Alcoholic Parents: Five Unique Child Personalities

what are the 5 types of children of alcoholics

The children of alcoholics often face unique challenges and may exhibit certain personality traits as a result of their upbringing. According to research, children of alcoholic parents may struggle with cognitive and academic issues, mental health problems, and social difficulties. They may also be at a higher risk of developing substance abuse problems themselves. The impact of parental alcoholism on children is profound and far-reaching, and can result in a range of emotional and behavioural challenges. While the specific effects may vary, research has identified five distinct personality patterns in adolescent and adult children of alcoholics (COAs or ACOAs), indicating that this group is heterogeneous rather than homogeneous. These personality types are said to be the hero, the scapegoat, the lost child, the mascot, and the enabler.

Characteristics Values
Personality Types The Enabler, The Hero, The Scapegoat, The Lost Child, and The Mascot
Overreaction to Changes Outside Their Control Extreme emotional overreaction that does nothing to move the situation in a positive direction
Perceived Victimhood Blame others for the consequences of their choices, and have a hard time acknowledging their mistakes
Impulsive Behaviour Tend to lock themselves in a course of action without giving serious consideration to alternative behaviours or possible consequences
Isolation Often feel like they are different from everyone around them, and may believe that they either cannot function with other people or that they should be given special treatment
Lying May lie, exaggerate, or omit information, even when the truth would not be problematic
Substance Use Disorders May develop substance abuse problems themselves, despite knowing firsthand how devastating the use of alcohol and drugs can be
Low Self-Esteem Often seek constant approval from others
Codependency May find themselves attracted to alcoholics or other compulsive personalities, such as workaholics, who are emotionally unavailable
Poor Coping Skills May exhibit denial, poor problem-solving skills, and form dysfunctional relationships
ADD/ADHD Tend to have trouble shifting their attention, and may get stuck in negative thought patterns

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Inhibited: highest rates of generalized anxiety disorder

Children of alcoholics are a heterogeneous group, and research has identified five distinct personality patterns in adolescent and adult children of alcoholics. One of these subtypes is the inhibited type, which has the highest rates of generalised anxiety disorder.

The Inhibited Type

The inhibited type is characterised by a lack of social skills and relationships, feelings of inadequacy, neglect, powerlessness, self-consciousness, guilt, and discomfort in social situations. They tend to be passive, depressed, anxious, and ashamed. Adolescents who match this subtype may also exhibit feelings of depression, guilt, and anxiety about living up to their own moral and ethical standards.

Generalised Anxiety Disorder

Individuals with generalised anxiety disorder (GAD) experience excessive anxiety and worry about a variety of events and situations on most days. They may find it difficult to control their worry and may also experience restlessness, fatigue, irritability, muscle tension, and sleep disturbances. GAD can significantly impact an individual's daily life, including their social life, work or school performance, and relationships.

Causes of GAD in the Inhibited Type

The inhibited type is more prone to GAD due to the adverse childhood experiences they may have faced, such as neglect, abuse, and emotional trauma caused by living with alcoholic parents. The unpredictability and chaos in their home environment can lead to feelings of insecurity and a constant sense of being on edge, which can contribute to the development of GAD.

Treatment

Mental health treatment can be effective in addressing the childhood trauma that may be underlying GAD in the inhibited type. Therapies such as eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR), cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), and dialectical behaviour therapy (DBT) can help individuals process and come to terms with their traumatic memories. Seeking professional treatment or counselling can help individuals gain insight into their feelings, learn to express their needs, develop compassion for themselves, and cope with conflict in constructive ways.

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Emotionally Dysregulated: highest rates of major depression

Emotional dysregulation is a common issue for children of alcoholic parents, and it can persist into adulthood. Emotional dysregulation refers to the tendency for emotions to spiral out of control and the difficulty of soothing oneself in emotionally distressing situations. This can lead to impulsive behaviour, confusion, self-loathing, and a loss of control over one's environment. Children of alcoholics often experience neglect, abuse, and unpredictable home environments, which can result in their emotional needs not being met. As a result, they may struggle with low self-esteem, rejection sensitivity, over-reactivity, and constant approval-seeking or people-pleasing behaviours.

The impact of parental alcoholism can be profound and long-lasting, even into adulthood. Children of alcoholics may struggle with emotional dysregulation throughout their lives, affecting their overall well-being and relationships. However, it is important to note that seeking professional treatment or counselling can help individuals gain insight into their feelings and behaviours, and learn healthier coping mechanisms. Therapies such as eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR), cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), and dialectical behaviour therapy (DBT) can be particularly effective for those who grew up in alcoholic homes, as they help individuals process and confront their memories.

The late author and counselor, Janet G. Woititz, EdD, outlined several common characteristics of adult children of alcoholics (ACoAs) in her 1983 book, "Adult Children of Alcoholics." These traits include impulsivity, denial, poor coping skills, and the tendency to form dysfunctional relationships. Additionally, adult children of alcoholics may find themselves attracted to alcoholics or other emotionally unavailable, compulsive personalities. They may also tend to focus on helping others to the extent of neglecting their own needs, as it gives them a sense of self-worth and allows them to avoid dealing with their own difficulties.

The children and grandchildren of alcoholics are at an increased risk for attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), with a specific subtype called "Overfocused ADHD." This subtype is characterized by additional symptoms such as negative thought patterns, worry, inflexibility, and upset. It is important for adult children of alcoholics to be aware of this risk and to educate their children about their family history and the potential risks associated with alcohol consumption. By addressing these issues and seeking appropriate support, adult children of alcoholics can learn to manage and change unhelpful behaviours, improving their overall well-being and quality of life.

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Overreactive: negative response to unsolicited change

Children of alcoholics often grow up in unpredictable environments, with arguments, inconsistency, unreliability, and chaos being the norm. They often have to hide their feelings and emotions to survive and are never the priority. As a result, they tend to develop certain characteristics as adults that can compromise their health and well-being. One of these characteristics is being overreactive to unsolicited change.

Adult children of alcoholics (ACOAs) often struggle with overreacting to changes beyond their control. When faced with unexpected alterations in their lives, they respond with extreme emotional reactions rather than processing the potential positive aspects of the change or focusing on adjustment. This overreaction does little to improve the situation and can lead to confusion, self-loathing, and a loss of control.

ACOAs may find themselves constantly seeking approval and affirmation from others due to unmet emotional needs during their childhood. They can become overly sensitive to others' needs, trying to boost their self-esteem by pleasing people and earning their praise. This need for approval can lead to impulsive decision-making, as they lock themselves into courses of action without considering alternative behaviors or consequences.

ACOAs may also exhibit a victim mentality, blaming others for their choices and consequences rather than taking responsibility and learning from their mistakes. They often have difficulty expressing their feelings and emotions, especially sadness and anger, due to their upbringing. This can contribute to their fear of feelings and emotions and further compromise their ability to navigate changes in a healthy manner.

The tendency to overreact to unsolicited change can be understood in the context of the unpredictable and chaotic environments in which many ACOAs were raised. By recognizing and addressing these underlying issues, ACOAs can begin to develop healthier coping strategies and improve their overall well-being.

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Impulsive: quick to act without considering consequences

While there is no definitive list of the five types of children of alcoholics, there are several common characteristics that can be observed in children of alcoholic parents. One such trait is impulsivity, which can manifest as a tendency to act quickly without considering the consequences. This impulsivity can lead to confusion, self-loathing, and a loss of control over their environment. Children of alcoholics often exhibit poor coping skills, poor problem-solving abilities, and a lack of consideration for alternative behaviors or possible consequences. This can be attributed to their upbringing in an unpredictable and dysfunctional family environment where their emotional and social needs were not adequately met.

Children of alcoholics may grow up in a chaotic home environment marked by arguments, inconsistency, and unreliability. They may not receive the attention and emotional support necessary for healthy development, nor experience stable interpersonal interactions with their caregivers. As a result, they may struggle with low self-esteem, rejection sensitivity, over-reactivity, and a constant need for approval or people-pleasing. These traits can contribute to their impulsive behavior as they seek immediate gratification or relief without fully considering the potential outcomes.

Impulsive behavior in children of alcoholics has been linked to a higher risk of developing disruptive behavior problems, such as conduct disorder. They may also be more susceptible to substance use disorders themselves, despite witnessing firsthand the devastating effects of alcoholism. This could be due to a combination of genetics, exposure to heavy substance use at an early age, and a lack of positive coping mechanisms for managing stress. The family environment, where one or both parents struggle with addiction, can also contribute to their impulsive behavior.

It is important to note that not all children of alcoholics will exhibit impulsive behavior, and the impact of parental alcoholism can vary depending on various factors. However, understanding these common characteristics can help provide insight into the potential challenges faced by children of alcoholic parents and guide them toward seeking professional treatment or counseling to address any underlying issues.

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Substance use disorders: high risk of substance abuse

Children of alcoholics are a heterogeneous group, and research has identified five distinct personality patterns in adolescent and adult children of alcoholics. Children of alcoholics (COAs) are at a high risk of substance abuse and other mental health issues.

COAs often suffer from a wide range of negative academic and cognitive effects, including low GPAs, poor performance in math, reading, and spelling, and impaired learning capacity. They may also experience poor speech and language development in their early years. As a result, COAs often exhibit low self-esteem, rejection sensitivity, over-reactivity, and constant approval-seeking. They may also develop mental health issues such as depression, social phobia, separation anxiety, and obsessive-compulsive issues. These issues can persist into adulthood, with adult children of alcoholics (ACoAs) often struggling with impulsivity, confusion, self-loathing, and a lack of control over their environment.

The high risk of substance abuse among COAs is well-documented. Research has shown that COAs report more alcohol and drug problems, stronger alcohol expectancies, and higher levels of behavioral undercontrol and neuroticism than children of non-alcoholics. The relationship between parental alcoholism and offspring alcohol involvement is mediated by behavioral undercontrol and alcohol expectancies. COAs are also more likely to suffer from psychiatric distress and have lower academic achievement and verbal ability. These factors can create a cycle where COAs turn to substances as a maladaptive coping mechanism to deal with the stress and negative emotions they experience due to their chaotic and dysfunctional family environment.

The risk of substance abuse among COAs is further exacerbated by their exposure to trauma and adverse childhood experiences (ACEs). Chronic exposure to trauma during childhood can have long-lasting effects, and COAs may struggle to regulate or process their emotions healthily. Without effective treatment, such as eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR), cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), or dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), these unprocessed emotions can lead to destructive behaviors, including substance abuse. Additionally, COAs may be genetically predisposed to substance abuse, with a higher risk of developing ADD/ADHD, which can further impair their ability to regulate their attention and emotions.

It is important to note that not all COAs will develop substance use disorders, and some may even exhibit healthy coping mechanisms that help them navigate challenges later in life. However, due to the high risk, it is crucial for COAs to be aware of their increased vulnerability and seek professional treatment or counseling if needed. By addressing their feelings, behaviors, and struggles, COAs can learn to identify their triggers, assertively express their needs, and develop healthier coping strategies to break the cycle of substance abuse.

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