Vivian Marlowe
Alcohol relapse is when a person who has received alcohol addiction treatment returns to drinking after a period of sobriety. Relapses are common, with up to 90% of people in recovery relapsing at least once, and they can be triggered by various factors, including underlying mental health issues, emotional trauma, stress, or social pressures. It is important to remember that relapse is not a sign of failure and that the individual experiencing it is likely already feeling a lot of shame and guilt. As a supporter, it is crucial to remain compassionate and non-judgmental, focusing on encouraging and motivating your loved one to get back on track.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Be supportive | Help them feel comfortable enough to seek help themselves |
| Be compassionate | Understand that addiction changes the brain |
| Avoid shaming | Shame and guilt can be as toxic as the substance |
| Be encouraging | Help them stay motivated by encouraging self-belief |
| Be proactive | Know their warning signs |
| Be positive | Remind them of their progress |
| Be understanding | Recognise that relapse is common |
| Be respectful | Understand that the individual is responsible for their recovery |
| Be constructive | Help them learn from their mistakes |
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What You'll Learn
Be supportive, non-judgmental, and compassionate
It is completely normal to feel disappointed, angry, or frustrated when a loved one relapses. However, it is important to remember that relapse is a common part of addiction recovery. It is also important to remember that addiction is not a simple matter of willpower. Substance abuse changes the brain, and relapse can be triggered by underlying mental health issues, emotional issues, or physical health issues.
When a loved one relapses, it is crucial to be supportive, non-judgmental, and compassionate. This means recognizing that your loved one is likely already feeling a lot of shame and guilt. Adding to those feelings by expressing anger or blame can be harmful. Instead, try to express your love and support, and let them know that you are there for them. It may be helpful to say something like, "I know this is a difficult time, and I want you to know that I am here for you. Let's work on getting you back on track."
You can also encourage your loved one to see their relapse as an opportunity to learn and grow. Ask them questions to help them turn their challenge into a learning experience. For example, you could ask, "What do you think triggered this relapse?" or "What can we do differently next time?" Helping your loved one to stay in the present moment and focus on their short-term goals can also be beneficial. This could be as simple as giving them a hug, cooking them a meal, or going for a walk together.
In addition to emotional support, you can also provide practical support by helping your loved one to access resources and tools for addiction treatment. This may include encouraging them to attend therapy or support groups, or to seek out alternative treatments such as meditation or mindfulness-based therapies. It is also important to remember to take care of yourself during this time. This may include setting healthy boundaries and seeking support from a therapist or support group.
Remember, relapse is a setback, but it is not a failure. With your support and encouragement, your loved one can use this experience to strengthen their recovery journey.
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Remind them that relapse is common and they're not alone
Reminding someone that relapse is common and that they are not alone is an important step in helping them recover from alcohol relapse. It is natural to feel upset, frustrated, angry, or disappointed when someone you know relapses. However, it is important to remember that relapse is a common part of addiction recovery. Research shows that up to 90% of people in alcohol recovery relapse at least once, and 40 to 60% of those in recovery experience some form of relapse. This means that your loved one is not alone in their struggle.
It is crucial to avoid adding to their feelings of shame and guilt, as these emotions can be just as toxic as the substance itself. Instead, remind them that relapse is an opportunity to learn and strengthen their recovery journey. Encourage them to view it as a chance to identify triggers and develop stronger coping strategies. You can say something like, "This is an opportunity to learn more about your triggers and develop a stronger relapse prevention plan."
It is also important to remind them of the progress they have made and to focus on the positive steps they can take moving forward. You can say things like, "I know this is a setback, but you have made incredible progress, and we can use what you learned before to get back on track." Help them stay motivated by encouraging self-belief and reminding them about what has worked well for them in the past. Offer specific examples of their past successes and how they can build on those.
In addition to reminding them that relapse is common and they are not alone, it is crucial to provide ongoing support and encouragement. Let them know that you are there for them and that they are not alone in their recovery journey. Offer to accompany them to support groups or therapy sessions, and help them identify and avoid triggers. It is also important to take care of your own wellbeing during this process. Set healthy boundaries and remember that you cannot control their behaviour, but you can provide love and support.
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Encourage them to seek treatment and support
It is important to remember that relapse is a common part of addiction recovery. Research shows that up to 90% of people in alcohol recovery relapse at least once before taking control of their addiction. Therefore, it is crucial to encourage your loved one to seek treatment and support without adding to any shame they may already be feeling.
Firstly, it is important to be supportive and non-judgmental. Addiction is a disease that changes the brain, and it is not just a matter of willpower. Your loved one is likely already feeling a lot of shame and guilt, so it is crucial to avoid adding to these negative emotions. Instead, express your love and support, and let them know that you are there for them.
Secondly, encourage your loved one to view the relapse as an opportunity to learn and grow. Help them to identify any triggers that may have contributed to the relapse and work together to develop a stronger relapse prevention plan. This may include increasing individual therapy sessions, attending recovery support groups, or participating in an outpatient program.
Thirdly, remind your loved one of their progress and encourage them to stay motivated. Help them to believe in themselves and their ability to make a change. This may involve reminding them of their short-term goals, encouraging them to build a positive self-image, and setting future goals that are unrelated to their alcohol use.
Finally, encourage your loved one to seek professional help if needed. This may include returning to drug rehab or reaching out to a 24-hour alcohol and drug information/counselling service. It is important to remember that your loved one is ultimately responsible for accepting support and taking action, but you can provide encouragement and support along the way.
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Help them identify triggers and develop coping strategies
It is important to remember that addiction is not just physical dependence, but a multifaceted condition with various underlying emotional and psychological causes and triggers. Relapses are common and can be triggered by the smallest occurrence or barrier. It is therefore crucial to help your loved one identify their triggers and develop strategies to cope with them.
Firstly, it is important to understand the circumstances that may promote a relapse. These can include situations, places, or people that remind the person of drinking or drug use, such as social pressures, personal setbacks, or poor physical health. Understanding these triggers can help you identify warning signs and work through them early.
Next, encourage your loved one to reframe the way they see these triggers and situations. Help them learn from their mistakes and set future goals, including goals unrelated to their alcohol use. Encourage them to build a positive self-image by engaging in meaningful activities that bring a sense of pride and have a positive impact on the community, such as joining a community group or taking up a hobby.
Additionally, support your loved one in developing self-care routines for diet, exercise, and rest. Encourage them to seek psychological help, such as psychotherapy or cognitive behavioural therapy, and explore alternative holistic approaches like meditation, mindfulness, or yoga.
Finally, remember that relapse can be an opportunity for learning and strengthening their recovery journey. Help your loved one stay motivated by encouraging self-belief, reminding them of their past successes, and staying positive about their ability to get back on track. Offer a hug, a home-cooked meal, or a leisurely walk to help them stay in the present moment.
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Focus on the present and future, not the past
It is important to remember that relapse is a common part of the recovery process. It is natural to feel disappointed, angry, or frustrated, but these emotions can be harmful to the person relapsing. They are likely already feeling a lot of shame and guilt, and adding to that will do no good. Instead, recognise the relapse as a small setback and focus on the present and future.
The first step is to encourage your loved one to seek help. Let them know that you want to be the first person they call when they are ready to re-engage with treatment and get back on track. Offer to help them find the right treatment, whether that means returning to rehab or increasing individual therapy sessions, attending recovery support groups, or joining an outpatient program. Remember that the recovery process can be long and challenging, and your loved one will need your support.
Focusing on the present and future means helping your loved one stay in the present moment. This could be as simple as offering a hug, a home-cooked meal, or a leisurely walk. Ask them, "What can I do to help you feel good at this moment?" Help them to reframe the way they see events and encourage them to learn from their mistakes. Remind them about what has worked well for them in the past and be positive about them getting back on track. If you show them that you believe they can make a change, it will help them believe in themselves.
Encourage your loved one to set future goals, both short-term and long-term. These goals should include ones unrelated to their alcohol use, such as doing things they like and that have a positive impact on the community. This could be joining a community sporting group, a choir, or a special interest group. Also, encourage them to build a positive self-image by doing meaningful activities and finding strategies that work for them, such as meditation, mindfulness-based therapies, or yoga.
Finally, remember to take care of yourself during this process. Set healthy boundaries and priorities your own wellbeing. It is important to recognise your own emotions and not judge them. You may also want to consider seeking support for yourself, whether through therapy, journaling, or another outlet.
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Frequently asked questions
It is important to remember that a relapse does not mean that the person has failed or that their treatment hasn't worked. It is common for people recovering from addiction to relapse at least once before taking control of their addiction. You should also remember to take care of your own wellbeing.
It is important to be supportive and kind. You should avoid aggression, hostility, and enabling behaviours. You can ask them how you can help and encourage them to seek treatment or support. It is also important to understand that addiction is a disease and not a sign of weakness or failure.
You can offer to help them find a treatment program, provider, or meeting. You can also encourage them to get in touch with a drug or alcohol service and be open about the difficulties they are facing. You can also help them identify their triggers and personal relationships with alcohol to help prevent future relapses.
You should avoid saying anything that could shame or blame them for their relapse. You should also avoid lecturing or giving unsolicited advice. Instead, try to listen and be engaged in what they have to say.
