Arielle Cruz
Living with a person suffering from alcohol addiction can be challenging, and there may come a time when you need to remove them from your home. This is a complex and emotional decision, especially when the person is a family member or someone you love. Before taking any action, it is crucial to understand the warning signs of substance abuse and the specific issues your loved one is facing. It is also important to recognise that you cannot control their behaviour, but you can decide what behaviour you will accept. If you have tried to help your loved one and they are unwilling to change, it may be necessary to consider legal eviction to protect yourself and other household members. This process should be done carefully and without physical confrontation, following the specific laws in your area.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Reasons to remove an alcoholic from your home | Their behaviour is threatening or destructive; they are unwilling to change; their addiction is putting other members of the household at risk; they are becoming violent; to prompt them to take their addiction and recovery seriously |
| Steps to take | Learn the eviction process and laws in your area; give a written notice stating the eviction date and reason; file an eviction notice or an unlawful detainer lawsuit with your local court; work with law enforcement to conduct the eviction; avoid physical confrontation and discrimination based on addiction |
| Warning signs of substance abuse | Changes in appearance (weight, hair, eyes); changes in behaviour (mood swings, irritability, secrecy); neglecting responsibilities; absenteeism from work or school; financial problems; changes in sleep patterns; loss of interest in hobbies; paraphernalia around the house; the smell of alcohol or drugs |
| Help and treatment | Speak to a treatment provider or specialist; suggest a routine check-up; schedule an intervention; encourage them to seek help from a therapist or detoxification |
| What not to do | Attempt to guilt them into quitting; lecture or threaten them; enable their addiction by protecting them from the consequences of their actions; provide a "safety net" that allows them to skip work or lose their job without repercussions |
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What You'll Learn
Recognise the warning signs of alcohol abuse
Recognising the warning signs of alcohol abuse can be challenging, as some individuals may try to hide their drinking habits or downplay the problem. However, it is crucial to be vigilant and aware of the signs to help prevent alcohol abuse from spiralling out of control. Here are some key warning signs to look out for:
Behavioural Changes
Behavioural changes are often noticeable when a person is struggling with alcohol abuse. They may start neglecting their responsibilities at work, school, or home, including neglecting their children or other family obligations. They might give up important social activities, hobbies, or interests to prioritise drinking. This can lead to social isolation and distancing from friends and family members.
Increased Tolerance and Withdrawal Symptoms
Pay attention to the amount and frequency of alcohol consumption. A person struggling with alcohol abuse may need to drink increasingly larger amounts to achieve the desired effects or to function "normally". They may also experience withdrawal symptoms when they try to reduce or stop drinking, such as nausea, mood swings, irritability, tremors, insomnia, or overall sickness.
Negative Impact on Health and Safety
Alcohol abuse can have detrimental effects on a person's health and safety. Look out for signs of drinking in physically hazardous situations, such as driving or operating machinery while intoxicated. Additionally, alcohol abuse can worsen existing medical or mental health conditions. If a person continues to drink despite the negative impact on their health and safety, it is a significant warning sign.
Craving Alcohol and Loss of Control
A person struggling with alcohol abuse may exhibit a strong craving for alcoholic beverages and spend excessive time obtaining, consuming, or recovering from the effects of alcohol. They may plan their life around their next drink and feel a loss of control over their consumption, repeatedly trying and failing to cut down or stop drinking.
Mood and Personality Changes
Alcohol abuse can lead to noticeable changes in mood and personality. The person may experience irritability, extreme mood swings, and increased anxiety or stress when alcohol is not available. They may also exhibit signs of defensiveness or denial about their drinking habits, blaming others or external circumstances for their behaviour.
It is important to remember that the warning signs of alcohol abuse can vary from person to person, and some signs may be more subtle or challenging to identify. If you suspect that someone you know is struggling with alcohol abuse, it is crucial to seek help early on and encourage them to get the treatment they need.
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Understand the eviction process
Eviction means expelling someone and removing tenants who won't leave. While the term typically refers to formal landlord-tenant situations, eviction can also happen in households among loved ones. Removing an individual from their home—whether they pay rent or not—is a process that is heavily regulated and expensive for all people involved.
If the alcoholic in your home is abusive toward any family members—whether this is physical, emotional, or sexual abuse—you can file an order of exclusive occupancy. You will need to gather evidence of the abuse to ensure that you can build a case for the order to go through. If there is abuse in your home, you must consider your safety or the safety of others in your home and evict your loved one.
If the addicted person is not willing to seek help or treatment, or if their addiction is putting other members of the household at risk, then it may be time to evict them. Once you have made the decision to evict a tenant or family member with an addiction, there are certain legal steps that you need to take.
Firstly, you will need to give them a written notice that states their eviction date and the reason for their eviction. Next, you will need to file an unlawful detainer lawsuit with your local court. Once the court has issued a writ of possession, you will then be able to have the sheriff’s department escort them off of the property.
You will need representation in court, as the eviction process can be quite complicated and you don’t want to risk making any mistakes. The third step is to attend the court hearing and present your case. The judge will then decide whether or not to grant the eviction. If they do, the tenant will be given a certain amount of time to vacate the property, usually 30 days.
If the alcoholic is a tenant, you must go through the proper eviction channels. A landlord needs to prove that the person broke rules and regulations or poses a threat. Provide a warning, and if this is not effective, get law enforcement involved.
If the alcoholic is a family member, you might want to begin by getting legal advice and support from others. It is best to get legal help when you need a family member to leave your home.
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Learn how to set boundaries
Living with a family member or friend who is struggling with a substance use disorder can be challenging. It is important to remember that their addiction is out of your control, but you must also make sure to take care of yourself first. Setting healthy boundaries with an alcoholic can be difficult but it is important for many reasons.
Boundaries are a way of establishing respect for yourself and the alcoholic or addict. They help to create a safe and secure environment in which the person struggling with addiction can take steps toward recovery without feeling overwhelmed. Setting boundaries with an alcoholic spouse provides a sense of stability and predictability. It allows you to define what behaviours are acceptable and communicate the consequences of crossing those boundaries.
By clearly communicating your boundaries, you help your spouse understand the impact of their actions and encourage them to take responsibility for their behaviour. It is important to remember that resistance may arise due to established patterns and unspoken rules in the relationship. However, enforcing boundaries can ultimately improve the relationship and reinforce commitment.
- Stay firm: Stand your ground and maintain the boundaries you have set. Consistency is key in establishing and reinforcing boundaries.
- Seek support: Reach out to support networks such as friends, family, or support groups for guidance and encouragement.
- Detach with love: Detaching with love means focusing on your own well-being and not allowing the consequences of addiction to harm your mental health.
Remember, a boundary without a consequence is worthless. Some of the consequences will involve distancing yourself, and while it can be very painful to do, it is perfectly acceptable to tell them that you love them, but you cannot be around them while they are drinking or using.
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Seek legal and law enforcement assistance
Seeking legal and law enforcement assistance is crucial when removing an alcoholic from your home. The specific steps may vary depending on your relationship with the person, whether they are a tenant or family member, and the laws in your area. Here is a general guide to help you navigate the process:
Consult Legal Professionals:
First, consult an attorney or legal professional who can guide you through the legal eviction process. They will be well-versed in the laws and regulations specific to your region. These professionals can advise you on the necessary steps, potential risks associated with eviction, and how to protect yourself legally.
Understand the Laws:
Learn about the relevant laws in your state or country. For instance, in the United States, the Fair Housing Act prohibits discrimination in housing due to disabilities, which include alcoholism and substance use disorders. Thus, understanding the legal protections afforded to tenants is essential before proceeding.
Provide a Warning:
If safe to do so, consider providing the alcoholic tenant or family member with a verbal or written warning. This step may not be feasible if the person has aggressive or violent tendencies. However, for some individuals, a warning could be an impetus for positive change.
Gather Evidence:
If civil discussions and warnings are ineffective, you may need to gather evidence of the alcoholic's disruptive or abusive behavior. This evidence can include filmed footage, photographs, paraphernalia, or sworn testimonies. Having substantial evidence will strengthen your case when filing for eviction.
File for Eviction:
Proceed by filing an eviction notice with your local court. Each jurisdiction may have specific requirements for this process, so ensure you understand the local laws. Working with legal professionals can ensure you navigate this step effectively.
Involve Law Enforcement:
In many states or regions, law enforcement authorities must oversee the eviction process. They can help ensure the safety of all involved and prevent any potential physical confrontations during the removal. Law enforcement will assist in escorting the alcoholic off the property once the court has issued the necessary orders.
Remember, while seeking legal and law enforcement assistance, it is also important to consider the well-being of the alcoholic. Encourage them to seek treatment and contact local rehabilitation centers to inquire about available resources and waiting lists.
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Find treatment solutions
If you are considering removing an alcoholic from your home, it is important to know how to find treatment solutions for them.
Firstly, it is crucial to understand the specific issues that your loved one is facing. Do your research and learn about the different stages of addiction. This will help you determine the best course of action and whether you can talk one-on-one with them or if they are too far gone. Suggest or schedule a routine check-up appointment with a medical professional.
Next, you can encourage your loved one to seek professional help. This could be in the form of therapy, detoxification, or rehab. You can also suggest support groups such as Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) or organisations like Al-Anon, which help loved ones of people with alcohol use disorders. Remember, you cannot control whether they quit drinking, but you can decide what kind of behaviour you will accept.
If your loved one is underage, the situation becomes more complex and emotional. If they are under 18, you will need to file for emancipation to remove them from your home, which can be a complicated and time-consuming process.
It is important to note that you should not attempt to guilt your loved one into quitting. Instead, focus on encouraging them to seek help and providing them with the support they need.
Finally, remember to take care of yourself during this process. Dealing with a loved one's addiction can be emotionally draining, and it is important to set boundaries and detach yourself to a degree so that you can look at the situation objectively.
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Frequently asked questions
If the alcoholic is unwilling to change or seek help, continuing to abuse alcohol despite your efforts to help them, or if their addiction is putting other members of the household at risk, then it may be time to consider removing them from your home. Some warning signs of alcohol addiction include paraphernalia around the house, such as bottles, cans, or alcohol containers, and the smell of alcohol on their breath or clothing.
First, you need to give them a written notice stating their eviction date and the reason for their eviction. Next, you will need to file an unlawful detainer lawsuit with your local court. Once the court has issued a writ of possession, you can have the sheriff's department or law enforcement escort them off the property. It is important to learn the laws in your area before making a formal eviction notice.
Avoid any physical confrontation during the removal. Do not force your way into locked rooms or apartments, dump or throw away their property, or prevent them from entering the property. Do not harass the person via phone calls or emails. Be aware of the laws in your state, as they may limit your options when it comes to forcing a person out of your home.
You can suggest or schedule a routine check-up appointment with a doctor or treatment specialist. Interventions can also be an effective approach to helping your loved ones. Al-Anon is an organization that helps loved ones of people with alcohol use disorders cope with their behaviors. It is important to remember that you cannot control whether a loved one quits drinking, but you can decide what kind of behavior you will or will not accept in your life.
Enabling is when you protect someone who is misusing alcohol from facing the consequences of their actions. For example, if you are paying their bills, providing them with food and a place to live, or giving them rides after they have lost their driver's license due to alcohol use, you may be enabling their addiction.
