Battling Alcoholism: A Mother's Support And Recovery

Alcohol addiction, or alcohol use disorder (AUD), is a chronic disease that involves the inability to stop or control alcohol consumption despite negative consequences to health and relationships. Alcohol addiction impacts not just the addicted individual but also their family, especially their children. Growing up with a parent who has an alcohol use disorder can lead to various issues for children, including emotional, physical, mental, and financial abuse and neglect. Children of alcoholics may also experience feelings of unlove, neglect, low self-esteem, guilt, and shame. If you are the child of an alcoholic mother, you may be wondering how you can help her. While you cannot force your mother to change, there are several ways you can support her in her journey to recovery. This includes offering emotional and practical support, joining support groups for family members of alcoholics, and encouraging your mother to seek professional help.

Emotional support and practical support

Emotional Support

Alcohol addiction can consume a mother's attention, leaving her children feeling emotionally neglected. This can result in feelings of isolation, low self-esteem, and a cycle of self-doubt and self-blame. Emotional support can help counteract these negative emotions and help children develop a positive self-image. It is important to be honest and acknowledge the impact of the mother's alcoholism on her children. Encouraging open and honest communication can help address the emotional wounds caused by the addiction. Children should be made aware that the alcoholism is not their fault and that they should not feel guilty or responsible for their mother's drinking.

Practical Support

Practical support can take various forms, including joining support groups, researching treatment options, and seeking individual therapy. Support groups like Al-Anon or Adult Children of Alcoholics can provide a safe space to discuss the challenges of having an alcoholic mother. Additionally, children can research treatment options such as inpatient rehab or outpatient facilities and encourage their mother to seek professional help. Individual therapy can also be beneficial for children to address their concerns and heal from the effects of their mother's alcoholism.

It is important to remember that each child's experience is unique, and not every child will exhibit the same issues. However, by providing both emotional and practical support, children of alcoholic mothers can begin to heal and break the cycle of addiction.

Understanding Alcohol Use Disorder (AUD)

Alcohol Use Disorder (AUD) is a medical condition characterised by an impaired ability to stop or control alcohol use despite adverse social, occupational, or health consequences. AUD is considered a brain disorder and can be mild, moderate, or severe.

AUD is a chronic disease that involves not being able to stop or control alcohol use, no matter the negative consequences to one's health and relationships. AUD can change the chemistry in the brain, making it difficult for those affected to quit drinking by simply "deciding to quit".

A person's risk for developing AUD depends on how much, how often, and how quickly they consume alcohol. Genetics and family history also play a role, with hereditability accounting for approximately 60%. Mental health conditions and a history of trauma are associated with an increased risk of AUD.

The effects of a mother's AUD can have a significant impact on her children. Children may experience behavioural, psychological, and emotional problems, such as internalising their problems and becoming withdrawn, depressed, anxious, or inhibited. They may also externalise their problems, acting out in ways that can lead to delinquency, anger, aggression, and legal troubles. Additionally, a mother's AUD can contribute to emotional, physical, mental, and financial abuse and neglect of her children.

If you are concerned about your mother's alcohol use, it is important to offer emotional and practical support. Learn about AUD before starting a conversation with your mother, and be open about what you know and what you don't know or understand. It is also crucial to acknowledge any progress she has made. Avoid open hostility, telling her what to do, bringing up the past in a blaming context, or using stigmatising language.

There are various treatment options available for AUD, including behavioural therapies, mutual-support groups, and medications. It is important to note that treatment should be tailored to the individual, as what works for one person may not work for another.

Setting boundaries

• Educate yourself about Alcohol Use Disorder (AUD): Understanding AUD is essential before initiating any conversation about your mother's alcohol use. Learn about the signs of addiction, the impact of alcoholism on the family, and the treatment options available. This knowledge will empower you to have more informed and empathetic conversations with your mother.
• Choose an appropriate time and approach the conversation with care: Look for a calm moment when your mother is receptive and less likely to feel defensive. Express your concerns in a kind and supportive manner, focusing on your love for her and how her drinking affects her life and those around her. Avoid language that sounds blaming or critical.
• Encourage professional help: Suggest that your mother seek professional help through therapy, support groups, or a rehab program. Offer to help her find resources or accompany her to appointments. Remember, recovery is a process, and it's important to acknowledge and celebrate any progress she makes.
• Set clear and firm boundaries: Communicate your boundaries clearly and firmly. For example, you might decide, "I will not meet my mother if she is under the influence of alcohol" or "I will provide her with food or clothes but not money." These boundaries are not about removing your love or being selfish; they are about maintaining your own health and safety while also encouraging your mother's recovery.
• Seek support for yourself: Dealing with an alcoholic parent can be emotionally challenging. Consider joining support groups like Al-Anon or Adult Children of Alcoholics, where you can connect with others who understand your experience. Individual therapy can also provide a safe space to process your emotions, set boundaries, and develop healthier coping mechanisms.
• Practice self-care: Prioritize self-care and self-compassion during this challenging time. Engage in activities that promote your physical and mental well-being, such as exercise, meditation, or hobbies that bring you joy. Nurturing yourself is essential for maintaining your resilience and emotional balance.

Remember, setting boundaries is not about severing ties with your mother; it's about creating a healthier dynamic that respects your needs and encourages her to seek treatment. It is a delicate balance between supporting your mother and preserving your own emotional well-being.

Seeking professional help

Alcohol addiction, or alcohol use disorder (AUD), is a chronic disease that involves not being able to stop or control alcohol use no matter the negative consequences to one's health and relationships. Alcohol addiction impacts everyone differently, but some signs are common to many alcoholics. Alcohol misuse can pose risks of self-harm and contribute to the behavioural, social, psychological, and physical problems of her children. It is important to remember that it is not your fault that your mother drinks and abuses alcohol.

If you are concerned about your mother's alcohol use, you may want to consider seeking professional help. Here are some steps you can take:

• Educate yourself about AUD: Before approaching your mother, it is important to understand AUD and the impact it can have on individuals and their families. Learn about the signs of alcohol addiction and the treatment options available. This can help you have a more informed conversation with your mother and avoid common pitfalls.
• Seek support from a trusted adult: If you are comfortable, reach out to a trusted adult, such as a counsellor, teacher, family doctor, or therapist. They can provide you with guidance and support and help you navigate the next steps.
• Contact a treatment provider: Consider contacting a treatment provider or speaking with a medical professional about your concerns. They can answer your questions about rehab and explore the various treatment options available for your mother.
• Encourage your mother to seek help: When you are ready, approach your mother in a calm and supportive manner. Express your concerns kindly, focusing on how her drinking is affecting her and those around her. Avoid language that sounds like blame or criticism, as this may make her defensive. Encourage her to seek professional help, such as therapy, support groups, or a rehab program.
• Join a support group: Consider joining a support group for family and friends of people with AUD, such as Al-Anon or SMART Recovery Family and Friends. These groups can provide a safe and non-judgmental space to discuss the challenges of AUD within the family and help you set healthy boundaries.
• Prioritize self-care: Dealing with an alcoholic parent can be emotionally challenging. It is important to prioritize your own self-care and well-being. Consider seeking individual therapy or counselling to process your emotions and develop healthier coping mechanisms. Remember, you are not alone, and it is not your responsibility to fix your mother's addiction, but you can provide support and encouragement throughout her recovery journey.

Building a support network

Alcohol addiction, or alcohol use disorder (AUD), is a chronic disease that involves not being able to stop or control alcohol use regardless of the negative consequences to one's health and relationships. Alcohol addiction impacts everyone differently, but some signs are common to most alcoholics. Alcohol misuse can pose risks of self-harm and contribute to the behavioural, social, psychological, and physical problems of her children.

If you have a mother who is struggling with an alcohol use disorder, it is natural to want to help her, but it is important to remember that it is not your fault that your mother drinks and abuses alcohol. It is not your responsibility to find treatment for your mother, but supporting her through treatment can be very encouraging for her, as a strong support system is beneficial to a successful recovery journey.

• Talk to a trusted adult : This could be a counsellor, teacher, or family doctor. They can help you make an action plan, including listing warning signs that your mother isn't doing well and what to do when you feel worried or scared.
• Join a support group : Groups like Al-Anon and SMART Recovery Family and Friends can offer a safe and non-judgmental place to discuss the challenges of AUD within the family. These groups can also help you set boundaries to keep yourself healthy and safe.
• Seek individual therapy : Talking to a counsellor or therapist about your concerns can help you develop a plan of action and start to heal from the effects of your mother's alcoholism. Therapy can also be a helpful objective space to process and understand the impacts of an alcoholic mother and identify your needs and how to advocate for them.
• Reach out to friends and family members : They may be able to help convince your mother to seek help.
• Contact a treatment provider : They can answer your rehab-related questions and explore the many rehab options available.

When approaching your mother about her alcohol use, it is important to see it as a disease, not a personal failing, and to approach her with care and understanding rather than judgment. Choose a calm moment and express your concerns in a kind and supportive way. Focus on how her drinking is affecting her and the people around her. Try to avoid any language that might sound like blame or criticism, as this can make her defensive. Encourage her to get professional help, whether that's through therapy, support groups, or a rehab program.

Frequently asked questions