Lena Savoie
Alcoholism is a chronic condition that causes anguish not only for the alcoholic but also for those around them. It is characterised by an inability to control drinking despite negative consequences. Living with an alcoholic can be challenging due to the mood swings, impulsiveness, and emotional outbursts that often accompany the disease. It is important to understand that while you cannot control or cure their drinking, there are ways to support them and protect yourself. This may include educating yourself about the disorder, setting boundaries, seeking professional help, and joining support groups like Alcoholics Anonymous. Additionally, it is crucial to prioritise self-care and maintain connections with supportive family and friends. If you are the one struggling with alcoholism, the first step is acknowledging the problem and seeking help from a GP or local community alcohol services. Setting clear drinking goals and removing temptations can also aid in recovery.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Recognise the problem | The first step to getting help is to recognise that there is a problem. |
| Seek professional help | Consult a GP or a specialist treatment centre to discuss the best steps forward. Medicine may be required to help with withdrawal symptoms. |
| Set clear drinking goals | Establish specific, realistic, and clear drinking goals, such as committing to days without drinking. |
| Remove temptations | Get rid of alcohol and alcohol-related items from your surroundings. |
| Announce your goal | Let your support system know about your goal and ask for their support. |
| Avoid bad influences | Distance yourself from people who don't support your efforts to stop drinking or respect your limits. |
| Learn from the past | Reflect on previous attempts to stop drinking and identify what worked and what didn't. |
| Educate yourself and others | Learn about substance use disorders, including diagnostic criteria, withdrawal symptoms, detox, and treatment options. |
| Maintain a level of normality | Stick to a routine, including work, meals, relaxation, and sleep. |
| Focus on yourself and your support system | Prioritise your physical and mental health and that of your support system. |
| Step back | Allow the person struggling with alcohol addiction to experience a crisis, as this may help them recognise the need for change. |
| Take time for self-care | Carve out time to do things that make you happy and spend time with supportive people. |
| Join support groups | Support groups like Alcoholics Anonymous offer a safe space to share experiences and gain insights. |
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What You'll Learn
Recognise the problem and seek help
Recognising that you have a problem with alcohol is the first step towards recovery. Alcoholism can cause anguish not only for the person drinking but also for everyone involved with them. If you are living with an alcoholic, it is important to understand that you did not cause their drinking, you cannot control it, and you cannot cure it. While you cannot control their drinking, there are steps you can take to help them and protect yourself.
If you are the one struggling with alcohol use disorder, it is important to be honest with yourself about your drinking habits and the problems it may be causing you and those around you. Consider reaching out to a trusted friend or family member, a teacher, a school counsellor, a doctor, a therapist, or a relative. You can also seek help from your GP or alcohol services, who can provide you with different types of assessments and support options, such as local community alcohol services, free local support groups, and alcohol counselling.
If you are supporting someone with an alcohol problem, it is crucial to prioritise your own well-being and set boundaries. This may include establishing rules such as no alcohol in the house, no abusive language or insults, and no visits from drinking buddies or toxic influences. Educate yourself about substance use disorders, including the diagnostic criteria, withdrawal symptoms, detox, and treatment options. You can also encourage your loved one to seek professional help and support them through their recovery journey. However, it is important to remember that the decision to change must ultimately come from the person struggling with alcohol use disorder.
There are various support groups and resources available for both individuals struggling with alcoholism and their loved ones. These include Alcoholics Anonymous (AA), a free self-help group, and Al-Anon Family Groups, which offer support and understanding to the families and friends of problem drinkers. Additionally, there are national helplines such as Drinkline and the National Association for Children of Alcoholics (Nacoa) helpline that provide confidential support and guidance.
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Set clear drinking goals
Setting clear drinking goals is a crucial step towards overcoming alcohol addiction. It is important to be realistic and specific about what you want to achieve. This could mean committing to a complete cessation of alcohol consumption or reducing alcohol intake to healthier levels.
If you are an alcoholic, it is advisable to aim for abstinence, as, by definition, alcoholism indicates a loss of control over drinking habits. However, if you are not ready to quit entirely or do not have an alcohol abuse problem, you can still set goals to cut back for personal or health reasons. In such cases, it is important to establish a drinking limit, such as no more than one drink per day for women and two drinks per day for men, with some alcohol-free days included.
To make your goals more tangible, it is helpful to set a quit date or specific days when you will abstain from drinking. For example, you could decide to stop drinking on weekdays or limit your alcohol consumption on weekends. These goals can be further broken down into smaller, achievable milestones, such as gradually reducing the number of drinks per day or week over a set period.
Writing down your drinking goals and keeping them in visible places, such as on your phone or refrigerator, can serve as a constant reminder and help you stay committed. It is also beneficial to keep a record of your drinking patterns to track your progress and identify areas where you may need extra support.
Additionally, sharing your goals with friends, family, and colleagues can help you build a supportive network. Informing them of your intentions can also help them understand your needs and encourage them to support your recovery by refraining from drinking in your presence.
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Remove temptations
Removing temptations is a crucial step in the journey to overcome alcohol addiction. Here are some strategies to help you remove temptations and stay on the path to recovery:
Identify triggers
The first step in removing temptations is understanding what triggers them in the first place. Alcohol addiction often stems from certain events, emotions, or sensations that can be triggered by different stimuli. Identify the people, places, things, or times of day that trigger your urge to drink. Recognizing these triggers will enable you to develop strategies to avoid or manage them effectively.
Create a supportive environment
Protect your space by removing alcohol and any alcohol-related items from your home and workplace. This includes getting rid of alcoholic beverages, barware, and any paraphernalia that reminds you of drinking. Additionally, inform your friends, family, and colleagues about your goal to quit drinking. Request their support by asking them not to drink in front of you and to respect your boundaries.
Avoid high-risk situations
Stay away from activities and events where alcohol is involved, especially in the early stages of your recovery. Politely decline invitations and suggest alternative activities that don't involve drinking, such as going for a walk or watching a movie. It's okay to prioritize your sobriety, and true friends will understand and respect your decision.
Build a support network
Alcohol addiction can be isolating, and having a support system is crucial to staying on track. Consider joining support groups, such as Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) or SMART Recovery groups, where you can connect with others going through similar experiences. These groups can provide valuable guidance, empathy, and accountability. Additionally, seek professional help through therapy or counseling to address the underlying causes of your addiction and develop healthy coping mechanisms.
Distract yourself
When urges arise, find alternative activities to distract yourself and take your mind off drinking. Exercise is a powerful tool for fighting temptation. Go for a run or engage in a physical activity that releases endorphins, helping you clear your mind and refocus. You can also try meditation, yoga, or picking up a new hobby to redirect your thoughts and energy.
Remember, removing temptations is a process, and it may take time to find what works best for you. Be patient with yourself, and don't be afraid to seek professional help if needed.
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Seek support from friends, family, and professionals
Alcohol abuse and addiction, or "alcohol use disorder", affect not only the person drinking but also their families and loved ones. Watching a friend or family member struggle with a drinking problem can be heartbreaking and frustrating. It can help to seek support from others, including friends, family, community, and support groups.
If you are supporting someone with an alcohol problem, you may find it beneficial to talk to a friend, family doctor, therapist, or counsellor. Dealing with an alcoholic's drinking problem can take a heavy toll on your health, outlook, and well-being. It is important to have people you can talk honestly and openly with about what you are going through. You could also join a support group such as Al-Anon, a free peer support group for families dealing with a loved one's alcohol abuse.
If your loved one is in denial about their problem or refuses to seek help, an intervention may be necessary. This is a structured, carefully planned event where close friends and family come together to express their concerns in a supportive yet firm manner. It is highly recommended to seek professional guidance for this.
You can encourage your friend or family member to get help by offering to accompany them to doctor appointments, group meetings, or counselling sessions. You can also sit with them while they call a helpline for advice. It is important to remember that recovery is an ongoing process that requires time and patience. Your loved one will need support and guidance to quit drinking, and they will also have to tackle the problems that led to their alcohol abuse.
When seeking professional help, your loved one may benefit from a tailored treatment plan that addresses any accompanying medical and mental health issues. It may be helpful to determine whether the treatment will be adapted to meet changing needs as they arise and how setbacks or relapses will be addressed. Behavioural therapies can help people develop skills to avoid and overcome triggers that might lead to drinking. Most people benefit from regular check-ins with a treatment provider. Intensive Outpatient Programs (IOPs) are ideal for those who need structured support but do not require 24/7 supervision, allowing them to continue living at home while attending therapy and counselling sessions.
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Protect your well-being and set boundaries
Protecting your well-being and setting boundaries are crucial when dealing with an alcoholic loved one. Here are some ways to do this:
Recognize the Impact on Your Well-being
Caring for an alcoholic loved one can be emotionally draining and stressful. It is important to recognize the toll it can take on your health, outlook, and well-being. Prioritize your own needs and happiness, and don't neglect your physical and mental health.
Seek Support
You don't have to go through this alone. Reach out to trusted friends, support groups, faith communities, or a therapist. Support groups like Al-Anon and Alateen offer comfort, support, and valuable tools for coping with a loved one's alcoholism. These groups provide a sense of community and understanding, helping you realize you are not alone in this struggle.
Manage Stress
Find healthy ways to manage the stress and anxiety that come with having an alcoholic loved one. Eating well, exercising, and getting enough sleep can help keep stress levels in check. Guided meditations can also assist in maintaining a calm and focused mindset during challenging times.
Set Clear Boundaries
Boundaries are essential for self-preservation and establishing respect. They create a safe and secure environment for both you and your loved one. Determine what behaviors are unacceptable to you, and set consequences for when those boundaries are crossed. For example, you might decide to leave as soon as your loved one has one drink, or you may choose not to engage in arguments when they are intoxicated.
Detach with Love
Enforcing boundaries can be challenging, and it may lead to separations. Remember that strong boundaries are necessary for your well-being and can motivate your loved one to seek help. Learn to detach with love, understanding that you cannot control their actions, but you can control how you respond and protect yourself.
Prioritize Your Safety
Always keep yourself safe. If you feel unsafe or sense that your loved one's environment has become dangerous, prioritize your safety and well-being by removing yourself from the situation.
Remember, each situation is unique, and there is no one-size-fits-all solution. Seek professional guidance if needed to navigate this challenging journey effectively.
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Frequently asked questions
It is important to remember that you are not the cause of their drinking, nor can you control or cure it. You can, however, provide information and support to make it easier for them to seek recovery. Educate yourself about substance use disorders, including diagnostic criteria, withdrawal symptoms, detox, and treatment options. You can also encourage them to seek professional help and support their recovery by creating a safe home environment.
Alcohol use disorder (AUD) is a chronic medical condition characterised by an inability to stop or control drinking despite health, social, or professional consequences. If you notice that someone is struggling to control their drinking, it may be a sign that they are an alcoholic. Other signs include mood swings, impulsiveness, and emotional outbursts.
Living with an alcoholic can be challenging and it is important to prioritise your own well-being. This includes doing things that make you happy, spending time with supportive family and friends, and seeking help through counselling or support groups like Al-Anon and Alcoholics Anonymous. It is also crucial to set boundaries and not enable the alcoholic's behaviour.
Treatment options for alcoholics include seeking professional help from a GP or therapist, attending mutual aid groups such as AA or SMART Recovery groups, and participating in rehabilitation programmes. It is important to note that overcoming alcoholism can be a long and challenging journey, and professional treatment is often necessary for successful recovery.
