Checking In With An Alcoholic: The Right Way

Alcoholism, or alcohol addiction, is a chronic and potentially life-threatening condition characterized by a person's inability to control their drinking. It can be challenging to confront a loved one about their drinking, but recognizing the signs of alcoholism and knowing how to approach the conversation is crucial. Alcoholism affects not only the individual but also their families and loved ones, and seeking support and resources is essential for all involved. This introduction will discuss the signs of alcoholism, the impact on loved ones, and strategies for checking in with someone struggling with alcohol addiction.

Recognise the signs of alcoholism

Recognising the signs of alcoholism in a loved one can be difficult, especially in the early stages. Alcohol use disorder (AUD) is a progressive disease, and it can be challenging to spot mild or moderate cases. However, there are some key indicators and warning signs to look out for.

Firstly, social activities and drinking habits can be telling. People with AUD may suggest socialising primarily in places where alcohol is served, and they tend to surround themselves with other drinkers. While most people stick to a preferred type of alcoholic drink or brand, a person with AUD will drink whatever is available. They will also prioritise spending money on alcohol, even neglecting essential purchases or financial obligations.

Personality changes can be a significant indicator. Alcoholics may become aggressive or violent, or they may open up and become an "open book" when under the influence. They may also display a lack of inhibition and make risky decisions, such as driving drunk or getting into physical altercations.

Another sign is the inability to control drinking habits. This can manifest as drinking more than intended, not knowing when to quit, and experiencing severe withdrawal symptoms upon quitting. Alcohol becomes the most important thing in their life, and they continue drinking despite negative consequences. They may also experience memory lapses or "blackouts" due to intoxication.

Finally, alcohol dependence can develop quite quickly. Physical dependence means the body craves alcohol, and the person may feel very ill without it. They may experience severe withdrawal symptoms, including seizures or hallucinations. Psychological dependence occurs when a person uses alcohol to cope with problems or face the world, and they find it challenging to stop drinking.

Understand the impact on the family

Alcohol abuse and addiction, or "alcohol use disorder", affects not only the person drinking but also their families and loved ones. Alcoholism can have devastating impacts on families, disrupting family life and family relationships. It can cause family members to resent one another and drive a wedge between them.

Alcoholism can cause financial difficulties, with the biggest hit to a family budget occurring when an alcoholic loses their job due to their disease. Even a temporary loss of income can have a devastating impact on a family. Alcoholism can also cause a neglect of important duties and responsibilities, such as childcare issues. All of these factors can lead to emotionally abusive communication and intimate partner violence. According to the World Health Organization, alcohol makes the frequency and severity of domestic violence worse. It disrupts critical thinking skills and reduces self-control, inhibiting healthy and constructive communication.

Alcoholism can also affect children in the family. Children of alcoholics may be at risk for academic and psychiatric problems. They may experience increased risky behaviour, such as driving while impaired or having unprotected sex. As a parent with alcohol misuse issues, one may interact with their children in inconsistent ways, sending mixed signals.

Spouses of people with alcohol problems are at an increased risk for emotional or physical abuse. Alcohol impairs one's cognitive functions and physical capabilities, resulting in the neglect of responsibilities. Alcoholism can also cause marital issues and lower marital satisfaction, and it is one of the top reasons for divorce in the United States.

Learn about addiction and treatment

Alcohol use disorder (AUD), commonly referred to as alcoholism, is a widespread medical condition. People with AUD are unable to stop drinking, even when drinking negatively impacts their health, safety, and personal relationships. AUD affects not only the person drinking but also their families and loved ones.

If you or someone you know is struggling with AUD, it's important to understand the condition and explore available treatment options. Here are some steps to help you learn about addiction and treatment:

• Educate yourself about AUD: Understand the signs and symptoms of AUD. Recognize that craving the next drink or experiencing negative consequences from drinking could be indicators of the disorder.
• Seek professional help: Consult a healthcare provider or your doctor. They can help with the diagnosis and determine the severity of the condition. Be open about your goals, whether it's reducing alcohol consumption or achieving complete abstinence.
• Explore treatment options: Treatment for AUD typically involves a combination of treatments, including behavioural therapy, medication, and support groups. Behavioural therapy focuses on counselling to change drinking behaviour, while medication can help reduce cravings and ease withdrawal symptoms. Support groups, such as Alcoholics Anonymous, provide peer support and accountability.
• Consider the severity of the condition: The severity of AUD can range from mild to moderate to severe. For mild to moderate cases, outpatient rehab or therapy may be suitable. Severe cases may require inpatient medical treatment or residential rehabilitation.
• Choose a treatment program: Select a treatment program that aligns with your unique needs and situation. Customization is crucial, as everyone's journey to recovery is different. Some people may benefit from short-term counselling, while others may require long-term individual therapy to address underlying issues.
• Build a support network: Surround yourself or the person you're supporting with positive influences. Spending time with individuals who have overcome similar struggles can be healing. Support groups offer shared experiences and strategies to maintain sobriety.
• Address stigma and isolation: AUD can lead to feelings of isolation and rejection due to societal stigma. Understanding the impact of stigma can help create a supportive environment for recovery.
• Utilize available resources: Take advantage of resources such as the SAMHSA National Helpline, which offers confidential treatment referral and information services for individuals and families facing substance use disorders. They can provide referrals to local treatment facilities, support groups, and community-based organizations.
• Encourage open communication: If you're supporting a loved one with AUD, express your concerns in a caring and non-confrontational manner. Offer your support and encourage them to seek help.
• Explore family therapy: Family therapy can be beneficial for both the person with AUD and their family members. It can help repair relationships, address co-occurring mental health issues, and provide healthier coping mechanisms.

Offer support and resources

Alcohol abuse and addiction, or "alcohol use disorder" (AUD), can have lasting health effects and often leads to an increase in risky behaviour. AUD is a chronic but treatable condition that can develop in association with certain cognitive changes and physiological adaptations, making it difficult for a person to stop drinking. It is important to remember that you can offer support and resources to help a person struggling with AUD.

Firstly, educate yourself about AUD and the treatment options available. Learn about the signs of AUD, such as developing a tolerance to alcohol, experiencing withdrawal symptoms, and continuing to drink despite negative consequences. Understand the immediate and long-term effects of alcohol abuse on the body and brain. Research the different types of treatment, including detox, therapy, and support groups. The more you know, the better equipped you will be to help your loved one.

Secondly, offer options and resources to your loved one without being confrontational. Instead of demanding that they "get help," suggest options in a gentle and supportive manner. For example, say something like, "I was wondering if you would consider seeing a doctor to talk about your alcohol use." Provide them with information about treatment facilities, support groups, and community-based organizations that can help them address their alcohol misuse. You can also recommend resources such as books, articles, or websites that offer guidance and support for people struggling with AUD.

Additionally, encourage your loved one to seek help from a healthcare professional or therapist specializing in addiction. Offer to accompany them to appointments or therapy sessions if they feel more comfortable having someone by their side. You can also suggest support groups specifically for people struggling with AUD, such as Alcoholics Anonymous or SMART Recovery. These groups provide a safe and non-judgmental space to share experiences and receive support from others going through similar struggles.

Remember to take care of yourself while helping someone with an AUD. It can be emotionally challenging to support a loved one with an alcohol problem. Seek support for yourself through therapy, counselling, or support groups for loved ones of people with AUD, such as Al-Anon. Taking care of your own well-being will help you provide better support to your loved one and maintain healthy boundaries in your relationship.

Finally, be patient and persistent. Recognize that your loved one may not be ready to accept help immediately. They may feel defensive, angry, or ashamed about their drinking. Continue to offer support and resources, and let them know that you are there for them when they are ready to take steps towards recovery.

Take care of yourself

Dealing with a loved one's drinking problem can be emotionally draining and can take a toll on your health, outlook, and well-being. It is important to take care of yourself and get the support you need. Here are some ways to do that:

• Don't blame yourself: It is important to remember that you are not responsible for your loved one's drinking problem. You are not guilty or to blame for their behaviour, and you can't make them change.
• Seek support: Turn to trusted friends, a support group, people in your faith community, or a therapist. Support groups like Al-Anon and Alateen offer free peer support for families and teens dealing with a loved one's alcohol abuse. Listening to others facing similar challenges can be a source of comfort and help you develop new coping tools.
• Manage stress: Worrying about your loved one can impact your mind and body, so find ways to relieve the pressure. Eating right, exercising regularly, and sleeping well can help keep stress in check. You can also try guided audio meditations to help you stay calm and focused.
• Don't enable the person: Enabling differs from helping when you shield the person from the consequences of their drinking. Helping them means holding them accountable for their behaviour and encouraging healthier ways to cope with stress, such as exercise, confiding in others, or meditation.
• Know when to step back: While you can offer support, it is important to set clear boundaries and understand that they need outside help. You cannot force someone to go into treatment if they are not willing to seek help.
• Be open and honest: Express your concerns about their drinking when they are sober, and provide facts and information about the impact of alcohol on health. Be prepared for a negative reaction, but do not take it personally.

Frequently asked questions