Vivian Marlowe
Alcohol use disorder (AUD), or alcoholism, is a common medical condition that can be challenging to identify in a partner due to hidden or subtle signs. However, it is important to recognise the health risks associated with alcohol misuse and understand when to seek help. Some key warning signs include increased alcohol consumption over time, prioritising drinking over other commitments, experiencing withdrawal symptoms during breaks from drinking, dishonesty about drinking habits, and an inability to stop drinking once started. If you suspect your partner has a drinking problem, pay attention to physical and behavioural indicators, and gently initiate a conversation using I language to express your concerns. Encourage your partner to seek professional help and support them in their journey towards recovery.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Prioritising drinking over other things | Forgoes other activities to drink |
| Hiding alcohol or drinking in secret | Concealing frequency and volume of drinking |
| Increase in consumption and tolerance | Drinking more than intended |
| Using alcohol as a coping mechanism | Drinking to alleviate stress, anxiety or depression |
| Financial difficulties | Neglecting financial obligations in favour of buying alcohol |
| Dishonesty about drinking | Lying about drinking |
| Inability to cut back on drinking | Unable to reduce drinking |
| Experiencing withdrawal symptoms | Headaches, nausea, tremors, anxiety, irritability, hallucinations or seizures |
| Continuing to drink despite consequences | Drinking despite causing problems at work or home |
| Mood swings and uncharacteristic behaviour | Erratic, dangerous and damaging behaviour |
| Physical symptoms | Flushed skin, unexplained weight loss or gain, broken facial capillaries, premature ageing, dry skin, brittle hair and nails, unexplained bruises, jaundice, hand tremors |
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What You'll Learn
Spotting signs of secretive behaviour
Alcoholism can cause a person to behave in a secretive and dishonest manner. They may hide alcohol or empty bottles around the house to ensure their partner does not discover the extent of their drinking. They may also lie about or hide their drinking, and their behaviour can become erratic, dangerous, and damaging to themselves and those around them.
- They may start sneaking around and become dishonest about the amount and frequency of their drinking. For example, they may tell you they have to stay late at work but then come home drunk.
- They may hide alcohol or empty bottles in unusual places.
- They may only attend events where alcohol is available or spend time with others who drink alcohol.
- They may put off necessary purchases or neglect financial obligations in favour of buying alcohol.
- They may experience physical symptoms such as unexplained weight loss or gain, broken facial capillaries, flushed skin, premature ageing, dry skin, brittle hair and fingernails, and jaundice. These physical signs may be harder for them to hide.
- They may experience mood swings, uncharacteristic behaviour, and bursts of energy followed by crashes. Their behaviour may seem very different from day to day or hour to hour, depending on their drinking.
- They may be frequently late or their work performance may suffer due to hangovers.
- They may drink as a coping mechanism to alleviate stress, anxiety, or depression, turning to alcohol when they have had a bad day or are feeling low.
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Alcohol impacting their work
Alcohol use disorder (AUD) or alcohol addiction can manifest in various ways and negatively affect a person's life. Alcoholism can cause erratic, dangerous, and damaging behaviour, and those suffering from it may become secretive and dishonest. They may start lying about or hiding their drinking, and drinking alone may become more important than spending time with loved ones.
Changes in behaviour and performance
Your partner may start to have problems at work, such as being frequently late or their performance suffering due to agitation and distraction. They may also start neglecting their responsibilities at work, such as missing meetings or being unable to complete tasks.
Financial difficulties
Alcohol addiction can lead to financial difficulties, as your partner may start to prioritise buying alcohol over other financial obligations or necessary purchases. This can cause stress and frequent arguments in the relationship.
Health issues
Alcohol addiction can cause physical health issues such as unexplained weight loss or gain, broken facial capillaries, flushed skin, premature ageing, dry skin, brittle hair and fingernails, and unexplained bruises. These physical signs may become more difficult to hide over time.
Withdrawal symptoms
If your partner tries to take a break from drinking, they may experience withdrawal symptoms such as headaches, nausea, tremors, anxiety, irritability, or even hallucinations or seizures. These symptoms can be dangerous and require immediate medical attention.
Inability to cut back
A key symptom of alcohol use disorder is the inability to reduce drinking. Your partner may struggle to limit their drinking, even if it is causing problems at work or negatively affecting their health.
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Withdrawal symptoms
Alcohol addiction, also known as Alcohol Use Disorder (AUD), is a common medical condition. People with AUD are physically and psychologically dependent on alcohol and are unable to stop drinking, even if it negatively impacts their lives and the lives of those around them.
- Headaches
- Nausea
- Tremors
- Anxiety
- Irritability
- Mood swings
- Uncharacteristic behaviour
- Hallucinations
- Seizures
If your partner experiences hallucinations or seizures, seek immediate medical attention. Milder withdrawal symptoms, such as headaches, nausea, and irritability, should still be evaluated by a medical professional.
It is important to note that people with alcohol addiction often try to hide their drinking habits and may become adept at deception. They may lie about their drinking or conceal their alcohol consumption. Withdrawal symptoms can be a crucial indicator of a more profound issue, as they reveal the physical dependence that has formed.
If you suspect your partner is struggling with alcohol addiction, it is essential to approach the topic with care and without accusation. Offer support and guidance, and encourage them to seek professional help.
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Alcohol impacting their finances
Alcohol addiction can have a significant impact on a person's finances, and this can be a tell-tale sign that your partner has a drinking problem. Alcoholics often prioritise drinking over other commitments, including financial obligations. This can lead to financial difficulties and frequent arguments about money.
- They are spending money on alcohol instead of on essential purchases or financial obligations. For example, they may forgo a dinner date because they don't have the money but still find the funds to buy alcohol.
- They are neglecting their responsibilities at work, which could lead to job loss or reduced income. This could be due to frequent lateness, poor performance, or an inability to handle work stress without turning to alcohol.
- They are experiencing financial difficulties due to the cost of alcohol, which can be significant, especially if they are drinking large quantities or buying alcohol frequently.
- They are struggling to manage their finances effectively due to the cognitive and behavioural effects of alcohol abuse, such as impaired decision-making, mood swings, and secrecy about their drinking.
- They are lying about or hiding their drinking from you, which could indicate that they are spending more money on alcohol than they are letting on.
If you notice these signs, it may be a red flag that your partner's drinking is impacting their finances and that they may have a drinking problem. It is important to approach this topic sensitively and without accusation, as denial and deception are common in alcoholics, and they may not be ready to admit they have a problem.
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Alcohol impacting their health
Alcoholism can have a detrimental impact on a person's health, and those close to them may notice physical and behavioural changes.
Physical Health
Alcohol abuse can cause a range of physical health issues, and the negative effects on the body are well documented. Alcohol impacts the liver, and this can manifest in physical symptoms such as jaundice, unexplained weight loss or gain, and premature ageing. Alcohol abuse can also cause broken facial capillaries, dry skin, and brittle hair and nails. Flushed skin is a common symptom, as are hand tremors, particularly noticeable in the morning. Alcoholics may also experience frequent injuries and bruises, and these can be a sign of erratic and dangerous behaviour.
Behavioural Changes
Alcoholism can cause mood swings, and a person's behaviour can become unpredictable and uncharacteristic. They may experience bursts of energy followed by crashes, and their mood can be volatile, with irritability and anxiety being common symptoms of withdrawal. Alcoholics often become secretive and dishonest about their drinking, hiding alcohol and lying about their consumption. They may only attend events where alcohol is available and spend time with other drinkers.
Dependency and Withdrawal
Alcoholics often become physically dependent on alcohol, and they may experience withdrawal symptoms such as headaches, nausea, tremors, anxiety, and even hallucinations or seizures. These symptoms can be very distressing and often lead the alcoholic back to drinking. This cycle of dependency and withdrawal is extremely difficult to break without professional help.
Impact on Daily Life
Alcohol abuse can cause a person to neglect their responsibilities and priorities. They may perform poorly at work, or neglect their finances, causing financial difficulties. Alcohol becomes the priority, and relationships and health are often negatively impacted.
Relapse
Even if an alcoholic attempts to quit drinking, relapse is common, and without professional help, many alcoholics will return to drinking within a short time. This can be triggered by stress or by seeing others drinking.
It is important to remember that alcoholism is a progressive disease and that treatment is available. If you recognise these signs in your partner, encourage them to seek professional help and support them in their journey towards recovery.
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Frequently asked questions
If your partner is prioritising drinking over everything else, this is a sign of alcoholism. They may also start lying about or hiding their drinking from you, and may be unable to stop once they've started.
Physical signs can include unexplained weight loss or gain, broken facial capillaries, flushed skin, premature ageing, dry skin, brittle hair and nails, and jaundice. Behavioural signs can include mood swings, dishonesty, and neglecting responsibilities.
A family history of AUD puts a person at greater risk. Other risk factors include binge drinking and drinking to cope with stress, anxiety or depression.
It's important to talk to your partner about how their drinking has negatively affected you, and to encourage them to seek professional help. You can find out about addiction treatment and support groups near you, and be prepared to support them through recovery.
If your partner isn't open to getting better, it may be time to consider a professional intervention or leaving the relationship. You can also seek support for yourself through groups such as Al-Anon.
