Theo Nash
Al-Anon is an international mutual aid organization founded in 1951 to help families and friends of alcoholics. Al-Anon's primary purpose is to help families and friends of alcoholics, rather than stopping alcoholism in others or assisting with interventions. The organization defines alcoholism as a family illness and has adopted the Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous, changing the word alcoholics in the twelfth step to others. Al-Anon literature focuses on problems common to family members and friends of alcoholics, such as excessive care-taking and an inability to differentiate between love and pity. Al-Anon members are encouraged to keep the focus on themselves and recognize that they did not cause, cannot cure, and cannot control another person's alcohol-related choices and behaviors.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Informative | Informs families and friends of alcoholics about the nature of alcoholism as a disease |
| Practical | Provides practical tools to deal with the effects of alcoholism |
| Insightful | Offers valuable insights about how not to suffer the effects of alcoholism |
| Supportive | Provides a support system for families and friends of alcoholics |
| Encouraging | Encourages self-care, self-compassion, and setting boundaries |
| Empowering | Empowers members to focus on themselves and detach from the alcoholic's behavior |
| Hopeful | Shares experiences of hope and strength gained by members |
| Inclusive | Welcomes individuals of all backgrounds, regardless of race, creed, gender, sexual orientation, age, etc. |
| Non-interventionist | Does not aim to intervene or control the alcoholic's behavior |
| Collaborative | Works collaboratively with Alcoholics Anonymous to support recovery |
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What You'll Learn
Understanding the disease of alcoholism
Alcoholism is a disease that not only affects the alcoholic but also their family and friends. Al-Anon defines alcoholism as a family illness. It is a fellowship of relatives and friends of alcoholics who share their experiences, strengths, and hopes to solve their common problems.
Al-Anon's primary purpose is to help families and friends of alcoholics, rather than stopping alcoholism in others or assisting with interventions. Members are encouraged to keep the focus on themselves, rather than the alcoholic, and recognize that they did not cause, cannot control, nor can they cure their loved one's alcoholism or problem drinking.
Al-Anon literature and meetings provide a mature perspective on dealing with the issues caused by alcoholism. They help families and friends of alcoholics to detach themselves from the alcoholic and their drinking behaviour. This can involve setting boundaries and recognizing that they are not responsible for the alcoholic's behaviour.
Al-Anon's program is based on the Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous, with a focus on helping families and friends of alcoholics to recover from the trauma caused by their loved one's drinking. The program encourages members to pray, read literature, and attend meetings to gain support from others who can relate to their experiences.
The book, "How Al-Anon Works for Families & Friends of Alcoholics", is a valuable resource for anyone affected by the disease of alcoholism. It explains what alcoholism is, how it affects families, and provides tools such as the Serenity Prayer and slogans to help members change any unhealthy attitudes or behaviours they may have developed as a result of growing up with or living with an alcoholic.
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Changing unhealthy attitudes and behaviours
Al-Anon is an international mutual aid organization that offers a program of recovery for the families and friends of alcoholics. The organization defines alcoholism as a family illness and acknowledges that members may join with low self-esteem, often as a side-effect of attempting to control another person's drinking behaviour.
The book "How Al-Anon Works for Families & Friends of Alcoholics" is a valuable resource for anyone affected by the disease of alcoholism. It provides a clear perspective on how alcoholism affects individuals and their family members. It also helps readers understand the role they play in the family disease and how they can change any unhealthy attitudes or behaviours resulting from growing up in this environment.
The book offers practical tools, such as the Serenity Prayer, slogans, and steps, to help individuals address and change their unhealthy attitudes and behaviours. It encourages readers to focus on themselves, rather than the alcoholic, and emphasizes that one person cannot cause, control, or cure another person's alcohol-related choices and behaviours. Al-Anon members are also encouraged to pray, attend meetings, and seek support from others who can relate to their experiences.
By participating in the program, individuals can gain wisdom, learn to love and have compassion for themselves, and make healthy changes in their lives. The book has been described as life-changing by some, who have found serenity and peace of mind through the Al-Anon program and its literature.
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The Serenity Prayer and other tools
Al-Anon's Serenity Prayer is a tool that can help families and friends of alcoholics gain perspective, understand what they can and cannot change, and know when to act and when to let go. The prayer goes:
> God grant me the Serenity to Accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can and Wisdom to know the difference.
The Serenity Prayer is a reminder that while you may not be able to control or cure a loved one's alcoholism, you can focus on yourself, attend support group meetings, and seek support from others in similar situations. Al-Anon literature and recovery tools emphasise the importance of self-care, setting boundaries, and detaching with love.
The program encourages members to learn from the experiences of others and to utilise tools such as slogans and steps to help change any unhealthy attitudes or behaviours that may have developed as a result of growing up or living with an alcoholic. Al-Anon's literature also includes guiding principles referred to as the Three Legacies, which were adapted from Alcoholics Anonymous.
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Real experiences of Al-Anon members
Al-Anon is a support group for the family and friends of someone who has a drinking problem. It is distinct from Alcoholics Anonymous (AA), which is an organization that helps individuals recover from a drinking problem. Al-Anon was founded in 1951, 16 years after Alcoholics Anonymous. It is an international mutual aid organization for people who have been impacted by another person's alcoholism.
> "Living with an alcoholic was hurting me mentally. I was either trying to control or enabling. This book helps me to detach, to let go and let God. [...] This book is a must for anyone who has ever been close to, lived with or loved an alcoholic. Offers practical tools together with actual experiences of people of all walks of life affected by someone else’s drinking."
> "I can personally say, 'Yes,' Al-Anon has given me great serenity over the past five years because I kept coming back to meetings, reading the literature & forming healthy friendships in the program."
> "Today, after gaining so much wisdom in the program, I continue to pray for my family, mind my own 'mind' business, set boundaries, detach with love & keep reading my literature, coming to meetings (showing up for myself over & over again). This book/this program has taught me to love myself, to have compassion for myself first & then I am able to give the same to others."
> "You will learn, too, that you 'didn't cause', 'can't control,' nor can you 'cure' your loved one's alcoholism/problem drinking. You will learn to put the focus on yourself, pray or go on the strength of the other members, read the literature along with members at the face-to-face Al-Anon family group meetings, get support from those you can relate to at the face-to-face/Alanon Family Group meetings)."
> "I gave this to a friend who needed support in understanding her family dysfunction and just started attending Al Anon meetings."
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The Twelve Steps
Al-Anon is an international mutual aid organization founded in 1951 to help families and friends of alcoholics. Al-Anon's primary purpose is to help families and friends of alcoholics, rather than stopping alcoholism in others or assisting with interventions. Al-Anon has adopted the Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous, changing the word "alcoholics" in the twelfth step to "others".
- Admitted we were powerless over alcohol — that our lives had become unmanageable.
- Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
- Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
- Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
- Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
- Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
- Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
- Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
- Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
- Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
- Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God, as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
- Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to others, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.
Al-Anon's literature focuses on problems common to family members and friends of alcoholics, such as excessive care-taking, an inability to differentiate between love and pity, and loyalty to abusers. Members are encouraged to keep the focus on themselves, rather than on the alcoholic. Al-Anon participation has been associated with less personal blame, particularly in women.
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Frequently asked questions
Al-Anon's primary purpose is to help families and friends of alcoholics, rather than stopping alcoholism in others or assisting with interventions.
Meetings are usually small (5 to 25 people) and members are encouraged to keep the focus on themselves, rather than on the alcoholic. Many Al-Anon family group meetings begin with the "Suggested Al-Anon/Alateen Welcome".
Al-Anon can help families and friends of alcoholics to detach from the alcoholic and their behaviour, and to recognise that they did not cause, cannot cure and cannot control another person's alcohol-related choices and behaviours.
