Theo Nash
Living with a family member who is struggling with alcohol addiction and abuse can be challenging and dangerous. If your loved one is willing to seek help, it is best to help them find treatment options. However, if they are unwilling to get help, continuing to abuse alcohol, or putting your family at risk, you may need to consider evicting them. Eviction procedures vary depending on your relationship with the person, whether they are a tenant, and the state laws where you reside. It is important to understand the legal ramifications and seek professional help when making the difficult decision to evict an alcoholic and abusive family member.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Emotional attachment | The presence of emotional attachment can make the eviction process more complex. |
| Treatment options | It is better to help a loved one find treatment options rather than evict them without a plan. |
| Evidence | Evidence of abuse or substance use disorder, such as filmed footage, paraphernalia, or sworn testimonies, can be gathered to strengthen the case for eviction. |
| Legal assistance | Seeking legal assistance from a lawyer or attorney is recommended to navigate the eviction process and ensure compliance with state laws and notice requirements. |
| Warning | A verbal or written warning can be given to the family member before initiating the eviction process. |
| Law enforcement | Law enforcement authorities can be contacted to report the situation and assist in the eviction process if needed. |
| Eviction notice | A written eviction notice stating the reason for eviction and the date by which the family member must leave the property is typically required. |
| Restraining order | In cases of abuse or threats, a restraining order or order of protection can be obtained to legally prevent the family member from returning to the property. |
| Safety | The safety of all family members should be a priority when deciding whether to evict an alcoholic and abusive family member. |
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What You'll Learn
Seek legal and law enforcement assistance
Eviction may not be the best solution for an individual with a substance use disorder. Treatment can be effective, and nearly one-third of people who receive treatment for alcohol addiction are symptom-free after a year. If your loved one is willing to get help, it is best to help them find treatment options rather than evict them without a plan. However, if the person is not willing to seek treatment, is continuing to abuse substances, or is putting other members of the household at risk, eviction may be necessary.
If you are considering evicting an alcoholic family member, it is important to seek legal and law enforcement assistance to ensure that you are following the proper procedures and protecting yourself and your family. Here are some steps to take:
- Consult a lawyer or legal professional: Eviction laws can vary from state to state, and a lawyer will be able to advise you on the specific laws and procedures in your area. They can also inform you about the risks related to eviction and how to avoid them.
- Gather evidence: If the alcoholic family member is abusive or posing a threat, you will need to gather evidence to support your case. This can include video footage, pictures, paraphernalia, sworn testimonies, and other information.
- File a report with law enforcement: If the family member is engaging in illegal activities, such as drug use or criminal threats, you can report the situation to the police. They may be able to arrest the individual or help you with the eviction process.
- Give a warning: Before proceeding with a formal eviction, it is generally recommended to give the family member a verbal or written warning to vacate the premises. This can be done directly or through a lawyer.
- File an eviction notice: If the family member refuses to leave, you can file an eviction notice with your local court. This will allow you to work with law enforcement to conduct the eviction. Make sure to follow the proper procedures and provide the required notice period.
- Seek a restraining order or order of protection: If the family member is abusive or threatening, you may be able to obtain a restraining order or order of protection against them. This will legally prevent them from returning to the property and can include confiscating any weapons they may have.
It is important to remember that evicting a family member can be a complex and emotional process. Seeking legal and law enforcement assistance can help ensure that the process is handled safely and effectively.
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File an order of protection
If you are experiencing abuse at the hands of a family member, you can file for a restraining order or an order of protection. An order of protection is a court order signed by a judge that forbids the abuser from causing you harm or threatening you. It can also order the abuser to vacate the home you are living in.
To file for an order of protection, you must first decide on the relief you want from the court. You will need to tell the judge specifically what you want the order to say. This could include ordering the respondent (the abuser) not to hurt, harass, or disturb you or your children, not to contact you, to stay a specific distance from you and your residence, to allow you access to your personal property, and to not possess a firearm or other weapons. You can also ask the judge to order the respondent to attend alcohol counselling.
You will need to complete a few court forms and provide details about the abuse. You can ask people who have witnessed the abuse to testify at the hearing. You do not need a lawyer to file for an order of protection, but it is often best to have legal representation to ensure your rights are protected. If you cannot afford a lawyer, the judge may appoint one for you if the abuser has legal representation.
If you are in immediate danger, you can request a temporary order of protection, which a judge can grant without the abuser being in court. This will protect you until a full hearing can take place, usually within two weeks. The temporary order can be extended if needed. After the hearing, the judge will decide whether to grant a permanent order of protection and for how long it will last.
In some states, such as Illinois, you can file for a Civil No Contact Order, which can protect you and your family or household members from an abuser. You can file this order in the county where you live, where the abuser lives, or where the incident(s) occurred. You can also file for a Stalking No Contact Order if you are being stalked or monitored by the abuser.
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Learn state laws and set boundaries
Eviction may not be the best solution when dealing with a family member who has a substance use disorder. Treatment can be effective, with nearly one-third of people who receive treatment for alcohol addiction recovering after a year. However, if eviction is the only option, it is important to understand the relevant state laws and set boundaries.
State laws vary, and it is important to understand your rights and responsibilities as a homeowner or leaseholder. In some states, such as Florida, there are specific laws that prohibit certain actions during the eviction process, such as shutting off utility services or changing locks before the eviction is finalized. It is also important to note that discrimination against individuals with disabilities, including addiction, is prohibited by the Fair Housing Act.
If your family member is on the lease, you will need to comply with the terms of the lease and state laws regarding eviction. Most lease agreements allow for termination due to substance use or illegal activities. If your family member is not on the lease, they may be considered an at-will tenant and can be evicted after complying with state notice requirements. In either case, it is important to serve the eviction notice properly and wait the appropriate amount of time before taking further action.
Seeking legal advice or consulting with a lawyer can be helpful to ensure you are following the correct procedures and avoiding any potential legal issues. The process for evicting a family member can vary, and it may be more complicated if rent was paid or if there was an informal rental agreement. Understanding your rights and the rights of your family member is crucial to navigating the eviction process effectively.
Boundaries are essential when dealing with a family member's substance use disorder. It is important to remember that the family environment plays a significant role in enabling or hindering the substance user's behaviour. Setting clear and consistent boundaries can help prevent manipulation and resentment within the family. Family members should work together to create a supportive and healthy environment that encourages the substance user to seek help and make positive changes.
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Gather evidence of abuse and/or substance abuse
If you are in immediate danger, call the police or emergency services. If you are experiencing abuse or curious about healthy relationships, you can also contact the National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline at 866-311-9474 or the National Domestic Violence Hotline.
It is important to note that each state has different laws about what evidence and documentation can be used in court. Speaking with a legal advocate or attorney in your state might better prepare you for your unique situation.
- Take pictures: Use a disposable camera or have someone else take the pictures and keep them for you.
- Save digital evidence: Take screenshots of threatening texts, emails, or voicemails and send them to a trusted contact for safekeeping.
- Recordings: Call a trusted friend or family member during an incident and ask them to record it on their phone. You can also use an app like ICE BlackBox, which automatically stores videos in the cloud and sends them to your emergency contact.
- Witnesses: Find someone who can corroborate your account of the abuse, such as a bystander witness or a qualified mental health counselor trained in domestic violence trauma who can testify on your behalf (known as an expert witness).
- Medical documentation: Visit your doctor or healthcare provider and ask them about safe ways to make notes about any injuries or signs of abuse.
- Outside documentation: Reach out to trusted friends, family members, or coworkers who are aware of the situation and may be willing to provide documentation or store evidence for you.
- Substance abuse treatment records: If your family member is in treatment for substance abuse, you can obtain records or documentation from the treatment provider to demonstrate their history of substance abuse issues.
- Diary or log: Keep a diary or log of the abuse, including any incidents, threats, or other concerning behaviors. Store this in a safe place away from your home, such as with a trusted contact or in a secure digital location.
It is important to prioritize your safety when gathering evidence. Do not keep evidence in a place where the abuser can find it, and consider the possibility that they may have installed spyware on your devices. If possible, send evidence to a lawyer or trusted contact as soon as you obtain it to ensure it is secure and cannot be destroyed or accessed by the abuser.
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Help them find treatment
Alcoholism is a disease that affects not just the alcoholic but their entire family. It can be challenging to watch a family member struggle with alcoholism, especially when they are not receptive to help. However, there are several ways to help an alcoholic family member find treatment.
Educate Yourself About Alcohol Use Disorder (AUD):
AUD is a chronic medical condition that alters brain function and behaviour. It is characterised by a pattern of alcohol use that the individual finds difficult to control, a preoccupation with alcohol, and continued alcohol use despite negative personal and professional consequences. Understanding AUD can help you make informed choices when caring for yourself and your loved one.
Encourage Treatment and Offer Compassionate Support:
Start a conversation with your loved one, expressing your concerns with compassion and respect, and let them know they are not alone. Offer to help them find treatment options and accompany them to their first appointment or support group meeting. Provide information about local treatment centres, therapists, and support groups. Intensive Outpatient Programs (IOP) are an option for those who need structured support but do not require 24/7 supervision, allowing them to live at home while attending therapy and counselling sessions.
Involve the Family:
Family therapy can play a crucial role in repairing and improving family relationships. It can help family members understand the disease of addiction and set healthy boundaries.
Seek Professional Help:
Professional help can prevent a return to drinking by teaching skills to avoid triggers and manage stress. Behavioural therapies, regular check-ups with a treatment provider, and medications can all support long-term recovery.
Take Care of Yourself:
Caring for an alcoholic family member can be stressful, so it is important to find support for yourself as well. Seek help from friends, family, community, and support groups. Prioritise your own mental health and well-being, and if needed, consider seeking professional help for yourself.
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Frequently asked questions
If your alcoholic family member is abusive, you can file an order of exclusive occupancy or a domestic violence restraining order. If they are threatening or abusive, the police will be able to remove them and confiscate any weapons. If they are a tenant, you will need to give them a written notice that states the reason for their eviction and the date by which they must leave.
If your family member refuses to leave, you can file for an eviction with the courts. If they have responded to your actions and you have provided sufficient evidence of substance abuse and its dangerous implications, the courts will be able to help you work with law enforcement to conduct the eviction.
If your family member is a minor, the situation becomes more complex and emotional. As a parent, you will want to help your child get sober while also protecting yourself and your other family members. You should consider finding treatment help for your child, such as sober living homes or inpatient rehab.
If your family member is willing to get help, it is best to help them find treatment options rather than evict them. However, you must still be firm and set limits on what behaviours you will allow in your home.
