Open Letter: Alcoholics Anonymous Conference Approved

Open Letter from the Alcoholic is a letter written from the perspective of an alcoholic addressing their loved ones. It is conference-approved literature, which means it has been approved by the General Service Conference for publication by GSO. The letter emphasizes the need for understanding and support, acknowledging alcoholism as a disease. It requests that loved ones refrain from lecturing, blaming, or covering up for the alcoholic's drinking. Instead, it encourages them to learn about alcoholism, attend AA and Al-Anon meetings, and connect with others in similar situations. The letter provides insights into the mindset and struggles of an alcoholic, offering guidance on how to support their journey towards recovery effectively.

Alcoholism is a disease

Alcoholism, or Alcohol Use Disorder (AUD), is a disease. It is a common, chronic brain disease that can be inherited and is characterised by an impaired ability to stop or control alcohol use despite adverse social, occupational, or health consequences. Those with AUD may continue to drink even when they know it is causing problems in their lives and the lives of those around them.

The disease can be mild, moderate, or severe, and is often progressive and fatal. AUD is associated with a range of health problems, including liver disease, heart disease, certain types of cancer, and depression. It is also linked to an increased risk of accidents and violence, as well as sleep problems and other mental health issues.

The risk factors for developing AUD include drinking at an early age, with those who begin drinking before the age of 15 being more likely to develop the disorder. Genetics and family history are also significant factors, with hereditability accounting for approximately 60% of the risk. However, like other chronic health conditions, the risk is influenced by the interaction between a person's genes and their environment. Binge drinking and heavy alcohol use also increase the risk of developing AUD.

Treatment for AUD includes medication and behavioural therapy, and most people are able to reduce their alcohol intake or stop drinking entirely. Evidence-based treatments are available and can help individuals achieve and maintain recovery. However, setbacks are common, and seeking professional help early is important to prevent a return to drinking.

Don't lecture, blame or scold

In the open letter from an alcoholic, the writer asks that their loved ones do not lecture, blame, or scold them. They compare alcoholism to diseases like cancer and diabetes, which wouldn't elicit anger or scolding. Instead, they request understanding and support in their journey to recovery.

The writer acknowledges that their loved ones may feel angry, worried, or anxious about their drinking. However, they emphasize that it is crucial for their loved ones not to let these emotions lead to lectures, blame, or scolding. They explain that such reactions will only make them feel worse about themselves and could hinder their progress in taking responsibility for their actions.

Additionally, the writer requests that their loved ones refrain from accepting their promises or making empty threats. They recognize that their illness may lead them to make promises they cannot keep, despite their best intentions. Instead of relying on promises, they ask for understanding and support as they navigate the challenges of their disease.

The writer also emphasizes the importance of not covering up for their drinking or shielding them from its consequences. They explain that doing so could prevent them from recognizing the severity of their problem and seeking the help they need. They encourage their loved ones to attend open AA meetings, Al-Anon meetings, and to educate themselves about alcoholism and their role in supporting the writer's recovery.

By refraining from lecturing, blaming, or scolding, the writer's loved ones can provide a more supportive and understanding environment, which could be crucial in their journey towards recovery.

Don't cover up for the alcoholic

The letter emphasizes that alcoholism is a disease, much like cancer or diabetes, and that anger, blame, and scolding are counterproductive. It also advises against pouring out the alcoholic's liquor, as this will not stop them from obtaining more. Instead, loved ones are urged to refrain from assuming the alcoholic's responsibilities, as this can enable their sense of failure and guilt and lead to resentment. The writer acknowledges the temptation to make promises to get off the hook, but cautions that their illness may prevent them from keeping those promises.

By not covering up for the alcoholic, loved ones can help them face the reality of their situation and potentially motivate them to seek help. This aligns with the AA principle of encouraging alcoholics to take responsibility for their actions and make their own decisions in their recovery journey. The letter underscores the importance of education and support for both the alcoholic and their loved ones, recognizing that alcoholism affects everyone involved.

While the letter provides guidance, it is essential to remember that each situation is unique, and professional help may be necessary. Support groups like AA and Al-Anon offer valuable resources, but individualized treatment plans and therapy can also play a crucial role in addressing the specific needs and challenges faced by both the alcoholic and their loved ones.

In conclusion, the message "don't cover up for the alcoholic" is a powerful reminder that enabling behavior can hinder an alcoholic's path to recovery. By allowing them to face the consequences of their actions and encouraging them to take responsibility, loved ones can play a supportive role in their journey towards healing. Additionally, educating oneself about alcoholism and seeking support can provide valuable insight and guidance in navigating the complexities of this disease.

Learn about alcoholism and your role

Alcoholism is a disease, and those suffering from it need help. If you know someone who is an alcoholic, it is important to learn about alcoholism and your role in relation to them. Educate yourself about the disease and its impact, attend open AA meetings, and participate in Al-Anon support groups for friends and family of alcoholics. These groups can provide valuable insights and help you navigate your relationship with the alcoholic person.

Al-Anon meetings and literature can offer guidance on how to best support an alcoholic while also taking care of yourself. It is important to understand that alcoholism is a disease and that the person suffering from it needs your help, but not in a way that enables their addiction. Do not lecture, blame, or scold them, as this will only increase their sense of guilt and your resentment. Instead, encourage them to seek professional help and support their recovery journey.

It is crucial not to cover up for the alcoholic or protect them from the consequences of their drinking. Allowing them to face these consequences may be what prompts them to finally seek help. Do not accept their promises to change, as the nature of the illness may prevent them from keeping those promises, despite their best intentions. Instead, set clear boundaries and stick to them.

Additionally, it is important to recognize any genetic propensity for alcoholism within your family. If you believe you or your children may be at risk for addiction, be vigilant and proactive in addressing these concerns early on. Do not let stigma or shame prevent you from seeking help and support.

By learning about alcoholism and your role, you can provide meaningful support to the alcoholic in your life while also taking care of your own well-being. Remember, seeking professional help and attending support groups can be incredibly beneficial for all involved.

Conference-approved literature

The term "Conference-approved" is used to describe written or audiovisual material that has been given the green light by the General Service Conference for publication by GSO. This approval process ensures that the content aligns with the principles of Alcoholics Anonymous (A.A.). Conference-approved literature specifically addresses the A.A. recovery program or provides information about the A.A. Fellowship.

One example of Conference-approved literature is the "Open Letter from an Alcoholic," which offers a unique perspective on alcoholism. In this letter, the alcoholic acknowledges their disease and pleads for help without lectures, blame, or scolding. They compare alcoholism to cancer or diabetes, arguing that it deserves the same understanding and empathy. The letter also includes practical advice for loved ones, such as not pouring out their liquor, not accepting empty promises, and not enabling their drinking by covering up or lying for them.

The "Open Letter from an Alcoholic" has sparked mixed reactions. Some readers have found it helpful, suggesting that it offers insight into the alcoholic's mindset and provides guidance on how to support a loved one struggling with alcoholism. However, others have expressed anger and resentment towards the letter, feeling that it takes away space from the non-alcoholic perspective in Al-Anon spaces.

Despite the differing opinions, the "Open Letter from an Alcoholic" serves as a valuable tool for those seeking to understand alcoholism and their role in relation to the alcoholic. It encourages education and participation in support groups like Al-Anon and open AA meetings, emphasizing the importance of connecting with others who can provide clarity and support.

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