Mason Delacroix
The holiday season can be a challenging time for people in recovery from alcohol addiction, with social events and family gatherings often centred around drinking. For those newly sober, it can be a difficult period, but with the right strategies and support, it is possible to navigate the holidays without relapsing. Planning is key, and this involves anticipating challenging situations and having an exit strategy, as well as finding sober friends or support groups to share your feelings with and help you stay accountable.
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What You'll Learn
Plan ahead for triggering situations and environments
Holidays can be a stressful time for people in recovery from alcohol addiction. Family gatherings and social events are often soaked in alcohol, and people are likely to offer you a drink. It is important to plan ahead for triggering situations and environments to protect your sobriety and avoid any potential relapses.
Firstly, identify your triggers. Certain circumstances may trigger the urge to drink, and these can be different for everyone. For example, financial stress, family drama, and the temptation to live in excess are common stressors during the holidays. Knowing your triggers will help you plan how to avoid or manage them effectively.
Secondly, seek support from your sober network. Consider attending a Twelve-Step meeting or similar recovery group before or during the holidays. These groups often increase their meetings during the holidays, providing extra support for those who need it. You can also invite a sober friend to join you at family gatherings or social events. They can provide valuable support and help you feel less pressured to drink.
Thirdly, have a plan for handling offers of alcohol. At family gatherings and social events, bring your favorite non-alcoholic drink. This reduces the likelihood of people offering you an alcoholic beverage and pestering you about your sobriety. If you feel uncomfortable refusing an offer of alcohol, you can politely decline and offer to get the person a drink instead, or suggest a non-alcoholic alternative.
Lastly, limit your time around stressful situations and difficult people. If you know that certain people or environments trigger your urge to drink, it is okay to set boundaries and limit your exposure. You can choose to attend events for a specific duration or plan alternative activities that support your sobriety. For example, you could serve a meal at a homeless shelter or spend time with an elderly neighbor. These acts of service can help you feel more connected and grateful, reducing feelings of resentment and stress.
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Connect with sober friends and support groups
The holidays can be a challenging time for people in recovery, with parties and gatherings where alcohol is often served. Connecting with sober friends and support groups can provide a crucial support system to help you stay on track. Here are some ways to connect with sober friends and support groups during the holidays:
- Reach out to sober friends: Maintaining connections with sober friends can be incredibly beneficial. These friends can provide understanding and support during challenging times. They can also accompany you to holiday gatherings, providing a sense of comfort and accountability. Consider inviting them to join you at family gatherings or holiday events.
- Attend support group meetings: Support groups such as Alcoholics Anonymous (AA), Narcotics Anonymous (NA), Al-Anon, and other 12-step recovery groups often increase their meetings during the holidays. These meetings can provide a safe and supportive environment to share your experiences and emotions. They can also help you stay accountable to your sobriety goals. Check with local intergroups or recovery advisors for meeting information.
- Utilize sober holiday events: Many recovery groups organize sober holiday events, such as alcohol-free parties or social gatherings. Attending these events can provide a fun and supportive environment to connect with others in recovery. It also helps to create new, positive holiday memories that aren't centred around alcohol.
- Connect with sober acquaintances: The holidays are an excellent opportunity to build relationships with sober acquaintances. Reach out to those in your support network and make plans to spend time with them. Whether it's going out for dinner, engaging in healthy group activities, or just getting together, these connections can provide valuable support and a sense of community.
- Seek online support: If in-person meetings aren't feasible, take advantage of online support groups and recovery forums. These virtual communities can offer a sense of connection and support, especially if you're unable to attend local meetings. Online resources like the JED Foundation provide valuable tips and strategies for staying sober during the holidays.
- Plan ahead: Before attending any holiday gatherings, create a plan to help you stay sober. This could include bringing your own non-alcoholic drinks, having a designated sober friend, or preparing responses if offered alcohol. Planning ahead can make it easier to navigate triggering situations and maintain your sobriety.
Remember, you are not alone in this journey. By connecting with sober friends and support groups, you can find the strength and support to stay sober during the holidays and beyond.
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Limit exposure to challenging relatives and events
Holidays can be a stressful time for people in recovery from alcohol addiction. Family gatherings and social events are often soaked in alcohol, and family members can demand a lot of time, energy, and patience. Here are some ways to limit exposure to challenging relatives and events during the holidays while supporting a newly sober alcoholic:
- Plan ahead: Anticipate potentially uncomfortable situations and triggering environments and prepare accordingly. This could include attending a Twelve-Step meeting beforehand or bringing a sober friend for support.
- Set boundaries: Be honest with yourself and your family about your needs. If certain relatives or events are particularly challenging, consider limiting your time with them or setting a time limit for your visit. You can also decline invitations if you feel it is best for your sobriety.
- Bring your own drink: Carry your favourite non-alcoholic drink to social gatherings. This reduces the likelihood of people offering you alcoholic drinks and pestering you about your sobriety.
- Practice self-care: Holidays can be emotionally draining, so prioritise self-care. Plan something soothing for after the event, like a massage or quiet time.
- Seek support: Speak with a sober friend, sponsor, or therapist about your emotions and expectations surrounding the holidays. Challenging negative thoughts and breaking down defensive walls can help prevent a buildup of stress and resentment that could lead to relapse.
- Stay busy: Look for opportunities to be of service to others during the holidays. Serving meals at a homeless shelter, reaching out to newcomers at meetings, or spending time with elderly loved ones or neighbours can help guide you further away from resentment and towards gratitude.
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Create new holiday traditions that don't involve alcohol
Holidays are often a time of celebration and joy, but they can also be a challenging period for those struggling with alcohol addiction or maintaining sobriety. The season tends to be alcohol-centric, with extra work events, parties, and gatherings where alcohol is typically consumed. However, it is important to remember that alcohol is not a necessary component of holiday celebrations. Here are some ideas for creating new holiday traditions that don't involve alcohol:
Baking and Decorating:
Baking is a delightful way to commemorate the holidays and share treats with loved ones. Pour yourself a delicious alcohol-free beverage, play some festive music, and enjoy the process of creating baked goods. You can also involve your family or invite friends and neighbours over for DIY decor crafting, embracing the joy of decorating without the pressure of alcohol.
Gratitude and Service:
Consider creating a tradition centred around gratitude and service. Take a moment each day to express gratitude, perform a random act of kindness, or engage in volunteer work. This can help shift your mindset from scarcity to abundance and bring a deeper meaning to the season. For example, you could serve a meal at a homeless shelter or spend time with an elderly neighbour.
Alcohol-Free Beverages:
When attending holiday gatherings, bring your favourite non-alcoholic drink. This reduces the likelihood of people offering you alcoholic beverages and pestering you about your sobriety. There are also non-alcoholic alternatives to traditional holiday drinks, such as sparkling cider or non-alcoholic eggnog, which allow you to participate in toasts and celebrations without compromising your sobriety.
Holiday Lights and Activities:
Engage in alcohol-free activities that celebrate the season, such as walking tours set to music, drive-through light tours in your pyjamas with hot chocolate, zoo lights, or neighbourhood lights scavenger hunts. These activities provide a fun way to get everyone out of the house and create new holiday memories without alcohol.
Support and Self-Care:
Surround yourself with supportive people who respect your sobriety. Invite recovery friends or sober companions to holiday gatherings or plan ahead by attending a Twelve-Step meeting beforehand. Additionally, prioritise self-care and set boundaries. Decide on a time limit for gatherings and plan something soothing for afterward, such as a massage or quiet time.
By implementing these ideas, you can create new holiday traditions that are enjoyable, meaningful, and alcohol-free, supporting your journey toward a sober and fulfilling holiday season.
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Take care of yourself: sleep, exercise, eat well, and relax
Taking care of yourself is paramount when you are newly sober, especially during the holidays. Here are some detailed suggestions to help you sleep, exercise, eat well, and relax:
Sleep
Sleep is often disrupted when a person is newly sober, and it is an essential time for the body to rest and recover. Aim for a healthy amount of sleep, which will vary from person to person, but generally, 7-9 hours is recommended for adults. If you are struggling to fall asleep or are experiencing insomnia, speak to a medical professional, who can advise you on healthy sleep habits and, if necessary, short-term solutions to aid sleep.
Exercise
Exercise is a great way to take care of yourself, and it can help you feel more alert and positive. Try to engage in some form of physical activity each day, whether that's a walk, a run, or a workout routine. Joining a sports team or fitness group can also help you connect with others and build a support network. However, it is important to note that exercise does not help metabolise alcohol quicker, so it is not a replacement for time and rest when it comes to sobering up.
Eat Well
Eating nutritious meals is crucial for supporting your recovery. Eating the right foods before, during, and after drinking alcohol can help slow the absorption of alcohol into the bloodstream. Foods high in protein, fibre, and fats are ideal, such as whole carbohydrate sources (brown rice, pasta, oats) and lean protein sources (eggs, salmon, chicken breast). Staying hydrated is also essential, so be sure to drink plenty of water.
Relax
Finding ways to relax and manage stress is critical to maintaining sobriety. Different strategies work for different people, so you might try meditation, deep breathing, yoga, or other activities that promote relaxation. Additionally, staying busy and connected with others can be beneficial. Consider volunteering or reaching out to a newcomer at a meeting to help guide them. These acts of service can foster a sense of purpose and gratitude while also connecting you with a community.
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Frequently asked questions
Planning ahead is key. Think about the things that might make you want to drink and come up with ways to deal with those situations. You can also create a plan for each event you'll attend.
Bring your own non-alcoholic drink, so you always have something to sip on and avoid the pressure to drink alcohol. You can also invite sober friends to join you or have an exit plan if you ever want to leave.
Limit your time around stressful situations and difficult people. You can also ask allies to join you at family gatherings or "rescue" you if needed. Focus on your progress and long-term recovery goals.
Make sure to get enough sleep, build in downtime, and do activities that help you feel grounded, such as meditation or yoga. Treat yourself to a massage or a meal at your favourite restaurant.
There are various support groups and hotlines available, such as Alcoholics Anonymous, Al-Anon, and SAMHSA's National Helpline. You can also reach out to trusted sober friends and sponsors for additional support.
