Theo Nash
Alcohol use disorder (AUD) is a chronic and potentially life-threatening condition that can be challenging to identify, especially in the early stages of a relationship. Dating an alcoholic can impact your mental, physical, and emotional health, and it's important to be aware of the signs to look out for. If you suspect your partner has a drinking problem, they may be displaying some of the following behaviours: an increased alcohol tolerance, drinking at any time of day, neglecting responsibilities, and experiencing relationship problems and mood changes. They may also exhibit signs of alcohol withdrawal, such as irritability and defensiveness when confronted about their drinking. If you recognise these signs in your partner, it's crucial to encourage them to seek professional help and support groups like Alcoholics Anonymous (AA). It is also important to prioritise your own well-being and set boundaries to protect yourself from the negative impact of their alcohol abuse.
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What You'll Learn
Alcoholics often drink alone and in secret
People with alcohol addiction will drink whatever is available, no matter the type of drink or brand. They will also always have just enough money to pay for drinks. They may not have enough money for a dinner date but will somehow manage to buy alcohol. They may put off necessary purchases or neglect financial obligations in favour of buying alcohol.
Alcoholics may also drink alone and in secret because they are trying to cope with everyday life. Alcohol becomes their main hobby and an escape from reality. They may have previously had healthy outlets, such as exercise, reading, or painting, but now they use alcohol as a stress reliever. They may also be drinking alone to hide their drinking problem from others. They may be aware that others perceive them as alcoholics, so they take steps to hide their drinking, such as brushing their teeth several times a day to mask the smell of alcohol.
If you are dating an alcoholic, it is important to stay honest in the relationship. You should also seek support, such as discovering a support group like Alcoholics Anonymous (AA). You can also contact the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) National Helpline for information on support and treatment facilities in your area.
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They will always prioritise drinking over other activities
Alcoholism is a chronic and potentially life-threatening condition that can be challenging to identify, especially in the early stages of a relationship. It is characterised by a person's inability to control their drinking habits and the amount of alcohol they consume. If you suspect that your partner may have a drinking problem, it is essential to look out for certain warning signs and take appropriate steps to address the issue.
One of the most prominent signs of alcoholism is the prioritisation of drinking over other activities and responsibilities. People struggling with alcoholism often prefer spending time drinking rather than engaging in other hobbies or social activities. They may attend events solely for the availability of alcohol and socialise primarily with others who drink. For example, they may choose to go to a bar after a date night or a movie, indicating that the presence of alcohol takes precedence over the quality time spent with their partner.
Individuals with alcoholism tend to devote most of their time to drinking, and it becomes the central focus of their lives. They may engage in drinking at any time of the day to satisfy their cravings and may drink alone to hide their actual alcohol intake. They may also exhibit impulsive and risky behaviour related to their drinking, such as driving under the influence, operating machinery while intoxicated, or engaging in physical altercations. These actions can put themselves and others at risk of harm.
Alcoholism can also impact an individual's ability to manage their finances. They may always have enough money to purchase alcohol but may struggle to afford other necessary expenses or neglect financial obligations. They may ask their partners for money due to their excessive spending on alcohol. Additionally, alcoholism can cause individuals to neglect their responsibilities and duties, such as household chores, work obligations, or family commitments. They may also experience relationship problems and display extreme mood and behavioural changes, affecting their well-being and the well-being of those around them.
If you recognise these signs in your partner, it is crucial to address the issue directly and honestly. Communicate your concerns clearly and set boundaries to support their sobriety journey while maintaining a healthy distance to avoid an unhealthy or codependent dynamic. Encourage your partner to seek professional help and consider contacting support groups such as Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) or Al-Anon, which offers assistance to both individuals struggling with alcoholism and their loved ones. Remember, it is essential to take care of your own well-being while supporting your partner through their journey towards recovery.
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They will experience withdrawal symptoms if they stop drinking
Alcohol withdrawal refers to symptoms that may occur when a person who has been drinking heavily on a regular basis suddenly stops drinking. If your partner has alcohol use disorder (AUD), they will experience withdrawal symptoms if they stop drinking.
Alcohol withdrawal can range from mild to severe symptoms. The severity and length of alcohol withdrawal vary based on several factors. Symptoms typically begin within six to 24 hours of stopping or significantly decreasing heavy, long-term alcohol use. Mild symptoms include headache, mild anxiety, insomnia, nervousness, irritability, excessive sweating, upset stomach, and heart palpitations. These symptoms can increase in intensity and develop into more severe symptoms such as increased blood pressure, increased heart rate, high body temperature, and tremors. In more severe cases, individuals may experience hallucinations and delirium tremens, a life-threatening condition.
Withdrawal symptoms tend to peak within 24 to 74 hours after the last drink but can last for several days or weeks. Some people may experience prolonged withdrawal symptoms, including insomnia and mood changes, that can persist for weeks or even months. It is important to seek medical attention if your partner is experiencing alcohol withdrawal, especially if they are displaying severe symptoms.
If you are concerned that your partner may be struggling with alcohol use disorder and will experience withdrawal symptoms if they stop drinking, there are several signs to look out for. People with AUD tend to prioritize alcohol over other commitments and will drink at any time of day to satisfy their cravings. They may also only attend events where alcohol is available and spend time with others who drink frequently. Additionally, they may become easily irritated and upset when they haven't had a drink in a while.
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They will be defensive about their drinking and deny they have a problem
Alcohol use disorder (AUD) is a chronic and potentially life-threatening condition characterised by a person's inability to control their drinking. Alcoholism is a progressive disease that develops over time, and the signs can be subtle. When someone at risk continues to drink, the signs become more apparent and numerous until the problem becomes obvious.
People who struggle with alcoholism will often deny they have a problem and become defensive when confronted about their drinking. They will make excuses for why they drink and minimise how bad their issue is. They may even become irate when their excessive consumption is brought up.
If your partner has a drinking problem, they may accuse you of trying to control them if you suggest they cut back. They may also ask you to cover for them when they are drunk, for example, by calling their work and telling them they are sick. They might also borrow money from you due to spending all their money on alcohol.
If you are concerned that your partner has a drinking problem, it is important to stay honest in the relationship. You can express that you are hurting and that the relationship is suffering, and ask them to seek help for their addiction. It is also crucial to set boundaries and seek support for yourself. You can encourage your partner to seek professional help and consider ending the relationship if necessary for your safety.
Remember, alcoholism is a disease, and your partner may be unable to control their drinking habits. They may continue to drink even when facing negative consequences and health issues. They may also experience withdrawal symptoms when trying to quit, such as nausea, sweating, or rapid heartbeat.
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They will spend money on alcohol instead of other things
Alcohol addiction can cause a shift in an individual's priorities, which may manifest in their spending habits. If you are dating someone with an alcohol use disorder (AUD), you may notice that they always seem to have enough money for alcohol but not for other things. For example, they may not be able to afford a dinner date but can still purchase drinks at a bar. They may also borrow money from you or others and spend it on alcohol instead of essential purchases or financial obligations. This can lead to a cascade of problematic consequences, such as missing work, legal troubles, or losing relationships.
People with AUD tend to be resourceful in ensuring they can afford alcohol. They may engage in at least three drinks per day and do their serious drinking alone to hide the actual amount they consume. They may also suggest social activities that involve drinking, such as going to a bar after a date night or a movie. Their social circle may also consist primarily of other drinkers, as it can be easier to justify their drinking habits in such company.
If you are concerned that your partner may have a drinking problem, it is important to communicate your concerns clearly and set boundaries. You can support them on their sobriety journey while also maintaining a healthy distance to avoid an unhealthy or codependent dynamic. It may be helpful to connect with support groups, such as Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) or Al-Anon, which offer resources and support for both individuals struggling with addiction and their loved ones.
It can be challenging to identify a high-functioning alcoholic due to their denial and your emotional involvement. However, it is crucial to be honest and direct in addressing the issue. Rehearse what you want to say beforehand, and approach the conversation from a supportive and loving place rather than a judgmental or accusing one. Remember that your well-being is important, and consider seeking support for yourself as well.
Recognising the signs of alcohol addiction and taking steps to address it can help prevent emotional and psychological damage to both you and your partner. It is important to be aware of spending habits that prioritise alcohol over other financial obligations as this can be a significant indicator of AUD.
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Frequently asked questions
Alcohol use disorder (AUD) can be difficult to spot, especially in the early stages of dating. However, here are some signs that your partner may be struggling with alcoholism:
- Their social activities revolve around alcohol, and they only attend events where alcohol is available.
- They drink at any time of day and are unable to limit their alcohol intake or quit drinking altogether.
- They experience mood swings and personality changes, becoming irritable, aggressive, or violent after drinking.
- They have a family history of AUD or were exposed to alcohol at an early age.
- They drink alone and in secret, and they binge drink to satisfy their cravings.
Dating an alcoholic can have negative consequences on your life and well-being. Alcoholism affects the social, psychological, and physical aspects of a relationship and can cause emotional damage, heartache, and even trauma. Your partner's drinking may impact their ability to maintain their job, finances, and relationships. They may also engage in risky behaviours that endanger themselves and others, such as driving under the influence or having unprotected sex.
If you suspect your partner is an alcoholic, it is important to stay honest and direct in the relationship. Communicate your concerns clearly and set boundaries to maintain your own health and well-being. Encourage your partner to seek professional help and support groups, such as Alcoholics Anonymous (AA). You can also reach out to support groups for friends and family of alcoholics, such as Al-Anon. If your partner denies having a problem or becomes defensive, you may need to consider ending the relationship for your safety.
