Arielle Cruz
Alcohol use disorder (AUD) is a medical condition characterised by an impaired ability to stop or control alcohol use despite adverse social, occupational, or health consequences. It can be mild, moderate, or severe, and is considered a brain disorder. If you think a loved one has a drinking problem, you may want to help but don't know how. It is important to remember that you cannot force someone to stop abusing alcohol. However, there are several ways to support someone with an alcohol problem. This includes learning about alcohol use disorder, encouraging treatment, and providing ongoing support.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| First steps | Learn about alcohol use and addiction, and the different types of treatment available |
| Speaking to your loved one | Be open and honest about your concerns, but remember that you cannot force someone to stop drinking alcohol |
| Language | Avoid using labels such as "alcoholic" when discussing the problem |
| Actions to avoid | Do not preach, lecture, bribe, threaten or plead with the person affected |
| Support | Offer to accompany them to see a healthcare provider or addiction counsellor |
| Treatment | Evidence-based treatment with behavioural therapies, mutual-support groups, and/or medication can help people with alcohol use disorder achieve and maintain recovery |
| Self-help | Help your loved one find ways to distract themselves when cravings hit, such as calling someone, going for a walk, or riding out the urge |
| Relapse | If your loved one relapses, encourage them to recommit to overcoming their drinking problem and support them as they try again |
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What You'll Learn
Educate yourself about alcohol use and treatment options
If you think your loved one has a drinking problem, it's important to educate yourself about alcohol use and treatment options. Start by learning about alcohol use disorder (AUD), which is a medical condition characterised by an impaired ability to stop or control alcohol use despite adverse social, occupational, or health consequences. AUD can be mild, moderate, or severe, and is often referred to as alcoholism, alcohol abuse, alcohol dependence, or alcohol addiction. Understanding the signs of AUD can help you determine if your loved one is struggling with a drinking problem. These signs include craving alcohol, continuing to drink despite negative consequences, drinking more or longer than intended, and spending a lot of time recovering from hangovers.
Genetics and mental health conditions can also play a role in the development of AUD. People with a family history of AUD or mental health issues such as depression, PTSD, or ADHD may have an increased risk of developing the disorder. Understanding these risk factors can help you identify if your loved one is at risk and needs support.
There are various treatment options available for AUD, including medication, behavioural therapy, mutual-support groups, and a combination of these approaches. Medications such as naltrexone, acamprosate, and disulfiram can help reduce cravings and prevent relapse. Behavioural therapies, also known as alcohol counselling or talk therapy, aim to change drinking behaviour and develop coping skills. Mutual-support groups provide peer support and are often available in communities at low or no cost.
In addition to professional treatment options, you can also learn about self-help strategies to support your loved one. This includes helping them find distractions when cravings hit, such as calling someone, going for a walk, or riding out the urge. Remember, recovery is an ongoing process that requires time and patience. Your loved one may need your support and guidance throughout their journey, even after they have agreed to seek help.
Educating yourself about alcohol use and treatment options will empower you to have open and honest conversations with your loved one about their drinking. It will also enable you to provide them with the resources and support they need to seek help and work towards recovery.
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Encourage them to seek professional help
If your loved one is struggling with alcohol abuse, it is important to remember that you cannot force them to stop drinking, but you can offer support and resources. Here are some ways to encourage them to seek professional help:
Offer to Accompany Them
You can offer to go with your loved one to see a healthcare provider, addiction counsellor, or therapist. Their primary care provider may recommend an addiction treatment program or specialist. You can also suggest accompanying them to support groups or counselling sessions. It is important to remember that recovery is an ongoing process that requires time and patience.
Provide Information and Resources
Educate yourself about alcohol use disorder (AUD) and treatment options. You can read books, look online, or contact a healthcare provider for information. When you are informed about the different types of treatment available, you can better support your loved one and help them navigate the healthcare system.
Encourage Treatment and Provide Alternatives
Encourage your loved one to seek professional help early. Treatment options may include medication, behavioural therapy, and mutual support groups. If your loved one is already receiving treatment and relapses, suggest trying a new approach or different self-help groups. You can also help them find ways to distract themselves when cravings hit, such as calling someone, going for a walk, or riding out the urge.
Utilise Helplines and Text Services
You can encourage your loved one to reach out to helplines, such as the National Helpline for Mental Health, Drug, and Alcohol Issues. These services provide free, confidential referrals to treatment facilities, support groups, and community-based organisations. Additionally, text messaging services, such as the HELP4U service, can provide confidential treatment referrals by sending your zip code via text message.
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Support their recovery process
Supporting a loved one with an alcohol problem can be challenging, but there are several ways to help them through their recovery process. Here are some suggestions:
Offer Practical Support:
Firstly, offer practical support by accompanying your loved one to doctor's appointments, therapy or counselling sessions, and group meetings. You can also help them find resources and treatment options, such as mutual-support groups or self-help groups, which can provide valuable peer support and guidance. These groups are often available at low or no cost and can be easily accessible online or within the community.
Encourage Treatment and Provide Distractions:
Encourage your loved one to seek professional treatment and support them throughout the process. Help them develop new coping mechanisms and strategies to manage cravings and triggers. For example, suggest distractions such as going for a walk, calling someone, or engaging in an activity to ride out the urge to drink.
Be Patient and Provide Emotional Support:
Recovery is an ongoing process that requires time and patience. Understand that your loved one may face challenges and setbacks, and continue to offer emotional support and encouragement. It's important to remember that you cannot force someone to stop drinking, but you can provide a non-judgmental and supportive presence in their journey towards sobriety.
Take Care of Yourself:
Supporting someone with an alcohol problem can be emotionally demanding, so it's crucial to take care of your own well-being. Seek support from family, friends, or support groups specifically for families and friends of people with alcohol problems, such as Al-Anon. By prioritising your own health and well-being, you will be in a better position to support your loved one.
Avoid Enabling Behaviour:
While providing support, be mindful not to enable your loved one's drinking problem. Don't make excuses for their behaviour, take on their responsibilities, or argue with them when they've been drinking. Set clear boundaries and maintain them to avoid enabling and to protect your own mental health.
Remember, recovery from an alcohol problem is a journey that requires ongoing commitment, patience, and support. By offering practical assistance, emotional support, and encouragement to seek treatment, you can help your loved one navigate their recovery process.
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Avoid lecturing, pleading, or bribing
When supporting a loved one with an alcohol problem, it is important to remember that lecturing, pleading, or bribing them will not help. While it is natural to want to help, these methods can be counterproductive and may even push your loved one away.
Lecturing or preaching to someone about their alcohol problem can make them feel defensive or resentful. It is important to avoid sounding like you are talking down to them or that you are the authority on their life and choices. Instead, try to approach the topic from a place of concern and empathy.
Pleading with someone to stop drinking can also be ineffective. It may make them feel guilty or ashamed, which can lead to further problems. It is important to remember that your loved one is likely struggling and may already feel a lot of guilt and shame about their drinking. Adding to those feelings will not help them or encourage them to seek help.
Similarly, bribing someone to stop drinking is not a sustainable solution. It may work in the short term, but it does not address the underlying issues that led to their alcohol problem. It is also important to remember that recovery from an alcohol problem is not about abstinence alone but also about developing healthier coping mechanisms and making lasting behavioural changes.
Instead of lecturing, pleading, or bribing, try having an open and honest conversation with your loved one about your concerns. Offer your support and let them know that you are there for them without judgement. Encourage them to seek professional help, such as counselling or therapy, and offer to go with them to appointments or meetings. Remember that recovery is an ongoing process and that your loved one will need ongoing support, guidance, and new coping skills to quit or cut back on their drinking.
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Prioritise your own health and set boundaries
When supporting someone with an alcohol problem, it is crucial to prioritise your own well-being and establish clear boundaries. Here are some essential guidelines to follow:
Prioritise your own self-care: Supporting a loved one with an alcohol problem can be emotionally draining and challenging. Make sure you practice self-care and seek your own support system. This can include asking other family members or friends for help, joining support groups such as Al-Anon, or even seeking individual counselling. Taking care of yourself is not selfish; it is necessary to ensure you have the capacity to help your loved one effectively.
Set clear boundaries: Establish boundaries that ensure you are not enabling your loved one's drinking behaviour and that you are protecting your own mental health. For example, do not lie or make excuses for their drinking, and do not take on their responsibilities. While it is important to be supportive, enabling their behaviour can hinder their recovery and negatively impact your own well-being.
Avoid arguing or preaching: It is important to have open and honest conversations about their drinking, but avoid lecturing, pleading, or arguing, especially when your loved one has been drinking. These conversations can be difficult, but try to remain calm and non-judgmental. Remember, the goal is to encourage them to seek help and support their journey towards recovery.
Do not feel guilty: Recognise that your loved one's drinking is not your fault. You are not responsible for their behaviour, and you cannot control it. While you can offer support and guidance, their recovery is ultimately their responsibility. This can be a challenging realisation, but it is important to maintain healthy boundaries and expectations.
Encourage professional help: While you can provide emotional support, it is crucial that your loved one also seeks professional help. Offer to accompany them to appointments, group meetings, or counselling sessions. Help them find resources and treatment options, and encourage them to take concrete steps towards recovery. Remember, recovery is an ongoing process, and your loved one may need ongoing support and guidance.
By prioritising your own health and setting boundaries, you can effectively support your loved one while also maintaining your own well-being. It is important to remember that you cannot force someone to recover, but by providing a supportive and non-judgmental environment, you can make a significant positive impact on their journey.
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Frequently asked questions
Drinking problems are not measured by how often someone drinks or how much they drink. It is about how drinking affects their life. Your loved one may have a drinking problem if they are continuing to drink despite the damage it is doing to their relationships, or if they are planning their life around their next drink. Alcohol use disorder (AUD) is a medical condition characterised by an impaired ability to stop or control alcohol use despite adverse social, occupational or health consequences.
First, learn as much as you can about alcohol use and addiction. You can do this by reading books, looking online, or asking a healthcare provider for information. Offer to accompany your loved one to see a healthcare provider or addiction counsellor. You can also encourage them to call a helpline for advice. Remember, you cannot force your loved one to get help, but you can offer your support.
Treatment options include medication and behavioural therapy. Doctors can prescribe medications to address withdrawal symptoms and make the process safer and less distressing. Behavioural therapies can help people develop skills to avoid and overcome triggers that might lead to drinking. Mutual-support groups can also offer a valuable layer of support.
