or partner's recovery from alcohol addiction. Intervention is highly effective and can provide an accurate assessment of the severity of the alcohol problem while addressing its effect on the family.

Support Groups

Support groups can be a tremendous source of comfort and help you develop new tools for coping. Al-Anon is a free peer support group for families dealing with a loved one's alcohol abuse. Alcoholics Anonymous, Al-Anon Family Groups, and Alateen are some other support groups that can help. SAMHSA's National Helpline is a free, 24-hour-a-day, 365-day-a-year, confidential information service in English and Spanish for individuals and family members facing mental and/or substance use disorders.

Therapy and Counselling

Therapy and counselling can help you cope with your loved one's addiction and learn more about the disease of addiction. Individual therapy or counselling can help you focus on your own needs, which is of utmost importance when helping a loved one recover from unhealthy alcohol use.

Protect yourself and your children

Protecting yourself and your children should be a priority when dealing with an alcoholic loved one. Alcohol abuse can lead to unacceptable behaviour, such as hurtful or negative comments, which can result in lasting damage to a child's psyche.

Firstly, do not tolerate any form of abuse, be it towards yourself or your children. Keep your children away from the alcoholic if they do not respect your boundaries. Children growing up in a household where alcohol abuse is prevalent can suffer long-term harm. Ensure your children are protected from witnessing or experiencing any form of abuse.

Secondly, educate your children about alcohol abuse. Explain the dangers and the potential consequences of drinking alcohol, especially if they are teenagers. Monitor their activities, know their friends, and keep alcohol locked away or out of the house. Talk to your children about any underlying issues they may be facing, and encourage them to be open about their feelings.

Thirdly, seek professional help. Contact support groups, therapists, or counsellors to help you and your children cope with the situation. There are support groups specifically for families and partners of alcoholics, such as Al-Anon, where you can receive guidance and support from people who understand your struggles.

Lastly, remember that your well-being is important. Focus on your own needs and take care of your mental health. Coping with an alcoholic loved one can be emotionally draining, and it is crucial to ensure you are in a good place to provide support and care for your children.

Help them address underlying issues

Alcohol abuse can be a result of several factors, and it is important to address the underlying issues that are causing your loved one to turn to alcohol. Firstly, it is crucial to understand that alcohol abuse is a serious medical condition that requires professional help. While it may be a difficult conversation, encourage your loved one to open up about the reasons behind their drinking. Are they stressed, anxious, lonely, or bored? Help them identify the triggers and work together to address these issues.

For instance, if your loved one drinks to relieve stress, suggest healthier coping mechanisms such as exercise, meditation, or therapy. If they drink due to loneliness, encourage social activities and hobbies that provide a sense of community and support, such as team sports or support groups. If they are struggling with mental health issues, accompany them to therapy or support groups specifically designed to address co-occurring disorders, as treating mental health issues alongside alcohol abuse is crucial.

Additionally, consider staging an intervention with family or friends. This can be an effective way to show your loved one that you care and provide them with a support system. However, remember that an intervention should come from a place of caring, not accusation or anger. It may take multiple attempts for your loved one to acknowledge the problem, so be patient and persistent, and always come from a place of love and support.

Remember, the path to recovery is not linear, and setbacks are common. As you support your loved one, ensure you also practice self-care and seek support for yourself when needed.

Plan how to avoid triggers and cravings

It is important to help your loved one plan how to avoid triggers and cravings. Here are some ways to do this:

Firstly, it is important to identify the triggers and cravings. Track and analyse urges to drink for a couple of weeks. This will help to understand when and how these urges occur, what triggers them, and ways to avoid or control them.

Secondly, it is important to avoid these triggers. This may mean avoiding certain people, places, and situations that cue an urge to drink. In the home, keep little to no alcohol, and routinely check potential hiding places for alcohol. Socially, this may mean avoiding activities involving drinking.

Thirdly, it is important to develop strategies to cope with cravings. This may include distracting oneself by calling someone, going for a walk, or riding out the urge. Mindfulness exercises can help to anchor awareness in the present moment and soothe oneself until the craving passes. One can also challenge the thought that drives the urge, by stopping it, analysing the error in it, and replacing it. For example, one may think: "It couldn't hurt to have one little drink. WAIT a minute—what am I thinking? One could hurt, as I've seen 'just one' lead to lots more. I am sticking with my choice not to drink."

Finally, it is important to seek professional help. Professional help is recommended through support groups, therapy, counselling, and intervention.

Don't enable or shield them from consequences

Alcohol use disorder, or alcoholism, is a common medical condition. People with this condition are unable to stop drinking, even if their alcohol use upends their lives and the lives of those around them. Alcoholism can be mild, moderate, or severe, and it can have a significant impact on the drinker's life and the lives of their loved ones.

Enabling an alcoholic loved one differs from helping them in that it involves shielding them from the consequences of their drinking. For example, you might hide or dump bottles, take over their responsibilities, or offer financial assistance when they lose their job or get into legal trouble because of their drinking. While it might feel like you are helping your loved one by shielding them from these consequences, you could actually be delaying their decision to get help and take responsibility for their behaviour.

Instead of enabling your loved one, consider helping them address the underlying problems that led to their drinking. For example, if they drank due to boredom, anxiety, or loneliness, encourage them to find healthier ways of coping with these issues without relying on alcohol. Help them plan how they can avoid triggers, deal with cravings, and cope in social situations where there is pressure to drink. You can suggest distractions such as calling someone, going for a walk, or riding out the urge. However, remember that while you can provide support, your loved one is ultimately responsible for their sobriety.

In addition to helping your loved one address their drinking, it is important to take care of yourself. Dealing with an alcoholic's drinking problem can be emotionally draining and take a toll on your health and well-being. Make sure to seek support for yourself, whether from a professional or a support group for loved ones of alcoholics.

If you are concerned about a teen's drinking, it is important to remain calm when confronting them and only do so when everyone is sober. Explain your concerns in a supportive and compassionate manner, without judgement or shame. Monitor their activities, remove alcohol from your home, and set rules and consequences. Encourage other interests and social activities that can help discourage alcohol use, such as team sports or after-school clubs.

Frequently asked questions