Mason Delacroix
Alcohol abuse and addiction, also known as alcohol use disorder (AUD), is a treatable, persistent medical illness characterised by the compulsive use of alcohol despite negative consequences. AUD affects not only the person drinking but also their families and loved ones. It can be challenging to deal with a loved one's alcohol abuse, and it can trigger various distressing emotions. However, there are ways to support your loved one while also protecting your own well-being. It is important to remain calm and compassionate when confronting your loved one and to express your concerns from a place of love. Educating yourself about AUD and treatment options can help you provide information and support to your loved one, and encourage them to seek professional help.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Physical signs | Bloodshot eyes, alcohol on their breath, sleeping more than usual or appearing tired, and/or an unsteady gait |
| Behavioral changes | Frequently angry, belligerent, or moody for no apparent reason, appearing intoxicated, becoming less interested in relationships, work activities, or schoolwork, being unable to refuse an offer of alcohol, telling lies, or being secretive about their whereabouts |
| Alcohol use disorder (AUD) | AUD is a treatable, persistent medical illness characterized by the compulsive use of alcohol despite the negative consequences for your brain, body, and overall life |
| Enabling | Covering up or making excuses for the person with AUD, calling their workplace to inform them that they are sick when they are intoxicated or hungover, bailing them out of jail for a DUI, minimizing the impact of drinking on the family, avoiding the issue, pretending it does not exist |
| Support | Seek outside help from a sports coach, family doctor, therapist, or counselor, join support groups such as Al-Anon, SMART Recovery, or mutual-help groups, build a support network of friends and family, participate in aftercare programs, seek therapy or counseling to discuss and process your feelings |
| Communication | Talk to your loved one when they are sober, express your concerns from a place of love, be honest and compassionate, avoid lecturing, shaming, or threatening, do not take things personally, set clear boundaries, suggest treatment options, offer to give them a ride if needed |
| Treatment options | Inpatient treatment (residential rehabilitation), outpatient treatment, individual therapy, medications for AUD, rehab centers, mutual-help groups, safe and substance-free sober living environments, alumni events and programs |
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What You'll Learn
Recognise the signs of alcohol abuse
Recognising the signs of alcohol abuse can be difficult, especially when dealing with a loved one. Alcohol abuse and addiction, or "alcohol use disorder" (AUD), affect not only the person drinking but also their family and friends. Alcoholism is a progressive disease that worsens over time, and it's important to be able to identify the signs to help your loved one seek treatment.
One of the signs of AUD is craving alcoholic beverages and being unable to stop drinking, even when it negatively impacts health, safety, and personal relationships. People with AUD may continue drinking despite the harm it causes to their relationships and may neglect their responsibilities at home, work, or school. They may also engage in binge drinking or drink more than intended, lie about their drinking, or experience blackouts where they can't remember their actions while intoxicated.
Another sign is spending a significant amount of time obtaining, consuming, or recovering from alcohol. This includes repeatedly trying and failing to reduce their alcohol intake and giving up important social, work, or recreational activities due to drinking. Using alcohol in physically hazardous situations or continuing to drink despite having a medical condition or mental disorder exacerbated by alcohol is also indicative of AUD.
People with AUD may also exhibit increased alcohol tolerance and experience withdrawal symptoms when they try to reduce their drinking. They may also deny or hide the extent of their drinking from others. It's important to remember that AUD is a medical condition and that the person struggling with it may need professional help and support to recover.
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Seek support from friends, family, and professionals
Dealing with a loved one's alcohol abuse or alcoholism can be challenging and distressing. It is important to remember that you are not alone in this situation and that support is available.
Firstly, it is crucial to recognise that you are not responsible for your loved one's recovery. While you can offer support and encouragement, the recovery process is ultimately their journey. It is important to set healthy boundaries and prioritise your own well-being. Consider seeking outside help from a therapist or counsellor to process your feelings and learn healthy coping strategies. Researching support groups such as Al-Anon, SMART Recovery, or local Alcoholics Anonymous meetings can provide valuable peer support and resources for dealing with a loved one's alcohol abuse.
Secondly, building a solid support network of trusted friends and family members can be beneficial. Be honest about what you are going through and communicate your needs. Involving your support system can help you feel less isolated and provide different perspectives or advice.
Thirdly, educating yourself about alcohol use disorders and treatment options can empower you to better understand your loved one's experience and make informed decisions. Learning about the disease model of addiction can help you avoid taking things personally and enable you to make good choices when caring for yourself and your loved one.
Finally, consider seeking professional help for your loved one. Therapy, counselling, and support groups can provide valuable guidance and tools for navigating alcohol misuse. Remember that treatment does not need to be voluntary to be effective, and there are legal avenues to explore if your loved one is resistant to seeking help.
Remember, dealing with a loved one's alcoholism can be emotionally draining, so prioritising your own self-care and support is crucial.
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Encourage healthy hobbies and social activities
When dealing with an alcoholic, it is important to encourage healthy hobbies and social activities. This can provide a sense of purpose, fill the time previously spent drinking, and offer healthy coping mechanisms for stress and other negative feelings.
Firstly, it is important to understand the benefits of community-based hobbies and social support. Recovery from alcohol dependency can be isolating, and having a support system is critical. Activities that involve other people provide a sense of belonging and an opportunity to build relationships with individuals who share similar interests. This support network can offer encouragement, understanding, and accountability, all of which are essential for staying on the path to recovery. Being part of a group that engages in healthy and constructive activities can expose individuals to positive peer influences. For example, team sports emphasize teamwork, dedication, and achieving common goals. These positive influences can encourage individuals in recovery to adopt similar values in their personal journey, reinforcing their commitment to sobriety.
Secondly, it is beneficial to explore new hobbies and interests. This is a vital aspect of alcohol recovery, providing emotional, physical, and social benefits that support the journey to sobriety. It is important to find activities that are enjoyable and align with recovery goals. Examples include hiking, cycling, yoga, painting, writing, music, and equine therapy. These creative hobbies act as powerful mediums for self-expression, which can be challenging for those in alcohol recovery. Additionally, physical activity can impact alcohol use by reducing cravings and urges. Aerobic exercise, in particular, has been shown to lower the likelihood of substance use.
Finally, it is crucial to understand the role of social interactions in maintaining sobriety. While some social interactions can help maintain abstinence and combat loneliness, others can be detrimental to recovery, especially those involving alcohol consumption. Therefore, it is important to build a strong social support network with individuals who value healthy lifestyles. Mutual-help groups, where individuals are dealing with similar issues, can provide essential emotional and social support. These groups complement professional treatment and help prevent relapse by offering encouragement and understanding.
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Understand the importance of setting boundaries
Alcohol abuse and addiction, also known as "alcohol use disorder" (AUD), is a complex medical disorder that affects not only the person drinking but also their families and loved ones. It is a progressive disease that tends to get worse over time until the person with the alcohol problem seeks help. It is important to remember that you did not cause their drinking, you cannot control it, and you cannot cure it.
Enabling behaviours, such as covering up or making excuses for the person with AUD, can prevent them from facing the natural consequences of their actions and may even bolster their denial of their problem. For example, if you help your loved one into bed after they have passed out in the yard, you feel the pain and the focus becomes your action of moving them rather than their drinking. Instead, it is important to set clear boundaries and encourage them to seek treatment.
Setting boundaries can help you maintain your peace while supporting your loved one's recovery. It is important to remember that your needs are just as important as anyone else's, and taking care of yourself does not mean that you don't care about your loved one. By setting boundaries, you can protect yourself from the negative impact of your loved one's drinking and reduce feelings of shame, fear, anger, and self-blame.
It can be difficult to step aside and allow your loved one to experience the consequences of their actions, but doing so can help them see the impact of their drinking and motivate them to seek help. It is also important to seek support for yourself during this process, whether through therapy, support groups, or trusted friends.
In addition to setting boundaries, there are other things you can do to support your loved one's recovery. This includes offering to help them seek treatment, encouraging healthy hobbies and social activities, and building a solid support network of non-drinking friends and mutual-help groups. Remember, recovery is a journey, and what helps in one moment may be different from the next, so it's important to have a variety of coping methods and strategies in your toolkit.
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Learn about alcohol use disorders
Alcohol abuse and addiction are commonly known as "alcohol use disorder" (AUD). AUD is a common, complex, and treatable medical condition with no cure, affecting millions of Americans. It is characterised by an impaired ability to stop or control alcohol use despite adverse social, occupational, or health consequences. AUD encompasses conditions like alcohol abuse, alcohol dependence, alcohol addiction, and alcoholism. It can be mild, moderate, or severe.
People with AUD continue to drink even when it negatively affects their health, safety, and personal relationships. They may drink despite the damage it does to their relationships or plan their life around their next drink. AUD causes physical issues like craving alcohol or experiencing withdrawal symptoms when not drinking. It also leads to changes in mood and behaviour, including drinking more than intended, spending a lot of time drinking or recovering from hangovers, neglecting responsibilities, lying about drinking habits, and continuing to drink despite relationship problems.
The development of AUD is influenced by various factors, including genetics, family history, mental health conditions, and trauma. Genetics account for approximately 60% of AUD risk, and parental drinking patterns can increase the likelihood of a child developing AUD. Additionally, psychiatric conditions like depression, PTSD, and ADHD are associated with an increased AUD risk. Childhood trauma is another significant factor contributing to AUD vulnerability.
While there is no one-size-fits-all treatment for AUD, evidence-based approaches such as behavioural therapies, mutual-support groups, and medications can effectively help individuals achieve and maintain recovery. Treatment options may include behavioural therapy and medication. Building a solid support network is crucial for long-term recovery, as encouragement and support from others can motivate individuals to recover and lead a sober life.
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Frequently asked questions
Recognise that Alcohol Use Disorder (AUD) is a medical illness, not a moral failing. Understand that the person suffering from AUD alone is responsible for their drinking and recovery.
Offer compassionate support while encouraging treatment and maintaining healthy boundaries. Educate yourself about AUD and prioritise your own well-being. It is important to be a steady presence throughout their recovery journey without trying to control it.
Do maintain a level of normality in your daily routine. Do focus on yourself and others affected by the alcoholic. Do learn to step back and not enable their behaviour. Don't spend your energy trying to control or stop their drinking. Don't remain in a situation where you feel unsafe.
