Dealing With An Obsessive, Alcoholic Ex-Friend

Dealing with an obsessive ex-friend who is an alcoholic can be challenging and emotionally draining. It is important to first acknowledge that the situation is not your fault and that you are not alone. Seeking support from friends, family, and professionals can provide you with the emotional strength and practical strategies to navigate this difficult time. To protect yourself, it is advisable to cut all contact with your ex-friend, including blocking them on social media and avoiding any physical encounters. Additionally, removing reminders of them from your surroundings can aid in reducing obsessive thoughts and helping you move forward. While it may be tempting to confront them or give in to their advances, it is crucial to stay firm and not fall into the trap of believing they will change. Standing your ground and focusing on your well-being is key to overcoming this challenging situation.

Seek support from friends, family, and professionals

Dealing with an obsessive ex friend who is an alcoholic can be a challenging and distressing experience. Seeking support from trusted sources can help you navigate this difficult situation and protect your well-being. Here are some ways to seek support from your friends, family, and professionals:

Friends and Family:

• Involve your support system: Confide in your friends and family members about the situation. They can provide emotional support, help you process your feelings, and offer practical assistance. It is normal to feel embarrassed or scared to disclose such information, but your support system will understand and want to help.
• Create distance: Inform mutual friends about the situation and request their support in maintaining distance from your ex. This includes avoiding sharing information about you and refraining from inviting both of you to the same events or gatherings.
• Stay elsewhere: If you feel unsafe or need space, consider staying with a trusted friend or family member for a while. This can provide a sense of security and distance from your ex.

Professionals:

• Therapy and Counselling: Consider seeking individual therapy or counselling to help you process your emotions, set boundaries, and develop strategies to cope with the situation. A therapist can provide professional guidance and support tailored to your specific needs.
• Support Groups: Join support groups specifically for individuals dealing with obsessive exes or alcoholic friends. These groups can provide a sense of community, shared understanding, and practical advice.
• Legal and Law Enforcement: If you feel physically threatened or your ex is engaging in illegal activities, such as stalking or harassment, involve the police and seek legal advice. Your safety is paramount, and legal protection can help enforce boundaries.

Remember, seeking support is a sign of strength, and you don't have to go through this alone. By involving your trusted network and professional resources, you can effectively navigate this challenging situation.

Remove your ex from your social media and block them

Dealing with an obsessive ex-friend alcoholic can be challenging, but there are several steps you can take to protect yourself and move forward. One crucial step is to remove your ex from your social media and block them to prevent any form of contact or access to your life.

Firstly, understand that social media can be a challenge when dealing with an obsessed ex. Social media platforms create large networks of contacts, and your ex may try to contact you directly or through mutual friends. Therefore, it is essential to remove your ex from your contact lists and friend lists on all social media platforms. This will prevent them from seeing your content and hopefully reduce their ability to contact you.

Secondly, blocking your ex on social media is a powerful tool to enforce no-contact. Blocking ensures that your ex cannot view your profile, posts, or stories. It also prevents them from messaging or contacting you through the platform. This step is crucial because it limits their access to you and helps you maintain your privacy.

Thirdly, consider making your social media profiles private. This will allow you to control who views your content and further restrict your ex's access to your life. By making your profiles private, you can choose who follows you or sees your posts, reducing the chances of your ex stalking or harassing you online.

Additionally, be mindful of mutual friends or connections on social media. Your ex may try to gather information about you through these mutual connections. While you cannot control what others share, informing your trusted friends about the situation can help. They can be cautious about what they share and respect your privacy.

Finally, removing and blocking your ex from your social media is an important step, but it may not be enough on its own. Consider other measures to enforce no-contact, such as changing your phone number, email address, or even your address if necessary. Seek support from friends and family, and if you feel unsafe, do not hesitate to involve the authorities. Remember, your safety and well-being are paramount.

Avoid all contact and ignore their attempts to reach out

Dealing with an obsessive ex-friend alcoholic can be challenging, but it is important to prioritise your well-being and firmly establish boundaries. Here are some detailed steps to help you avoid all contact and ignore their attempts to reach out:

Firstly, inform your friends and family about the situation. While you may feel embarrassed or hesitant, having a support system can provide protection and emotional support. They can help you avoid any encounters with your ex-friend and offer a place to stay if you need space. It is also advisable to inform your workplace or school, as they may have protocols to ensure your safety, such as providing escorts or restricting your ex-friend's access to the premises.

Secondly, remove all methods of direct communication with your ex-friend. Block their number and email address to prevent any calls, texts, or emails from reaching you. You should also block them on all social media platforms, as these can be avenues for indirect contact or stalking behaviour. If your ex-friend continues to attempt contact, do not acknowledge or respond in any way. Ignore all gifts, letters, or other items they may send, and do not return them.

Thirdly, consider changing your daily routines and habits. This may include changing your commuting route, avoiding places they frequent, or joining a different gym. While it may be inconvenient, these steps can reduce the chances of accidental encounters, which could fuel their obsession further.

Finally, be consistent and firm in your decision to cut contact. Obsessive individuals often have difficulty accepting the end of a relationship and may interpret any response as a sign of hope. Do not fall into the trap of thinking they will change, as they may simply be waiting for an opportunity to re-enter your life.

Remember, your safety and peace of mind are paramount. If you feel threatened or if the situation escalates, do not hesitate to involve the police or seek legal assistance.

Make it clear to your ex that the relationship is over

Dealing with an obsessive ex friend who is an alcoholic can be challenging, especially if they are struggling to accept that the relationship is over. Here are some detailed and direct instructions to help you make it clear to your ex that the relationship is indeed over:

Make it public:

Tell your family and friends, especially those you share with your ex, that your relationship is over. The more public this information is, the more "real" it will seem to your ex. If you keep the breakup quiet, your ex might interpret it as a sign that you are still interested and become obsessed with winning you back. By making it public, you establish a clear boundary and reduce the chances of your ex holding onto false hope.

Cut all contact:

Avoid all contact with your ex. Do not respond to calls, texts, emails, or gifts. Ignoring all attempts at communication sends a clear signal that you are no longer interested in maintaining a connection. While it may be difficult, responding even to ask them to leave you alone can be interpreted as a sign of encouragement. Your silence and lack of response will, over time, reinforce the message that the relationship is truly over.

Remove them from social media:

Social media platforms can be a means for your ex to try and contact you or keep tabs on your life. Remove them from your contact lists and block them if necessary. This ensures that they cannot easily access information about you and helps create distance and detachment, aiding in your ex's acceptance that the relationship is over.

Seek support:

Letting others know about your situation can provide you with a protective network of support. Confide in friends, family, or community organizations, who can provide emotional support and practical help. They can help watch for signs of your ex trying to contact you, offer a place to stay if needed, and generally help you navigate this challenging situation.

Be consistent:

Once you decide on a course of action, stick to it. Obsessive exes may sometimes seem to back off, but they could be waiting for an opportunity to re-enter your life. Stay strong and consistent in your resolve to maintain distance and clarity about the end of the relationship. Remember that you are in control of how much your ex can bother you, and taking proactive steps to cut contact and seek support will reinforce the message that it is indeed over.

Prioritise self-care and process obsessive thoughts

Dealing with an obsessive ex-friend alcoholic can be challenging, but it's important to prioritise self-care and process obsessive thoughts in a healthy way. Here are some steps you can take:

Establish boundaries and maintain distance

It is crucial to establish firm boundaries with your ex-friend. This means clearly communicating that the friendship is over and that you do not wish to have any further contact. Block them on all social media platforms and avoid any physical encounters. Maintaining distance is essential to help you move on and prevent your ex-friend from having access to you.

Seek support from others

Share your situation with trusted friends, family members, or a therapist. They can provide emotional support and help you process your thoughts and feelings. It's important to have a support system to fall back on, especially if you feel overwhelmed or threatened by your ex-friend's behaviour.

Prioritise self-care

Taking care of yourself is crucial during this time. Ensure you're getting enough sleep, eating a healthy diet, and engaging in regular physical exercise. Self-care also involves practising good sleep hygiene, such as maintaining a consistent sleep schedule, limiting device use before bed, and creating a relaxing bedtime routine.

Challenge obsessive thoughts

When obsessive thoughts about your ex-friend arise, challenge them by asking yourself a series of questions:

• What facts support this thought?
• What existing evidence contradicts it?
• Is this thought based on reality or my interpretation of it?
• Will this thought matter in a week or a month?
• What advice would I give to a friend in this situation?

By questioning your thoughts, you can gain perspective and realise that your thoughts might be exaggerated or unhelpful.

Remove reminders

Get rid of any items or mementos that remind you of your ex-friend. This includes photos, gifts, clothing, or any other possessions that hold emotional value. Removing these reminders can help you detach yourself emotionally and move forward.

Remember, it's important to be consistent in your approach. Dealing with an obsessive ex-friend alcoholic can be challenging, but by prioritising self-care and processing your thoughts, you can move on and reclaim your sense of peace and independence.

Frequently asked questions