Mason Delacroix
Alcohol addiction is a chronic relapsing disease that can have a significant impact on the individual as well as their family, particularly children. When a parent is preoccupied with maintaining their dependency on alcohol, they often fail to meet their child's basic needs, including nutrition, safety, education, structure, consistency, affection, and healthcare. This can lead to cognitive, behavioural, psychosocial, and emotional consequences for the child, including anxiety, depression, antisocial behaviour, and relationship difficulties. It is important to remember that alcohol addiction is a disease that requires professional treatment. If you are concerned about a child living with an alcoholic parent, it is crucial to seek help from a trusted adult or professional support services. Additionally, encouraging the parent to seek treatment can aid not only the individual but also help the family heal from the trauma caused by the addiction.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| If you are a child of an alcoholic parent | Talk to a trusted adult, such as a teacher, school counsellor, doctor, therapist, or relative. |
| If you are a child of an alcoholic parent | Find a support group, such as Al-Anon/Alateen. |
| If you are a child of an alcoholic parent | Know that it's not your fault and that you cannot cause a parent's substance problem. |
| If you are a child of an alcoholic parent | Know and name your emotions. |
| If you are a child of an alcoholic parent | Find a safe place. |
| If you are a parent of an alcoholic child | Understand that alcoholism is a disease that requires professional treatment. |
| If you are a parent of an alcoholic child | Do not enable your child's drinking. |
| If you are a parent of an alcoholic child | Hold your child accountable and encourage them to seek treatment. |
| If you are a parent of an alcoholic child | Understand the treatment process, including detox, outpatient programs, and family therapy. |
| If you are a parent of an alcoholic child | Help your child find the treatment they need. |
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What You'll Learn
Recognise the signs of alcoholism in your child
Recognising the signs of alcoholism in your child can be challenging, especially when it is your own. However, there are several warning signs that may suggest your child's drinking has gotten out of control. Alcohol addiction is a chronic relapsing disease that causes lasting brain changes, making it hard for someone to stop drinking. It is important to remember that only doctors or licensed addiction professionals can diagnose someone with Alcohol Use Disorder (AUD).
One of the signs of teenage alcoholism is the appearance of intoxication symptoms. If your child comes home smelling of alcohol, with an unsteady walk or balance, and slurring their speech, it may be indicative of a drinking problem. Alcoholics, especially younger ones, tend to keep their drinking a secret and may use hiding places in their room to stash alcohol. Parents may discover these hiding places or notice missing bottles or cans of alcohol.
Behavioural changes can also be an indication. This could include lateness, poor attendance, and low grades at school, as well as a change in friendships and increased secrecy over mobile devices and social media accounts. Differences in hygiene, sleep patterns, eating habits, mood, and attitude could also be red flags. Mental health issues such as depression and anxiety may become apparent as the addiction progresses.
Additionally, if your child is drinking more or for longer periods than intended, expressing a desire to cut down but being unable to do so, or spending most of their time drinking or recovering from the effects of alcohol, it may be a sign of alcoholism. Alcoholism can also lead to family, work, or relationship problems.
If you recognise multiple signs of alcoholism in your child, it is important to approach the conversation with empathy and encouragement. Remember that it is not easy for someone to admit they have a problem, and confrontations are not always the best approach. Offering support and expressing your concerns directly can help encourage your child to start the healing process.
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Understand the impact on your children
Alcohol addiction is a chronic, relapsing disease that causes lasting brain changes, making it very hard for someone to stop drinking. It is a medical disorder characterised by an inability to control alcohol use despite negative consequences. Alcohol problems and addictions are called substance use disorders (SUD) or alcohol use disorders (AUD).
When a parent has an alcohol addiction, it can have a significant impact on their children. Children in these situations have to do the best they can to cope and survive. They may experience a wide range of cognitive, behavioural, psychosocial, and emotional consequences. They are regularly exposed to chaos, uncertainty, disorganisation, emotional and/or physical neglect, instability, arguments, marital problems, and more. As a result, they may experience or exhibit anxiety, depression, antisocial behaviour, relationship difficulties, behavioural issues, loneliness, guilt, anger issues, and an inability to trust.
Children of alcoholic parents are four times more likely to engage in excessive drinking at some point in their lives. This can be attributed to genetic factors or the normalisation of unhealthy drinking habits in their family. They may also struggle with a negative self-image, low self-esteem, shame, and an inability to express emotions. The social acceptability of alcohol makes it easy for some to develop an addiction or dependency.
If you are a child living with an alcoholic parent, it is important to remember that it is not your fault. You can seek support from a trusted adult, such as a teacher, school counsellor, doctor, therapist, or relative. You can also find support groups or hotlines, such as Al-Anon/Alateen, that can provide help and resources. It is important to find safe places and build good emotional habits.
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Seek professional help and treatment
If you are a parent or guardian struggling with alcohol addiction and are seeking help for yourself, it is important to remember that alcoholism is a disease that requires professional treatment. It is not a failure on your part or a reflection of your parenting skills. Millions of people deal with addiction to alcohol, and the first step towards recovery is recognizing the problem and seeking help.
Seeking Professional Help and Treatment:
- Understanding the Problem: Alcohol addiction, or Alcohol Use Disorder (AUD), is a chronic disease characterized by an inability to stop or control alcohol consumption despite negative consequences. It causes lasting brain changes, making it difficult for individuals to quit on their own. Understanding the medical nature of AUD is crucial for seeking appropriate treatment.
- Detoxification Programs: The first step in treating alcoholism often involves enrolling in a detoxification program. Detoxing from alcohol can be dangerous due to potential withdrawal symptoms, so it is essential to do this under the supervision of medical and psychological professionals in a residential setting.
- Inpatient and Outpatient Treatment: After completing a detoxification program, the next step is to engage in further treatment. Inpatient treatment involves residing in a facility and receiving 24-hour care, while outpatient programs allow individuals to attend treatment sessions during the day and return home at night.
- Sober Living Houses: Transitioning to a sober living house before returning home can be beneficial. These houses provide a safe and comfortable environment where residents are all in recovery from addiction, learning to live a sober life and developing healthy habits.
- Family Therapy: Family therapy is an important aspect of treatment. It allows family members to attend therapy sessions together, fostering healthier communication and helping each member understand their role in supporting the recovery process. Addressing the impact of AUD on the family unit is crucial for long-term success.
- Support Groups: Support groups such as Al-Anon and Alateen offer valuable resources and a community of people going through similar struggles. These groups provide emotional support, guidance, and a sense of belonging, which can be crucial during recovery.
- Professional Counseling: Online or in-person counseling services, such as BetterHelp, can provide additional support and guidance. Counseling can help individuals and families cope with the emotional, behavioral, and cognitive consequences of AUD and develop strategies to move forward.
- National Helplines: Various national helplines, such as the SAMHSA National Helpline (1-800-662-HELP) in the United States, offer free and confidential treatment referrals, information, and support for individuals and families facing AUD and substance use disorders. These helplines can connect you to local treatment facilities, support groups, and community resources.
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Avoid enabling behaviours
Alcoholism is a chronic relapsing disease that causes lasting brain changes, making it very hard for someone to stop drinking. Alcohol use disorder (AUD) affects not only the user but also their family. When a parent is preoccupied with maintaining their dependency on alcohol, they often fail to meet their child's basic needs, including nutrition, safety, education, structure, consistency, affection, and healthcare. This can lead to chaos and uncertainty in the household.
Children with alcoholic parents are four times as likely to engage in excessive drinking at some point in their lives. They can experience loneliness, depression, anxiety, guilt, anger issues, and an inability to trust. They may also develop a negative self-image and struggle with confidence, social comparison, positive and/or negative feedback, boundaries, self-doubt, and accepting help.
If you are a friend or relative of a child whose parent is an alcoholic, there are some things you can do to help:
- Encourage the child to talk about their feelings and let them know it's not their fault.
- Help them find a support group, such as Al-Anon/Alateen, or suggest a therapist.
- If the child feels unsafe, help them find a safe place to stay, such as a friend's or relative's house.
If you are the child of an alcoholic parent, it's important to remember that you didn't cause the problem and you can't cure it. You can, however, take care of yourself by communicating your feelings, making healthy choices, and celebrating yourself. Here are some other things you can do:
- Find a safe place. If you feel unsafe at home, consider calling a helpline or seeking help from a trusted adult.
- Build good emotional habits. Learn to speak up, express your feelings, and show emotion to help you have good relationships in the future. Therapy can also help you build these habits.
- Stop the cycle. Know that you are at higher risk of developing a substance use problem, so be mindful of your own alcohol consumption and seek help if necessary.
Now, here are some ways to avoid enabling behaviours:
Enabling behaviours are those that rescue the alcoholic from facing the consequences of their actions and perpetuate their addiction. Here are some examples of enabling behaviours:
- Giving them money, which they may use to buy alcohol.
- Paying their bills or providing other financial assistance.
- Calling in sick to work for them when they are hungover.
- Making excuses for their behaviour or lying to others to cover for them.
- Bailing them out of jail.
To avoid enabling behaviours, it's important to set healthy boundaries. Let the alcoholic person know what those boundaries are and enforce them consistently. For example, you might say, "I will not lie to friends or family about your drinking anymore." Focus on concrete behaviours and consequences, such as the impact their drinking has on their children. Encourage the alcoholic person to seek professional help and offer your support, but remember that you are not responsible for their behaviour or their recovery. It's important to confront the behaviour and make tough choices, such as leaving the individual to deal with their problem alone, while still expressing your love and support for them.
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Find support for yourself and your children
Living with an alcoholic parent can have a profound impact on children. They may experience loneliness, depression, anxiety, guilt, anger issues, and an inability to trust. They are also at a higher risk of engaging in substance abuse and developing PTSD. It is important to remember that children in these situations are not at fault and that the effects of growing up with alcoholic parents can last through adulthood.
If you are a child living with an alcoholic parent, it is important to find support for yourself. Talk to a trusted adult or friend about what you are going through. You can also contact a helpline or find a support group, such as Al-Anon/Alateen, which offers a 24-hour hotline. Building good emotional habits is crucial; learn to express your emotions and speak up about how you feel. If you feel unsafe at home, seek help from a trusted adult or authority, and if necessary, call emergency services.
As a parent of a child with an alcohol problem, it is important to encourage your child to seek help and treatment. Alcohol addiction is a medical disorder that requires professional assistance. You can help your child by understanding the treatment process and supporting them through it. This may involve detox, inpatient or outpatient programs, family therapy, and sober living houses. It is also important to ensure that you are not enabling your child's addiction by making excuses or hiding their drinking. Instead, hold them accountable and encourage them to take responsibility for their condition.
For both children and parents, the impact of alcoholism can be significant. Seeking support and treatment is crucial for both parties. It is important to remember that alcoholism is a disease that requires professional treatment and that the person struggling with addiction needs to be held accountable and encouraged to seek help.
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Frequently asked questions
Children with alcoholic parents are four times as likely to engage in excessive drinking at some point in their lives. They can experience loneliness, depression, anxiety, guilt, anger issues, and an inability to trust. They are also at an increased risk of developing PTSD and substance use disorders.
It is important to remember that alcoholism is a disease and professional treatment is often required. The first step is often detoxification, followed by residential or outpatient treatment. Family therapy can also be beneficial. You can contact the National Helpline for Mental Health, Drug, and Alcohol Issues for more information or referrals to local treatment facilities.
It is important to let the child know that they are not to blame for their parent's substance use. Encourage them to express their emotions and seek support from trusted adults or youth support groups such as Alateen. Help them understand their role in the situation by reciting and remembering the following phrases: "I didn't cause it. I can't cure it. I can't control it. I can help take care of myself by communicating my feelings, making healthy choices, and celebrating me."
